Transcription from Episode #152

All right, well, hey threads listeners, thank you for listening in to this bonus episode of threads. If you’re not sure what threads podcast is all about, why don’t you go back and listen to the previous episode before this, because again, this is a bonus episode, Jason and I had a really good conversation about a topic that has been very prevalent on our show. And that is my mental health journey and making the decision to end therapy therapy on a weekly basis and going to see Shawn as needed. And Shawn being my therapist, so it was such a good conversation that we felt like, This just needs to be its own standalone episode. So. So take a listen to this, let us know your thoughts. And again, if you are a new listener, for context, we definitely encourage you to listen to the previous episode. Thanks so much and enjoy this unfiltered moment between Jason and Ben.

Hi, guys. Welcome to Threads podcast life unfiltered. Thank you so much for joining us tonight. Tomorrow. Whenever who cares. This is episode 152. And we’re super excited that you’d like to listen to us and that you’re enjoying this episode. But before we jump into the icebreakers, Ben’s gonna explain what threads podcast is all about. And then we’re gonna rock and roll.

You know, we’ve done about 150, some odd episodes have threads, and the things that stay constant between shows are, I would say, our desire to be transparent. Jason, you and I have a tendency to just say things like they are on the show ended our friendship, and we talk about them, we work through them. And it’s just an incredible exercise that we get to do on the show. We also speak a great deal about mental health. And you’ll certainly hear that on today’s episode of the threads, podcast life unfiltered. We genuinely believe that seeing a mental health therapist and doing your work are the keys to having a next level experience in life. If you’re feeling like something is holding you back, going to see a therapist and focusing on your mental health are incredible ways to get past whatever it is that’s holding you back. And last but certainly not least, threads podcast is about faith. It’s about working through your doubts in regards to your faith, whether that’s faith in yourself or faith in a set religion. It’s difficult to have faith, especially in things that you can’t see or tangibly experience. So let’s review Shall we uncomfortable conversations, mental health and faith. That is what our show is all

about. Alright, Ben, let’s get into this icebreaker.

How are you showing up tonight?

I’m showing up good tonight. I ran my half marathon. And you know, it wasn’t as Megan’s gonna hate me for this because I’ve been kind of beat myself on it, beat myself up on it. That was a Freudian slip. I just beat myself up because I didn’t think I performed as well as I should have. And so I’m a little bummed about that. But I’ve completed the race. My buddy Mike just killed it. He did such a great job. He’s lost a ton of weight in his first half marathon. I mean, this guy started in February with his weight loss journey. And he has just killed it. And it’s done a fantastic job. So I gotta give props to him. But yeah, I’m showing up good. I haven’t done any exercise and a bit since the half marathon. So that’s been a little interesting for me. I’m in a little bit of a funk. But I’m excited to record tonight, and I can’t wait to see what we’re going to talk about. Ben, how are you showing up tonight?

I’m showing up tonight. I feel pretty well rested. And that’s a good thing. I took a nap today, which was wonderful. And I had set my alarm for 245 I didn’t get up at 245 I think I finally got out of bed around 330 ish nice. It felt so great.

Now why did as you get older like I always comment or notice my kids hate going to bed? Yeah, you know and like and then as you’re an adult you’re like I want to sleep every moment I get Yeah, cuz it just always feels like you’re kind of running a little on E

Yeah, for sure. And last night, yes, we had the campfire but that didn’t go super late, although Nick was the last to leave, and it was about midnight when he left so, but at any rate, Stefan was out at homecoming, and he didn’t get back from his shenanigans until, like, 130. Ish. So we’re up late waiting for him. And it’s all fine. He went to a teacher’s house. So I was I wouldn’t things get

you guys. I would never let Avery stay out that late at that age, I’d be like, Nope, that ain’t happening.

It’s a once it’s like, especially man, it’s a regular thing. No, no, I know. So. And he had his friend’s mom take him home. And they’re great people. So it was fine. So I’m showing up feeling rested. But it has just been, I don’t know, I’m having a hard time getting finding a rhythm after my biking ended. And I brought it up last week, but I’m still feeling it. I’m still working on it. I just kind of feel a little out of sorts with some things. So I did sign up. Sign up. It’s such a weird term. I signed up for a section with my therapist. Oh, really? I did.

So I’m a little disappointed that I didn’t get any feedback on. Hey, Jason, like literally the last episode we had, we had a 20 minute segment about you not going to therapy and you just cutting your finger and doing all this stuff. And then 24 hours later, you’re like, Oh, I’m going to therapy wasn’t 24 Oh, sorry. No, it wasn’t. But either way. I was like, This is what I was talking about. And you’re like, No, I’m fine. I don’t need it. Bah, bah, bah. And then I’m glad you are. And I know, when you posted in the group, you know, doing the tough work. I know that was hard for you. And I don’t know if you feel like, I don’t know, I was just looking for a little bit of like, yeah, Jason was probably right. I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t have but don’t you agree? I? I mean, we

need that Pat, on the back. No,

but I mean, it’s like that was a significant part of our show how you poopoo that you didn’t need to go to therapy, and that you know what I mean? And then all of a sudden, now you’re going which I’m glad, but I’m just like, I feel some validation of like kind of what I talked about.

It’s a tool, and it’s a tool. I can use that tool.

But is he the surgeon or see the band aid? For your example? I

was just curious. She’s just I would say he’s the surgeon. Okay. But you said you didn’t need that. I could probably do without it. But I’m I’d rather not know. I

I glad that’s what I was talking about. So I don’t know. I don’t we’re not getting into that tonight. But I was. I told Mike I was a little bummed that out. I was I didn’t get like, yeah, maybe you’re right. Jason, maybe I do need to look into this a little bit more. But I guess not.

I mean, if I if you need that I can

give you I would just I would have done that myself. I’d be like, you’re right. But I I was I can’t Why was I kidding myself? You know, but I’m glad that you’re going. I mean, yeah, it’s not restarting sessions.

I’m not planning to go as frequently as I once did. Right. I just would like your space to talk through. Really, some of what we talked through on our episode. That’s why I want you

to keep going.

I mean, I don’t know that I wasn’t expecting this, but

I know that’s what threat life unfiltered man.

I don’t think I need to go weekly. I don’t I don’t see that as being a pressing need in this moment. Yeah.

Yeah, weekly is tough. Like, I’ve now almost never gone weekly. I think that’s yeah, I have therapy.

I don’t feel like I need like this huge surgery. I think maybe going with that analogy. And it’s funny, because we talked about being people have healing in church today. Oh, perfect, which was really cool. And of course, I was asked to do another healing prayer with people. So I don’t know how you do that, by the way. Like, it’s,

it’s so it’s so funny. Not funny, but like, You’re so quiet, but you’re able to just like, I don’t know, it’s just it’s your gift, I guess really as your gift.

So yeah, so I’m going down two trails at once. But yes, I agree. Pastor Christie sees in me this ability to stand with people who are broken and and work with them to find healing and I love that about myself. And I love that she sees that. And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I’m open to it as well. And yeah, I think maybe I don’t need an open heart surgery mentally right now. I think what I need right now is just almost like this is gonna sound graphic but resetting a bone. Like I just need somebody to pop it back in a little bit. You pop your shoulder out. Yeah, I feel like maybe my shoulders out. And I’ve tried I put it back in myself, but I just need that push from my therapist to, I guess, set it back where it’s supposed to be. So I don’t see it as a, oh, I’ve got all of this baggage and emotional trauma and everything else that we need to work through, which I did over the last two years. I see it more as, okay, I tried all these other things. And they didn’t work so well. They’re not providing the results. I was hoping they were Yeah. So I’m going to try this. And we’ll see. Do

you feel like you need to not go? Because like, you just feel like I can? Is it like a stubborn thing? Is it kind of because I know you can know like that.

I were prideful. It’s not a stubborn thing or prideful. It’s more a I need to do the tough stuff of believing I can do

this. That’s so true. You really do make a good point. Like

I can’t, I can’t go through life long term with this thinking of anytime that I feel down. Put Shawn on speed dial, go get a session, like I need to get to a point where I can take care of myself. And yes, there obviously comes times where you need to see somebody else. Yeah, 100%. But there’s also a lot to be said for having that mental fortitude of just being able to, to deal with whatever life throws at you without falling apart without automatically just defaulting to I’m going to call my therapist, doing the tough work so that I can continue to grow and mature in everything else. I see it lacks is a pride thing. And more of just a like a I need to do this for myself. Yeah, because this is how I grow.

Yeah, the last like, minute and a half. I did have a light go on when you said do the tough stuff. Because that that actually really makes sense. So I do want to apologize a little bit for putting a lot of pressure on you. Because now that I think about it, and I’m processing it in real time, which usually does not happen. It You’re right. So so far off course I don’t really like somebody for me, I feel like I’m a lifetime of therapy because the amount of abuse but really therapy isn’t set up for for lifetime. It’s not and even Shauna said that exactly, and you you feel like okay, I’m good. I’m gonna go, I’m gonna go try to battle. And if things start slipping over time, then maybe I have to reassess. But you’re totally right. That is like, you need to do the tough stuff. And that kind of trigger that in my brain to be like, yeah, he needs to do the tough stuff. And if it’s not, then, okay, I feel better. I feel kind of bad that I’ve, like, browbeat you about the therapy? Because I mean,

I didn’t sign up. Why do I keep saying sign up for a session? I signed up with my therapist. You didn’t see the arm swing there, but we felt it. I didn’t. And I think part of the reason why I didn’t say anything to you is because I didn’t want you to think that it was like I did it because you told me to like I did it because I needed to.

Well, I felt like maybe my conversation made you kind of reflect a little bit more and go, you know, maybe I’m not quite done. And if you were that would been fine. I mean, I honestly if you didn’t have say that you were going to therapy, it probably wouldn’t got brought up again on the show. Other than if I noticed some slippin, right. But I’m not going to be like, I don’t want you to think like if I see you down a day, I’m going to be like, Hey, Ben, let’s talk about going to therapy like, yeah, that’s not going to be it.

And it’s such a tough balance. Because on our show, we want to peer pressure and people into therapy, right? And I’ve even brought that up with Shawn. And he’s like, you can still encourage people to go to therapy, even if you’re not actively engaged in the process under

percent. Yo, I mean, you have the badge you went you did the tough work, you did the tough stuff. And now you’re going to try and work through it. And that’s what you’re supposed to do. So my apologies again for going hard in the paint on it. Because you’re right. That’s what therapy is supposed to be shit happens. I just feel like I’m never going to get out of therapy. And it good or bad. I don’t know. And I can but I think I’m okay with it, too.

Yeah, and I think it has to there’s a lot to be said for each therapist in their modalities there. Yeah, their ways of doing things. With Shawn. He is very much of the approach of we’re in this and we’re gonna stick to this. And we didn’t ever talk about ending until like, it was two years in Yeah, when we had that conversation. So for two years of my life pretty much weekly all the way through with the was it two years was Shawn it was

Cash when life goes by no fast. So

I did two years of weekly therapy and digging into it. And on a weekly basis, even during COVID, granted, it was remote, but we made it work. And it was very impactful. So, yeah, I feel like if anything, I feel like you weren’t seeing the work that I had already completed or had been doing in that two year span. And thinking that I still needed more.

I think that’s not true. I did. I did think you needed more because I, I just have this hunch. And that’s, that’s stupid, right? Like, just me being this knowing you and hearing how you talk. And some things that you’ve said off the podcast, too. I just, it leads me to believe that there’s more. So I don’t know I’m speculating or assuming because you know, what, assuming does make an ass out of you and me? Mostly me. You’d have done the work as you have definitely changed from where you were when we first met. So don’t think that I don’t want you to think that. That was the reason I don’t know. I don’t know why I got a bee in my bonnet. And I’m just like, No, he’s not done it. But at no point did I say, Well, it’s time for him to do the hard stuff. Like he feels like he’s done. And again, the only reason I brought tonight was because you were going to therapy. I’m like, Yeah, I must have got to him. Like in my head. I was like, Yeah, influence them. And yeah, I guess I shouldn’t have I struggle with my wife with that, like, looking for credit. Not I wasn’t looking for credit. That’s not I was just looking for a conversation like, Hey, man, yeah, we did talk about it. And it was impactful. And I felt like I needed to go see Shawn. And I wouldn’t have gone like nananana booboo, like I wouldn’t have done that. Like, hi, I told you. So I wouldn’t have said that. I would actually my heart kind of overjoyed or not overjoyed, but it was overjoyed. overfilled overflow overflowed float. When you said you were going on like, okay, good. Like, maybe our conversation was impactful to him. So I was just being a big baby and wanted you to say, you’re right, Jason.

I don’t know. I guess you’re right. Well, if you don’t, it wasn’t my thought process. And decision-making wasn’t? Well, because Jason says so. But

no, but I mean, I just thought our conversation was really good. And the last show, so I thought, oh, maybe like, that’s our that’s what we always want to do. Right for the show. When people hear it. We want them to take action. Right? So you are taking action. So I was like, Ah, sweet. Yeah, I was super pumped about that. But then when he didn’t say anything, I was just like, I don’t know why I was sad. I don’t know. I’m not mad sometimes. But

okay. But anything else that you want to say about that? No,

I just want to say that I’m proud of you for putting paws on therapy other than whatever this session and just doing the tough stuff. That’s like our group.

Yeah, that’s really what I’m doing. i It’s not like I ended therapy and said, I’m done. I don’t need any more work. Like, I am perfect. No, like, it was more a Shawn and I talked this through over the course of three weeks and just came to the conclusion that when we were meeting for therapy, I was just telling him all the things that I had been doing on my own. And we each came to this conclusion of, you’re doing the work on your own, and you’re just reporting back to me what you did. He’s like, what if we just pushed a pause on the weekly actions, and you continue to do the work?

And that’s honestly, like, that’s what a therapist supposed to do. Like he’s feeling like things are going okay, then he’s, you should offer you I’m sure if you said no, he would be fine meeting right every week. But he wants you he wants you to grow to He wants you to do the tough stuff. So I often have to sit back and remember that it’s, I’m different than everyone else. Like just because I had the trauma growing up doesn’t mean everyone had the same or the intense and some people don’t need it. I would just hate to if I knew somebody well I do know people that are not doing their work. And it worries me it hurts me like I some of these people I can’t have relationships with I look back

on my life and there are segments years periods of time where I wasn’t doing my work and I just look at it. I’m like, how was I doing? Like, spinning my wheels? Like where was I going like what was I focused on? Or just I was just paddling upstream it felt like

yeah, it we need to get back with our personal episodes to listening to that stuff because I’m excited to hear you can be not triggered I hate saying that word because it is app of applicable, applicable applicable. It is applicable for terrible stuff like that. People say that trigger warning if you’re gonna watch All right, good morning, but I’m hoping that when we listen to those old episodes, you’re like, oh my gosh, I remember I was in that place and it was not our Well yeah, but But yeah, I definitely could see a shift for you in the positive so so we’re gonna wrap this up so this actually wasn’t supposed to happen today we are we have an episode to record about hot topics to discuss. And I I don’t know I appreciate us doing this. This is never out of all the episodes we’ve done. We’ve never done this. So we’re gonna wrap this episode up. And this is a bonus for all y’all. But just remember to keep the faith do your work and live life unfiltered

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