Transcription for 110

Hi guys, welcome to threads podcast life unfiltered. Thank you so much for joining us and listening to our show. We are back for 2021 and Episode 110 100 I sounded so like Michiganders 100 like 100. That sounds better. 110 and, man, I’m super excited to be back. podcasting again. What about you, Ben?

I’m pretty excited to you know, I think I thought of a resolution for you.

Alright, let’s hear it.

Stop saying super excited.

It’s like,

it’s like reading ads to win on the other show. I read them so much that I say the same damn thing every single time. I need to stop doing that. You’re right. You’re right. Super excited. Are you really super excited? I’m actually super excited tonight.

I have to It’s been a long time. It feels like

Yeah, what can I replace super excited with?

thrilled.

I am

thrilled to be happy to be here with you. Or excited? Why super excited as true.

I’m excited.

All right. Well, before we get in the show, which is going to be personal format direction. Ben’s going to introduce what threads podcast is all about what our goals are. Then he’s gonna I kind of already introduced it tonight. struction. But it’s gonna just talk about that for anyone that’s new, that maybe you came on in December and we weren’t recording or like what the hell but we’re back with new episodes from here on out for the rest of the year. So Ben, tell us what threads is all about. threads

podcast wife unfiltered is a show all about three main topic areas that we commonly refer to as our buckets. bucket. Number one is mental health. bucket number two would be faith. And bucket number three is uncomfortable conversations. Every time we sit down to record, we fill those buckets, some to overflowing and some maybe with just a drop or two or other shows, we’ll focus on one bucket, but you can count on hearing content about those three areas. We seek to have conversations authentically we we don’t beat around the bush here we just kind of say it like it is we’re open about our struggles. We’re open about the things that we mess up as well as the things that we really rocked and did well. We want to create a space where it’s okay to talk about all of those things. So in a nutshell, that’s the threads podcast. Life unfiltered really boils down to everything I just said we just want to be unfiltered as we talk about life and all of its many intricacies so tonight since it’s been a while since Jason and I last chatted there’s a deem that yours My computer

can you mute your computer? Oh, I muted all without like screwing up squad cast.

I don’t even know. Reminder because it’s time for my daughter to take her medicine. So things are dinging so like unfiltered there it is. We’re remote recording still trying to wander through this COVID craziness. It just it is what it is. And for tonight, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. We are just talking about Wow, you gave me a weird face. When you said you were rudely interrupted so it’s best thing. Oh, my bad, my bad. Not by you. Okay, I just got a deer in headlights from Jason.

I know. I’m trying to make you screw up. am I working?

Yeah, absolutely. So tonight, we are just going to have a conversation just like this. When we do a personal update, we try to hit all the buckets, some more than others just to give us an update of where we’re at. And our goal is to encourage you to have those similar conversations with your people.

So before we jump into our icebreaker game, I just want to talk about a couple of new things for threads podcasts in 2021. One of the things is we are going to offer a one probably once a month newsletter. It’s going to have some our blog entries, the episodes, maybe some random pictures, just kind of what what threads is going through for the month and maybe you missed that stuff on social media. You know honestly on social media like specially Facebook, they don’t show all our stuff to everyone. Yeah, no. If those people Don’t get traction or comments, it doesn’t show it to everyone. So if you go to threads podcast.com slash newsletter, or just search, or just go to the newsletter tab on our website, you can subscribe to the email. And that way, you’ll get all the, you know what all the episodes everything we are doing for the month and you don’t miss it. Whereas like I said, on some of the social medias, the algorithm doesn’t allow everyone to see it. So we want everyone to see our stuff. So yeah, go to threads podcasts, and click on newsletter, and you can just put your email in there, of course, we won’t sell it all that jazz. And then once a month, you’ll get a newsletter

from Benny and Jason. Yes, it will be a one stop shop for all your threads content. I mean, right. But you know,

yeah, and I am still working on the merge that’s in in process two that should be done by the end of the month. Fantastic. And then the next thing, before we jump in is we are starting what a lot of people call a Patreon account. So then I’m gonna let you take that and and then we’ll jump into that.

All right, well, instead of Patreon, which is hard to say and hard to spell, it is hard to define. We’re doing something called buy me a coffee.com. Now buy me a coffee is a platform where you can do just as the name says, you can buy your hosts of the threads podcast, Ben and Jason, a cup of coffee, you can do it one time to do it two times you can sign up and become a monthly contributor. And buying a cup of coffee is just a way that you can show your appreciation and gratitude for the show. So if thread says has an impact on your life, and you just want to say thank you a great way to do that, in addition to writing, you know, reviews of our show and things like that. Another way you can show us appreciation is to sign up for the buy me a coffee website, you can get to it by clicking on our website and clicking the support button on the menu. Or you can also get to it through the URL buy me a coffee.com slash threads podcast. And thank you for considering how you can help make a difference in the lives of Ben and Jason. And I feel like we should have some ASPCA music in the background, maybe we can add that post production.

Also, what Ben forgot to mention, there is a membership platform for $10 a month. If you want to support us monthly, you get access to a virtual mental health support group to be determined, whether it be Facebook or discord or one to one of those mentions on air and our website opportunities to be part of the show. You get to support us on a monthly basis because we do have expenses. And you’ll also be notified by email when new members only posts are published. So you can do that $10 a month actually, if you do $100 a year you get two months free. So you go there. But we really appreciate anyone that even considers helping us move this podcast forward. So okay, we are going to jump into our breaker. So I like these. I’m going to ask a question to Ben number to talk about some of your personal goals for 2021. Ben?

Well, I just so happened to have my planner in front of me.

Did you write your goals down?

Of course I did. I mean, not. Of course, it’s not like me to do that. It’s actually hard for me to commit to things on an ongoing basis. But I got a planner. It’s called the the inner guide, I think it is okay. And this is not a paid endorsement at all. It’s just a, this really works for me. I did one a couple years ago, and just rocked that year. I mean, I did really well at work. All that good stuff. So the inner guide planner, my goals written in there. For quarter one, I want to walk I know this sounds so silly, and you’re probably gonna laugh, but my step count is pretty low. I don’t do a ton of walking. So my goal for the first quarter is 2000 steps a day. And I have times where I don’t hit that because my job’s pretty Cush and I don’t do a whole lot during the day. So one of the things I’m paying attention to is my steps. And I’m starting with a small, achievable goal for the first quarter so that I can jump into the second quarter with a more physically demanding goal. So that’s one of the goals that I have set for myself. And let’s see, I also put on there just, I want to be consistent in that work, you know, I’ve had seasons where I do really well for maybe the first two weeks out of the month. And then I get comfortable, and I don’t put in as much effort as I should in the remaining two weeks of the month. And in sales. You know, I can afford to do that occasionally to check out but it always bites me in the butt down the road, because I wasn’t focused during that period of time. And so now I’m having to do double work of finding new opportunities and closing deals that I had been working on already. So those are some of the goals that I’ve set for myself from a physical activity perspective as well as work.

Yeah, 2000 steps is very little. But honestly, if you’re like literally driving to the customer’s house, or customer’s house, the the clients place you’re walking in the door.

10 steps, maybe

you walk to the tops, another 10 steps, you sit down, you talk, maybe walk around a little bit. So you’re like doing 100 steps per appointment. I

mean, not much. It’s really not. Yeah, what if you tried, you could really hit that if like on lunch, you grab lunch, and then just walk for 10 minutes, you would eat for 10 minutes, you would easily hit that too easily. Yeah. Very cool. So that’s what I’m looking for is those small, small changes. You know, what I found with goals is if you set out with this, like, I’m going to change the world in a week, kind of a goal. You might do good for a couple days, but it’s just hard to sustain that. So I’m starting with small goals that I can achieve. And that gives me energy and momentum to keep going with bigger goals.

Yeah, I think that’s kind of the same what they talk about with dieting, you know, they’re a flash in the pan, but they’re not sustainable. You know, you can, yeah, you’ll drop 20 pounds in like three weeks. But are you gonna be able to eat that way for the rest of your life? And it’s right, it’s not gonna happen.

And then you’ll put 40 pounds back on? Yeah, you’ll definitely put more on the last version. Yeah, it’s a frustrating thing.

So what do you got for me?

Let’s go with what was your best Christmas gift this year. received.

So what was interesting is this year, and maybe we’ve talked about this, and if we have if we ever, we don’t remember what the hell we talked about two years ago. So like, I apologize in advance, but I’m just gonna go with it. Every year, like, Meghan gets so frustrated with me because I by my own president, like basically I’m like, this is what I want for Christmas. And then this is like, let’s say mid November, or towards the end of November, then the first week of December I have it. Like I buy it on Amazon. She’s like, what the hell? So now we’re gonna have a president. Yeah, basically. So it’s always been a frustration for her. So this year, I said, I’m giving you know ideas. I’m giving you nothing. And so she went out and she got me a so I, as you guys know, I have some chronic pain. And one of the, the triggering points are my feet get really sore. So she bought me this like really high end foot massager where, I mean, it just doesn’t do a little bit it like sucks your foot in, like pressure. And this guy, he and it’s like really pushing on the bottom of your feet. So that thing is amazing. And then a close second. I got a watch that I’ve been looking at from my mother in law, and it’s you’ll love this, Ben. I get it. Avery’s like Oh, is that what does that watch? Do? I said?

It tells time.

It she’s like, you don’t get notifications or anything? I’m like, nope. It does. Tell me the date. Wow. She’s like, why would you want that? And like, oh, boy, so

yes. Simple.

It’s simple. It’s very, I I showed it. I don’t have an ami I should have shown you but it’s a little so simplistic that sometimes I have trouble telling what time it is.

You know, it’s like an analogue face. No, no,

it’s got like Roman numerals. So it’s got like the one the three the six or not the one. The 12 the three, the six and the nine. Okay. I mean, when it gets like in the middle, I’m like, okay, is it 535 4640? So, that’s what I’m struggling with right now.

Awesome. Is it a fossil watch? No, it’s

it’s a Long that line. It’s called a movement watch. It’s called mvmt. I don’t know. I heard it on Joe Rogan’s show for years. And I’ve always wanted to watch. They’re nice. They’re really cool. They’re they’re relatively I think the the prices range from like 100 to 300. So they’re not ridiculous. Not bad. No, no. So I know, I don’t. You only wanted one, but I wanted those were my two favorite.

Awesome. What else do you got? For me?

I’m thinking, I want to know what your best Christmas gift is?

Oh, yeah. Well, I think the best gift I got this year. I know it’s silly, but Jesus Christ. Right. Of course, he’s the reason for the season. Good boy. Yeah. So every year, my mom makes a big production out of gifts for the for the kids and the grandkids. And this year was different, obviously. So this year, instead of getting a whole bunch of things that I told her, I’m interested in on Amazon, I just got a debit card from her preloaded with the amount of money that she normally spends. Okay, and so what I did with that is I was super intentional with it, and went on Amazon and I bought things that are going to help me in this new year. One of them is the planner. I also bought myself a seasonal affective disorder, light therapy lamp, which has been phenomenal. Oh, you got yours to look at that.

I got it in the mail too. Or I got it from Amazon today bought the exact same one that you bought.

Yep. It’s, it’s awesome. So each morning, I you know, I’ve been starting my day with a cup of coffee and then just sitting in front of the the bright light. And it’s really interesting because if you go on the Mayo Clinic’s website and and look into seasonal affective disorder, the number one treatment that they recommend is not medicine. It’s not therapy, like counseling, therapy, it’s light therapy, literally get yourself a bright light and look at it. That’s their go to therapy for seasonal affective disorder

is number two exercise.

I think number two was talk therapy and then three was exercise. Okay, I don’t think medicine even made it onto their list. Well,

so when you said look at the light, we’re not supposed to look at it. Because it’s really bright.

I mean, look in the general direction. Like I put it below my, like below my Mac screen. So if I’m sitting at my computer, it’s on but I’m not looking directly at it. So I couldn’t put it on the side of me. Yeah, as long as it’s in your field of vision.

Well, it wouldn’t be it would be like right here. No. Wow. Not like right there but like a little bit further. Yeah, actually look at it. I thought it just had to come on your body.

It’s as far as I know. It’s having it in your field of vision. But Oh, well. I’m

glad you said some I’m gonna have to look it up. The instructions say anything. It’s just like here. Turn it on. This is how you make it brighter. Have fun.

Yeah. And it’s bright. Yeah, I

just can’t look at it because you blind your eyes. Yeah.

Let’s see my last question for you. What was different about the holidays this year for you guys?

Well, for obvious reasons Coronavirus. So I’ll take each side of the family. Okay. The one side was my mother in law and my son. They’re both at risk. So what we decided to do is I bought a fire pit. I’ve never really had one and we put it outside and we started a fire. You’ve never had a

how are we friends? You know, I

had one when we moved in here. No, I should I should rephrase that. I’ve never had just like a

portable

Yeah, thank you. The one when we moved into this house here was kind of built in. One that we had in Byron center we lived in the country was just like, a bunch of rocks in the yard because we lived on an acre so nice. Anyway, so I bought that and we all stayed outside and we hung out it was 25 degrees. Oh man. It was a little cold and had food and just socially distance and did that and it worked out well.

Awesome.

I really feel bad for my mother in law. She’s really struggling you know, being alone and then having a lot of being you know, locked down so much. So she was really happy with it and that it made me happy too. She’s like that was so thoughtful and you did such a great job and I’m putting it all together like I brought the tree or not the tree but we have a kid’s tree. Okay, artificial. I dragged that sucker out in the garage. plug that in and playing Music all that stuff. So very cool. That went really well. And it was shorter than it should than it normally was. Like, all right. I do. I do miss my son. I’ve been we’ve been connecting over playing video games together and it’s just I only got to see him for like an hour. And it’s like, I can’t wait till this shit is over. So we can, like I haven’t hugged him in a long time. We both messed up we could but

Yeah, that’d be hard when he’s an adult and doesn’t live with you. Yeah,

I barely see him and he’s immunocompromised only takes medication that lowers his immunity. So gotta be careful with him. And then on the flip side. I don’t remember if we talked about it, but you know, my dad, we did talk about my dad, but I don’t remember where we cut off. But basically, I told my sister my dad that I don’t want to see him anymore. Wow. And that included Christmas. So we didn’t see them. And they don’t know why. They sent the guests with nulty because nulty went over there and visit with them because my sister was my sister Megan was in town. Okay. Even though it’s so stupid like I’m really frustrated me. She’s coming from like one of the hotbeds of Coronavirus. Yeah. Although although Arizona has taken that that spot now but and I was like you doing unless you took a test. But hey, it’s none of my business. I didn’t right. So that’s how it was different this year. And I’m really hoping next year, man, how will you not take spending time with people unmasked and together for granted? You know what I mean? Like, man, it’s gonna be so nice. Just to like hug again. And

yeah, go, huh.

I think it’s further down the road than we think. But I think there is a small little light hopefully.

Yes. And as we get closer to that light, hopefully it grows and becomes more promising. Right. I’m

hopeful.

I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful that that the you know, the vaccine is coming. But I also know there’s a second strand that is starting to get a little cuckoo bananas. So

yes,

yep. Oh, yes. That’s how my Christmases were different. And New Year’s kind of the same. Actually, the first time I was home and for four or five years. Yeah. barely made it to midnight hit 1201. I said, kids, I’m going to bed. That’s awesome. What about you? Did you stay up till midnight? Oh, yeah,

we stayed up till probably two o’clock in the morning. You guys

are such night owls?

Yeah, well, the kids went to bed. But then I don’t remember what we were doing. But you watch the movie or something? Oh, so we actually watched movies like three nights in a row, which is rare. Dang. So yeah.

Look at you.

Well, that’s kind of just a little fun icebreaker, tell us about your holidays, that sort of thing. We’re gonna take it a little bit deeper. And as part of our show, when we have times where it’s just Jason and I, we’d like to give a personal update. We’ve hinted at a few things, Jason talked about his family. I talked about some of my goals. But one of the things that is always of interest to us is the connections that we form on a day to day basis. You know, we call ourselves the threads podcast. And we really do believe that there’s far more things that connect us than there are that separate us. And so one of the things that we like to talk about is those new connections that were forming. And Jason’s had a chance to form a few of those. So I’ll let him get started with the personal update and tell us a little bit more about that.

Yeah, as far as a new connection form, as many of you have heard, I was going to snow plow this year, which has become a record year of no snow, of course, which is so odd. Like I feel bad for my boss because you know, that’s he does all basically all commercial. So that’s all per time. So if it’s not really he’s not making money now he is a seasonal like he does bark and mulch and stone and stuff. So okay. He most of his money is made the first three months of you know, that season anyways, for the whole year. But yeah, it’s been a very odd year. So I’ve only been out twice. But before we did go out, we did meet we started talking a little bit and I don’t remember how it came up. But somehow Eric St. Show came up.

Oh.

And he asked me, I had said that I was a podcast. And he’s like, oh, what’s your podcast? I told him threads, podcasts. Life unfiltered. He’s like, wait a minute, did you? Were you on the same show? I was like, yeah, we advertise. And he’s like, I’ve listened to your show before. Like,

no way. It’s really cool. Yeah, it

was it was super cool. I didn’t I don’t want to ask if they’re a current listener, because then I know it puts them on the spot.

Yeah,

you know, I always tell them People like me and Chris, Kevin Talon. We’re doing a show I did a show with him his like urine review show. And I was like before we went on like, Chris, I’ll just be honest with you. I don’t listen to your episode. Like, I have so much I listened to and I already added a ton like,

oh man,

it’s no offense, but he’s like, no, it’s cool. I get it. I just tell people honestly, like, I’m sorry, I don’t listen, but I didn’t want to put him on the spot. being like, you know, it was our first actually in person meeting. Right. But I thought that was pretty cool. I mean, what? You know, Ben calls it Dutch Bingo. Like,

just Yep.

I know. I know, like West Michigan is not huge, but

that is pretty crazy. Right? It is one of the chances.

I know it’s not so. Yeah, that’s been a good, a good connection. You know, we don’t really see each other now that we met the one time I don’t think I’ve seen him once because I just go out to my lats that I plow and I just do it and he calls me on the phone. And that’s about it. So easy peasy. Easy peasy. As far as like anything else, I’ll just kind of finish it up for myself, Ben, and then you can jump in. Yeah, yeah. Megan had some really bad strep throat.

And I COVID though, not COVID like so crazy.

You remember I got strep? Like, a season for Yeah. Isn’t that nuts. Like we both had it. She had she was down. She was supposed to get the vaccination. She had to cancel that because she had strep throat. So that was a little crazy, because she always gets sick around Christmas. And one of the reasons why I wanted to separate from my parents for Christmas is because Megan always stresses and I think she gets sick from stress. And even though we didn’t see my side of the family, she still got sick.

That’s awesome. Maybe it’s me. Maybe you’re just so stressful to be your

wall. Come on,

I mean.

And then the last kind of thing that was kind of shitty over kind of the break is not quite the break, but Sally got exposed to COVID. And it was an exposure. It’s like they didn’t they don’t really tell you how he got it or the closure. They just like he was exposed to somebody that was positive. So he came home. But that was rough. Because like during the normally the elementary kids had to be remote at least in Grandville, but salia yet IP Oh, but then when he had to be home, I mean trying to teach this kid like, I mean, these teachers know him. They know how to teach kids with special needs. Like I know how to be a parent needs kid with all right. But I don’t know how to teach one. No kidding.

So very different.

Yes, that was a little rough. Megan was a trooper and did most of the days I did one day or like a day and a half. And I was like, Okay, I’m out. So she did a great job. But that’s about all that’s going on in my little personal world right now. What about you?

Yeah, well, one of the things that we talked about on previous episodes was my lack of dental care. So you want to talk unfiltered, authentic there. And I, I have struggled to be consistent with seeing a dentist. And the biggest reason that I’ve given is I didn’t have dental coverage. So when I started my new job, which is going extremely well, I signed up for the greatest and best dental plan they had to offer. And I made a promise to myself that I was going to get back into routine dental care. So I was super anxious. Like, I was like, oh, man, my teeth are probably rotten and falling out of my head and just worst case scenario, they’re gonna tell me that, that there’s no hope for me. Just pull them all out. Yeah, just pull them all out, get dentures. And I was so riddled with anxiety over it and leading up to the appointment. I I honestly didn’t want to go. But it was like, I’ve got the insurance I have no reason not to. So I went to the same dentist that my wife and kids all go to, and they all love him. So I was like, fine, I’ll do it. And so I went in for the initial exam and shock of shock. The hygenist told me that my homecare is excellent. And she’s like, we only have one tooth that we’re concerned about. And there’s a number of ways we can go about addressing it and we’ll talk about those but other than coming in for your standard cleaning. There’s not a ton that we need to do right now. So in in that moment, it was like all that silly anxiety that I had all that stupid. Just the nonsense that was keeping me from seeking out dental care and all the anxious thoughts like they all Just kind of washed away. And that was like, Oh, it’s really not that bad, like my teeth are not rotting out of my head. And I do have some odd structural issues with my teeth. Some never came down in the back of my mouth. So my teeth are not aligned correctly. So I definitely will need to do some adult braces and also some orthodontic surgery, which is not super exciting. But again, it’s something that I need to do to take care of myself. And I’m excited about, you know, accomplishing something that caused me anxiety, it was good to just go and you know, and not be treated like a cash cow, like the dentist didn’t take advantage of the fact that I hadn’t seen anybody in a number of years. You know, it wasn’t like, Oh, we got to do all this. And that’s the mess. It was a very conservative approach. And it just felt really good. That’s one thing that’s happened.

comments on that? Sorry.

Yeah, please. I’d love to hear him.

I did. So I did. So good. not interrupting. I was like, yeah,

and then you moved on. I

was like, no. But you talked about having insurance. You’ve had insurance through Andy for a while off and on to is the anxiety that kept you away, even when you had the insurance with? With her?

Yes, I was on her plan for a while, and I still didn’t go. Okay. So I was an experience and also just anxiety. Honestly, the dentist

is tough man, I I go every six months and my teeth sock like I have a you know, big Platt guy even though I go every six months, and then the scraping is uncomfortable. And it’s just like, I hate going to so even me, you know, I just don’t like doing the dentist. Like, I think that’s generally an anxiety that you know that everyone has the data.

Yeah, because it can be painful.

Yep. So, all right, you can go on to the next one now, sir. Okay.

So one other thing that I’ve kind of been, I guess tuning back into this was something of great interest to me. A number of years ago, before miracle, our adopted daughter joined our family. I was definitely on a health kick, I lived in Oregon. I was all into the organic stuff and healthy eating habits and all of that. And in fact, if you look at my Gmail profile picture from back then I certainly look a lot thinner than I do now. And so I’ve just kind of been having moments of reflection and thinking about the Healthy Habits I worked so hard to incorporate in my life back then, and how I’ve kind of let them go. And so that just kind of led me down a path of research and finding out what are some things that I can bring back into my life. One of those is a drink called kombucha. Have you had kombucha? What did you call me?

Yes, I have had kombucha but I may not have had the the the like the OG of kombucha like I’m sure there are several different ways of getting it. So yeah, I probably got it in like some sort of soda way. Oh, yeah.

Sure. Well, what kombucha is, is it’s basically a very fermented beverage, and it has its genesis in like, I don’t even know fungus, I guess I’m not sure. But Eastern medicine holds that kombucha when you drink it regularly, can assist with some of the gut issues. And there were several times over the last few months more than several, where I would just start feeling this crazy anxiety over nothing like I didn’t have any reason to be anxious. It was just I had these crazy anxious moments, my heart rate would get elevated. It would be impossible for me to just fall asleep at night without medication. Just super stressed and super on edge and alert and anxious. But no real reason why. And so I started doing some research from the natural health perspective. And, again, being unfiltered my diet up until that point had just been garbage. I mean, in sales, I’m out on the road a lot. So I use that as an excuse to you know, get quick meals, whether it’s fast food or stopping at a gas station. I just kind of went for the quick and easy meals. And that did a number on my gut. And so what I found in my research is serotonin, which is the chemical that yes is generated in the brain, but it’s also generated in the gut, and it travels up through your vagus nerve, which connects your gut to your brain. Crazy stuff. serotonin is also produced in the gut. So if you’re feeding yourself garbage, you’re not gonna feel great mentally. And so it was just kind of eye opening experience of garbage in garbage out. And so I I just put an abrupt stop to that type of eating and drinking. Believe it or not, I’ve cut out Starbucks, the Fufu drinks, you know, I might splurge and get myself a black coffee from from Starbucks, but you know, things like that, and the fast food and everything else. Now I wake up in the morning, I make a big breakfast, like a wrap with a couple of eggs, some turkey, enough protein to hold me over. And then for lunch, I just do a kombucha and a granola bar, and then resume, whatever normal eating looks like from there. So. But yeah, making those changes. It’s been a couple of weeks. And I can certainly tell like, I’m not having those anxious, freakout moments anymore. So that’s been pretty huge for me. So something I learned is that serotonin is generated in the gut. And it’s important to take care of not only your, you know, your physical working out and things like that, it’s also important to eat well, because it certainly impacts your mental health. That was a big lesson for me.

Yeah, I mean, if you want to get down a rabbit hole, the gut, like there’s a lot of science out there about not just the serotonin, but a lot of things. They talk about inflammation, you know, pain and a lot of that stuff comes from the gut. All your little, little squigglies in there, whatever they call them.

your gut bacteria.

Yeah, your bacteria and but there’s another What are they? If you yogurt, it’s got what do they? Oh, biotics.

Yeah, yep. Yep.

So it’s got all the good stuff in there. And yeah, I, the gut is amazing. I wonder if Have you ever thought about like getting that tested? Like, what’s going on in there? I know you can do that.

Yeah, through like a natural path or whatever.

Yeah, you can get all that tested. I mean, it ain’t cheap. But

no. And I mentioned being on this road before, I did have some testing done initially. In Oregon, and also when we move back to Michigan, and Okay, I was given a list of very specific list of these are foods you need to avoid. These are foods that will help you. And it ranked on a scale of one to three, I think ones were in moderation. twos and threes were eat whenever I don’t remember. But yeah, there’s so much that can be learned. And I think I’m going to start by going back to see somebody who can assist with all that. I think there’s great value in that.

Did you mention that you got testing at the beginning of your story?

Yeah,

son of a bitch. Sorry. No,

no, I just did now and I was answering your question.

Okay. I thought I missed it. I’m like, sometimes I jump into look at something else when you start,

like, Oh, no, you’re good.

All right, we’re gonna transition to our mental health update. I really don’t have a lot going on. I took kind of a hiatus over the holidays.

That’s right.

I just I don’t know. Like when I took a break, I just didn’t really have I know I say this every time but like, I just didn’t have a lot to talk about, even though I have a lot going on. I don’t know. I say that every time and then I go in there and then we talk for an hour but funny how that works. I know, right? Yeah, we try to sometimes we go long to like, sometimes we’re like, oh, let’s plan for an hour and then what was it? Here last? Oh, it was the Emily and forgive me. I don’t know. Or Nathan, Nathan and Emily. Yep. Yep. That one went way long. It did. It did. But anyways, uh, yeah. So I have not really done anything. My anxiety has been okay. My pains been a little high. So a lot of that is mental work. It’s one of those things where You know, I’ve had all my pain looked at, and there’s nothing wrong. So it’s kind of like you have to have a mentally good attitude about like, like quality of life, right? Like, sure. I’m not going to get rid of this, but what can I do to make it tolerable? So my life is, so I’m not grumpy, because it causes it causes me to be kind of grumpy when it’s, you know, well, it’s flared up, too. Yeah. But as far as mental health,

like,

I feel like I’m doing okay, and I haven’t really gone to therapy. So that’s Yeah, well, I

think you’ve made a lot of steps towards being okay, mentally. I mean, the biggest one that stands out to me is you chose to not let your family drama interfere with your Christmas, unless you have a lot to protect your mental health.

Yeah, that’s such a good point. It’s just even though, like we talked about with my dad, who’s not quote unquote, toxic, meaning he’s not doing things to like blow things up, right? It’s still stressful. It’s still like, why are we doing this? Like, we don’t really have a relationship is why exchange gifts to this fake crap? Like, right? We you know, you don’t want to do it either. So I’m just kind of the one strong enough to say, I don’t want to do this anymore. So that’s good. Yeah. So as far as that goes, I am feeling I’m feeling kind. Okay, we are going to start again, the 16th. So awesome. I’m not writing her off forever, just just took a break.

Yeah, it’s an interesting season for sure. I also took a little bit of a break with my therapist, he was out of the office for the week after Christmas, as well. So we’re on a break. But just jumping back into it next week, something really incredible happened on a relational level with my dad, and it just came to mind when you were talking about yours. And, and as we’re talking about mental health, one of the things that I’ve talked about often with my therapist is my relationship with my dad. And like you There’s nothing super toxic that has happened in recent years. But there’s just a lot of unresolved stuff that never gets talked about from childhood, that just seems like it gets constantly ignored. And that is toxic. So it’s not that my dad is, you know, a toxic agenda and not wanting to have a relationship with me or whatever. It’s just things were rough during a patch of life. And you can’t just make that go away. But I was super encouraged by my dad this year. We did Christmas different, of course, because of COVID. I have two brothers. And so each of my brother and their families went to my parents house individually. So it wasn’t like we were all together. It was just my parents, and then one of their sons and their family. So when it was my turn, we did ours on Christmas Day. We grilled steak. And that was something that I requested, cuz I love actually was my whole family, because we’re kind of into grilling. So I got to my parents house. And my dad’s out in the garage. He’s got a chair. And he’s got another chair next to it for me. And he’s got the grill going. And it was like the super intentional thing that my dad did, instead of just giving me the meat saying here, go grill. Here’s the man, he had it all set up. And we have this opportunity to just chat. And of course, the grill and the steaks took forever because it was frigid that day. Yeah. But we had a good half hour, just sitting by the grill and chatting. And I can’t tell you the last time I’ve had a conversation with my dad that was uninterrupted for 30 minutes, and it was just really powerful. So I think that did really good things for my mental health. So that’s my update.

I mean, do you want to have him on the podcast is you and him? I mean, we have on a ondraw on our Hi, Kenny.

I dropped the app on the app.

Whenever one of the year

you I was gonna say we have on interrupted conversations to on this podcast without it. We do.

And you know, here’s the thing. I think my dad might listen. I I don’t know. I’ve never asked him. But I know my mom does. Yeah. So faithfully she does. That’s not accepted occasionally. Oh, occasionally. Okay. So, yeah, it’s

I’m happy to hear that that’s really great. It you know, all that. stuff goes a long way, that little stuff of like intentionality of just doing something with intention. I mean, you obviously know exactly a definition is, but when when you’re not when that person normally hasn’t done that, I use it as example is sometimes I try if I take Mike’s car, I put gas in it, it’s kind of one of those things like, you know, I’ll just do it because I know she doesn’t like to get gas and, and so it’s just the intention of being thoughtful.

Yes. And that was just, I would say it was lacking for a pretty significant number of years growing up, and I get it, he’s had his issues. He came from a home with a dad who was just not a very great guy, my grandpa, he died young, just wasn’t a super guy. So so I can give my dad some grace. But still, it sucks that during my high school years, especially when I really just needed a father figure that was active in my life, it was a struggle, for whatever reason, so to see the intentionality like you’re talking about, it was huge. You know,

I, I’m going to encourage you to follow up with that with him. Because, you know, if there’s no like, long, toxic, like, I feel like, I feel like I don’t want you to look back 20 years from now and say, I wish I would have pursued that a little bit more sure. Because, man, that would be awesome. If you guys all sudden connected. And, you know, you talked about, you know, those things of like, maybe him not being there mentally or whatever, for you. Like, I don’t know, man, I would try to run with it. Because, you know, I tried to do that with my dad and I got basically turned down. Yeah. So

Well, I think that’s a reason why I don’t because there’s just that fear of, like you said, like it just stopping or just not working. Yeah.

But honestly, though, if like I said, you know, when I grew up, it was like, there was a lot of shit going on. So I have the I have a lot of baggage from him not stepping in. And yeah, and I’m not saying you don’t have any baggage, either. But without the trauma, you probably have a better opportunity or a better chance to, you know, maybe tighten that relationship up a little bit more than I do. And I just saying, I would encourage you to try to follow up and make maybe write him an email or something or I gave him a card.

You did.

I did

what a good sign.

Oh, he was over on Sunday. So yeah, again, another story of my dad being intentional. He a couple of years ago, went out and bought like nail gun and an air compressor and tools for projects around the house. And he said, if you ever have a project around the house, just give me a call. We’ll we’ll get it done. said that, to me and my brothers. And he’s always kept his word. Well, he recently had ankle and knee replacement surgeries. So he’s recovering from those. So I posted in a local gig gigabit done group in Kent County, you know, I’m looking to replace a door anybody interested? Right, my uncle comments, he’s like, I think your dad might be willing to help with that. Just like, seriously. So it’s like, well, I can’t hurt. I mean, the worst you can say is no, right. I asked him and he said, Yeah, well, how would I bring he brought one of my brothers sons with him to help, you know, the tools and things like that and, and they put the door up. So I just happened to have some cards that had doors on the on the front.

Like, like, like, thank you

cards, like just blank greeting cards and doors. They just have doors. Yeah. larious. I know. So I thought of that as they were working. So I just pulled one out. And I wrote a note to my dad and I just said it meant the world to me that you had the grill setup like you did like that was a Christmas memory that really meant something to me. And then I thanked him for helping with the door and gave him the note as he left and it just felt really good to you know, to know that I told him that amazing.

That gave me some goose bumps like I’m so happy that that was like so touching for you. And then you gave him a car like look at you, man.

I’m telling you. One of the one of the things I wrote in my planner because it basically has you write out goals for all spheres of life. And for family. I put send notes as a goal. For my family, like not my immediate family, but extended family like, okay, that’s something I can do. So it’s really because of this planner that’s kind of brought all of this to top of mind. And good things come from this planner. So again, inner guide, it’s on Amazon.

I think another thing that’s, that’s probably moving the needle a little bit more as the pandemic I mean, we’ve all kind of experienced some loneliness in one way or, or another, even if it means not recording in studio together. That’s a bummer to me like this, right? Like my little man cave, and I love it when my guy friends come over and we record podcasts. Like, that’s my favorite thing. For sure. So that may be going along a little bit why? Your dad’s being more intentional and be like, man, I can’t take this stuff. Is it for Okay, I always say it’s for granted. Right?

Yes, for granted not for granted.

I think I said granted, I think I did it right the first time too. But I had to, you know, life unfiltered. I’m just gonna call it out. So maybe he’s been like,

I’m not I’m not taking

this for granted anymore. Like, I wasn’t intentional with my son and be like, hey, that let’s do this. Like, I’m super excited to do that. So

yeah, I just had the thought it’d be awesome to go kayaking with my dad. Yeah. Summer. Yeah.

I say go for it, man.

So yeah, it’s definitely been a very positive experience with my dad. It’s really restored. I guess some of the faith that I had in him, because there was a time where it was just hard for me to have a good solid relationship with my dad. So it’s been a really positive journey. You know, one of the things and I just made Jason laugh because I use the word journey. We should have like a jingle for every time I say that word. Oh, or pivot?

That’s the that’s the new one, too.

Oh, yeah. Well, we’re gonna pivot and talk about our faith journey now. So one of the the final bucket that we like to at least give some insight into his faith. And to be honest, right now, faith is quiet for me. We’re not going to church. We’re not doing the online church. It’s offered by our church, but we’re just not doing it. And so faith for me, usually looks like going to church with my family, and talking about what we learn. And like, it’s a thing. Well, that thing hasn’t really been there so much. But I’m finding quiet moments with my kids, where they’re asking questions randomly about faith or about God. And so it’s just encouraging to me to know that even in the midst of this pandemic, and not going to church, it still matters to my kids. So that’s my faith update. I’m not really doing a ton with it. Yeah, I’m

not either. I am doing production, you know, once a month, which has been nice, but I find myself when I’m there, like listening to the songs. It’s just been like, Ah, this has been way too long. Like, I need to get back and do these songs. And I’m, I’m really struggling with I mean, I’m not struggling with my faith. I’m struggling with the things I usually do around my faith, like singing, praying more, I really just getting that word of God, to my soul, you know, from my pastor, and I know we can do it online. It’s just, I don’t know. I mean, it’s not what we’re used to. Right?

For sure.

And so it feels a little weird. And I don’t know, maybe if we got back into it, it would be better. But we had a hard time getting the kids to settle down on the couch and to watch it and to have the same connection. Even if it is live. It’s just like, Yeah,

I don’t know. It’s live, but it’s not. It’s not in your same space. Like it’s right on screen.

Well, yeah. And that’s kind of how where I’ve talked about with therapy being telehealth, like, right, zoom is just, it’s there. But I don’t really feel that connection. And I never really thought that would be such an issue for me. But it really, really does. You know, I find even when you and I are recording right now that I’m I’m kind of drifting a little bit where you are in studio. I mean, other than, like, looking ahead what we’re doing next, I would be right on you. So

yeah,

I think I think in general, my faith is still the same as what it was. I just miss a lot of it. For

sure. Absolutely. That makes a lot of sense. Well, as we wrap up this show, just wanted to say thank you for listening for being a part of this. When we started threads podcast, man two plus years ago. I didn’t know what to say. Think or how long we be doing this, like I had no idea what to expect. But threads has become something of significance and value in my life. And you’ve had the opportunity as listeners to kind of see us grow. And that’s pretty awesome. And we love hearing stories from you about how the content we discuss challenges you to grow. And it’s just this super cool relationship made possible by a podcast. So thanks for being part of it. Definitely check out our website for that newsletter that’s going to be starting up this month. Also, the buy me a coffee platform. And I’ll hand it over to Jason to wrap us up. Yeah,

just want to my takeaway surprise what I learned for something. How is all these things give me anxiety?

Like, I am thinking on the fly, I hate it. But anyways, I

guess my takeaway where I was super, as you heard of just a little bit ago and press that Ben wrote a like a no, I would have been impressed if he you know, cuz Ben’s kind of an introvert. Like, do you remember guys back?

I don’t know.

When we’re going with this when Dan like, emailed the lady that he bought busted their door down like that’s the ban. I was expecting to get on the dad thing, but I got thoughtful Ben with a card. So I’m super surprised. That that that you did that and I’m super impressed.

Awesome. Well, thank you. I know this is kind of silly and small, but I didn’t realize that snowplow commercial jobs they’re not contracted there per snowfall.

I mean, that’s the industry standard is personal fall thing. Yeah. And like residential all contracts, you know, he paid for the year and whether it snows I mean, they do some of them have limits now after that one really bad winter with Bob like 40 times and lost their shirt. But yeah, it is it industry standard. It’s

per time. Interesting. Well, as somebody who sells to small businesses, I guess I just have a deeper level of respect for snowplow companies that might be a little bit struggling in the snow drought. We’re having

Yeah, if you’re if you’re a residential flower, you’re just you’re Scrooge McDuck and and that money, right. You’re just you also feel bad. Yeah, I mean, I think it I think it evens out. It’s like some years you plow a ton some you don’t plow much everyone kind of you know, you roll the dice. You just never know. Although a record low year for snow like it rain records.

I love snow. And I’m glad we have some now but I want some more. Dammit, I want that. No.

And it’s melting. It’s it’s above freezing almost every day. So it’s slowly going away.

Well, thank you so much.

This has been a great time to for Ben and I to reconnect. And yeah, look forward to some fun stuff ahead.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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