Transcription #149

Hi there, my name is Chris gastic. And I developed a platform called through a therapists eyes, you know on the show that we do a podcast and I’d like to introduce you to, we say that this is the human emotional experience. And we endeavor to figure this thing out together, because that’s really what we want to do. I try to blow up stereotypes and myths about mental health and substance abuse and disseminate like a lot of information. We laugh a lot, we talk about very serious topics, but we have a lot of fun. Look, I’ve been doing this work this life’s work of mine since 1995. So you know, in the show, I like to say, look, you can get personal insights from a therapist in your own home and in your car. But the truth is, really that’s what we endeavour to do to join with you and talk with us on social media. Best way to interact with this is the through a therapists eyes calm, because we got a lot of really cool things on there that you really enjoy. But we’re on all the other social media platforms and wherever you get your podcasts, but I really want to ask you to join us because I think that you’ll gain a certain understanding of all the things that I’ve had through such a long career working with us so we enjoy doing the show and we look for you to come join us. Take care.

Hi, guys, welcome to threads, podcast life unfiltered. Thank you so much for joining us tonight. Wherever you’re listening or in the morning or on your way to work. We really appreciate you listening to Fred’s podcast live on filter, and this is episode 149 personal format. But before I talk about the icebreaker, and those kinds of things, or updates, I’m just going to talk about what threads is and we’re heading

imagine that it is a fall night temperatures Chris, you’re in the good company of friends and you’re all sitting around a campfire. See what I created there in your mind, I bet you’re jealous and you want to go do that. Well that’s the kind of environment that we are trying to create here on the podcast, we want to create a space where you’re in the company of friends, Jason and I tonight are our guests on other nights and this is a chance for us to have a campfire conversation. There’s something about being around a fire and just talking shooting the breeze being real and honest and open. And that’s kind of the goal of what we’re doing here on the threads podcast life unfiltered and as we do that, we tend to notice the threads the commonalities the things that are similar in each of our stories and we walk away feeling like oh, I am understood I’m heard I’m not the only one going through this amazing I’m not the only one that forgets to mute the notifications what the hell

I accidentally hit the Microsoft so it’s got that will you work on a PC for work that Microsoft Edge or whatever it is it’s on my I’m sure I can edit that but I want to hit telegram and I hit that so I’m trying to get out of this and it’s like making me apply a setting oh boy

oh that’s fun. really bring that in cheese Louise

rookie move over here.

So that is what the threads podcast is all about.

So when you talked about can you can you do the fall thing again real quick because I wanted to do something but it was too late Can you just like set the stage again?

What are you gonna do just set the stage imagine Come on You didn’t do it like just do it it’s a fall night the temperatures are Chris wow that is

hot too by the way it

was pretty good.

Oh sorry. I’m like this Do it again. I thought about it like and you were like to set it was two seconds too late. And as I was debating to use it, it was six seconds too late. And I’m like I can’t use it now. The thing happened and then the thing Oh man,

it’s all right, right? Well On that note, actually leaving that note. Let’s do an icebreaker How are you showing up? Today? It is 150 to Sunday afternoon timestamp How you doing?

I’m doing okay I was yawning about 17 times before we pressed record and I got 10 hours of sleep last night now. again back to the whoop it it’s based on your heart rate so if you sit incredibly still with your eyes wide open and you’re not sleeping it will register that sleeping because it’s based on your height it doesn’t know i mean it kind of does when you’re in RAM but I think that’s all it’s all heartbeat. related. Yeah. So if you can really control your your heart rate and settle in. It says you you’re sleeping so it said 10 hours and 15 minutes my guess it was probably nine and a half maybe 915 But anyways, I got a lot of sleep. And I’m yawning like a lot. And I don’t know why. But yeah, it’s been a Pretty eventful day so far got lots to do today it’s busy and then back to work. Tomorrow and other than that, not much I would say I’m like 50% there. I know that’s not good. You’re like out great 50% recording episode I’m, I’m about I actually asked the question before when I was talking to Megan, why are we even here? So that tells you where my mind is like in general, why do we exist? Hmm. So that that’s fine point of humans. Yeah, just in general. Like I’m having like, What? Why does any of this shit matter? Why do I need to lose weight? Why can I just eat Lucky Charms all day? Like literally those are the discussions my wife and I had about an hour ago.

All right, you guys should have just press record. The episode. It was

a shit show though. Like Megan’s Like what?

Nice. I am showing up. You gave a number of 50%. I’m gonna give it number two, I’m going to say negative one. And that’s a Joe scale. That’s Joe Reed, who was on our show, he wrote a book called broken people. He has this mental health scale. I think it’s like negative 10. All the way to 1010 being like positive 10. Being you’re killing it, you’re crushing it things are moving forward. Negative 10 is your like, you’re basically calling pine rest, you call it and pine rest for sure. So zero is your baseline. Yep. And I’m just adding negative one today. It’s not like anything huge is going wrong. And in fact, to get over the hump and into the positives. That wouldn’t take a ton of work. I’m just feeling kind of blah, like grainy. And I’ll get more into my blog feeling a bit later. But that’s how I’m showing up just kind of like me.

Now. All right, well, we’re kinda in the same boat that Yeah,

so this might be a math episode. Oh,

don’t say that. Let’s like slap each other in the face really hard and be like, let’s do this. So, transitioning, why do I read that every stupid time? I’m like Ron Burgundy. But yeah, so couple of things that we do in the personal update disconnections interactions. And I’ll start with my connection. It’s actually my wife and I, we’ve been really just in this, we’ll touch on this a little bit in the mental health update, too. But we’ve just been doing good work. This is probably the longest we’ve said we were going to do something and actually did it and kept going. So

is that the Monday night thing?

Yeah, the Monday night thing. I’ve been able to say, hey, Monday nights is your night or our night. But you are the priority. You are the one that I want to spend time with. Not that I don’t do podcast work, or do mow the lawn or everything, but like, when do we want to do this this time? Perfect, we’re gonna do it. Nothing’s gonna get in the way. And if I have podcast work to do, and you know, our Hangout goes long, then I guess it just doesn’t get done that night. Unless it’s an episode that needs to be recorded or edited, then I will be up till one in the morning doing it. That doesn’t happen on Monday night. So thankfully, that hopefully isn’t an issue. But right. What kind of was last week because I don’t know if I’ve said on the show. I’m editing for another company, like as a subcontractor, and there was stuff two episodes due by Wednesday last week. So I was up late this past Monday trying to get that done. Because you know, I don’t like to wait to the last minute, but so yeah, no, that’s been it’s been incredible. And we’re powering through powering through Bernie browns. I’m forgetting it again. But you guys know what I’m talking her book, her book her. It’s not even a refund book. I’m the worst. But anyways, so yeah, we’re going through that chapter by chapter or guideposts by guidepost. And so that’s been good, but it’s way more than that ends up turning into like, some thoughtful, good conversation.

Awesome. Yeah. Very cool. Well, you just had a, you know, a celebratory moment of you and me connecting. I’m going to bring down the room and talk about a valley because I’m just cool like that. That’s the probably the first thing that comes to my mind. As I think about the last week is this huge goal that I met I set a goal to cycle 800 miles by the end of September. And I finished with a day to spare like I did it. And as amazing as that was. And as amazing as it was to have so many people like saying way to go You did it. That’s incredible. Now it’s done. And it’s like, that was the one thing that was keeping me motivated, excited, like, there was like this fire under my butt to get it done. And now it’s done. And I’m sore as What? That’s another story. But now it’s just kind of like this feeling of well now what? I just did this huge thing and That was like, what I was so excited about and focused on. And now it’s done. It’s almost like that. Last week we had Risa on and she did this huge walk for mental health. And she talked about how it was so difficult going back home and being inside and being in regular mundane life and going back to work. And I guess that’s kind of how I’m feeling maybe a little bit different way. Just kind of feeling like this. Bla, of, Hmm, I don’t have anything really pressing going on right now, in this moment. I’m not sure what to do with this. So

I think it’s pretty normal. It reminds me of like Christmas morning. Yeah, the anticipation and obviously, didn’t you actually were doing the biking or anticipating it, but getting excited for something? And then it happens, you’ve completed it, it’s finished. And then how does everyone feel the day after Christmas? So it’s like a hangover, right? You know what I mean? And so it’s kind of similar, but I think it’s totally normal to just kind of feel like, oh, like, I’m glad it’s done. It was exhilarating. But I’m just feeling kind of down now. Yeah. So I think that’s normal.

And one aspect of that was, I would say, 90% of my rides were done in sunlight, daylight, like it was bright. And that was so good for my mental health, just be in the sun. And now that we’ve had a couple of rainy days, and we’re just kind of in this fall season, I definitely am impacted by that. So I would say the weather is even just kind of a valley. So just kind of feel like coming off of the mountaintop and getting back into the block. Hopefully life a little bit. Okay, that’s me, that’s my Valley.

All right. For me, my Valley I would say is running. Speaking of exercise, just battling some injuries, and it’s just I’ve not been able to perform like I want to and it’s just really bumming me out. And to the point of like, I can’t wait till it’s done. Like I can’t I wish the race was tomorrow. So I could be done with it heal up and kind of refocus my energy on going back to the gym and stuff like that. It’s just it’s a bummer. A train hard and and i don’t like I’ve already signed up for the race, and I don’t want to quit. I mean, if it was that bad, I would if it was like to the point where I couldn’t run, it’s not that way. At all. It’s just this nagging. What was that? Like? I’ll just say tendinitis, it’s just it’s there. It’s not horrible pain, but it’s, it’s uncomfortable. And it kind of slows down how fast you can go. Because right? Do you push hard if you push too hard, which Thursday? I did, one mile did really fast. Which because I was like, You know what? I don’t even care. Like, I just need this blast of energy and pushing it because, you know, I’ve been hovering around 155 160 heart rate, and that’s not blasting for me minds in the 190s. Yeah. And that’s when I’m like, killing it. And I just, I have the energy, I have the endurance, I just don’t have the legs to do that. So it’s been kind of depressing. And and to the point where I don’t want anyone to ask me how my runs are. It’s been a sense of knowing Yeah, well, not you. I mean, every time I would get home from Iran and be like, how was it? My wife and Abraham, like, Please don’t ask. Like, let me come to you after I’ve dissected it a little bit, but I’m really bummed about it. It is like the right now the thing that I’m bummed about most is all this running and just getting up early yesterday morning and just feeling like I didn’t want to do it and yeah, so it sounds silly, because it’s just like, a race your actions like it’s It has nothing to do with anything but sure it does. It does for me, because I put a lot of pride in like accomplishing and I’m not gonna do there’s no way I’m doing a PR like I’ve run half marathons before this will be my slowest one ever. I can guarantee it. So that’s depressing, too. So anyways,

yeah, just coming to terms with your own limitations.

Yeah, at this point, knowing that I do have the ability to go faster and harder, but I just worry that I’m going to tweak whatever it is to the point where I can’t even run Hmm. So anyway, don’t do that. No, I know. That mile was risky. I mean, I was I mean,

I was hauling that was sub nine minutes. Yeah, it was 855

Yeah. And that’s what’s crazy as though the half barons I half marathons I ran 10 years ago, I averaged nine minute a mile. Wow, average like for 13 miles. I know it’s like it was again, granted, it was 10 years ago. I was 35 I am now 45 I’m not expecting to average nine minute miles, but I’m still just kind of pissy about it. Yeah, so don’t so if you know me, don’t ask me. How am I wrong? They’re going

unless you have a whoop band on your wrist

right or, and that’s the only way you have to join our team.

Nice. One other low point that I think is worth mentioning just because it kind of caught me a little off guard. Yesterday I made a to do list of things I wanted to get done. And I got all but one of them done, I did not get into the backyard to pull weeds because it was raining, so whatever. But on the list was to go get coffee. And my wife and I are really trying to be better about how much we spend on silly things like Starbucks. So I went to King mmas, which is a local market in our neighborhood, and went to go look at the coffee and this store is just small, everything is so packed in tight, like you can’t it’s

not good for you. And oh, as a giant man walking around, bumping into stuff.

And as a, you know, one who just doesn’t like, retail settings. It was just awful. So I found the coffee. Apparently it wasn’t the coffee my wife was talking about which was at the back of the store. And I was like, I don’t see any like, ground coffee that’s fresh, I just see this packaged coffee, which is fine, too. But this isn’t what I was expecting. So I grabbed a couple of the packaged coffees, went to the front of the store went and stood by a register, because that’s normally what you do at a store when you’re ready to check out and so I’m standing behind the register. And this chick. She’s like, hey, the lines over here, Mike. Oh, okay. And I didn’t argue with her. I had recollections of my Meyer experience where I yelled at a another customer because I thought she was cutting in line. And worried that there might have been a podcast listener there. I just quietly said, okay, and I went in stood behind her. And I guess the way the line works at kingma is is you line up down this grocery aisle, and then it doesn’t matter what register you go to. You wait in this line until there’s a spot open at the register. Yeah, every place

has their different rules. Isn’t that Yeah, sometimes you don’t know what to do, like, Do I go to this empty register with somebody there? I mean, that’s what I would do,

right? It’s common sense, right? But no, you go like flow line. So and I don’t often go to this place, I don’t think I’ve ever successfully checked out at kinkos. I’ve been there a couple of times, first time, they didn’t have what I wanted. And second time was yesterday. And so I get up. Finally, it’s my turn, I put my two little items of coffee on the belt, and the cashier. She’s like, I’m terribly sorry, but I’m, I’m off shift. There’s a new cashier coming. And so the new cashier was there, right next door. So I was like, okay, whatever, not a big deal. But then the cashier who was leaving her post, she’s like, Oh, crap, I have a suspended transaction from when I went on break. I didn’t pay for my food yet. I can’t sign off until I pay for my food. And I’m like, okay, so pull out your wallet and pay for it. Like just do what you got to do. She didn’t have her wallet, it was in the break room. So they had to shut the entire lane down, because they couldn’t get this cashier off of the register until she paid for her items. Meanwhile, second cashiers just standing there like annoyed. I’m annoyed. The people behind me are annoyed. There’s just like this

vibe of annoying Yes. And

I just looked at them. And I said, You know what, whatever. And I left my coffee on the belt. And I left Oh, like I’m not doing this like this. The store is so stupid. I can’t find what I’m looking for. This isn’t even really what I wanted. Now. I’m out. So you just

walked out. I just walked out something that I would do. Like, just kind of be like, this is bullshit. I’m out of here. Yeah, I can’t believe you did that. I

mean, I again, worried that somebody might know who I am. Whether it’s through the podcast or the Facebook group that I’m a moderator in, I held my tongue and I just said whatever. And I walked out

Well, you could have that could have been labeled as you know what I mean? Either way, but uh huh. that’s frustrating

there was but then I went to the bitter end which is where I originally wanted to go. And I got the fresh small batch coffee that’s so bougie but delicious. And life was fine. But getting through that was a process. So you

went all the way from Plainfield, downtown to fall and

I did because What I really wanted was the rocket fuel coffee from bitter end. It’s amazing. Now, because they’re just kind of a small operation. They don’t ever answer their phones. No. So you can’t call and ask them. Hey, do you have any rocket fuel ready for purchase? So it’s always a crapshoot. So I went to King mmas. Because my lovely wife said that they have good coffee. Anyway,

must not be that good. Because I haven’t heard of them.

I finally went to where I originally wanted and all was,

why don’t you just go to Starbucks and get their coffee? It’s still cheaper. It’s cheaper. But I never know. I mean, it’s still cheaper than getting your fancy coffee. Right? So in fact, you probably paid more at the bitter end for and got less than you probably could have got ground coffee at Starbucks.

True. But I don’t I don’t know. We’ve tried the Starbucks. ground coffee, and it’s just not really,

I’m sure that’s what they use in their food drinks. Maybe.

I mean, there’s this fresh though. Like they have the fresh beans that they’re grinding up the package stuff is who knows how long it’s been?

Yeah, but most of that stuff and fits vacuum packed. It’s still fresh until you open it up. Yeah, that it becomes d fresh. But anyways, probably just made up a word there but be fresh. That’s that sucks. I’ve been there where just when people aren’t? I don’t know. It sounds like they were just, it was just an unfortunate situation was where they screwed up. I don’t know why the other lady just didn’t be like, Okay, well, you do that I’m gonna pop on this register and just help these customers out like,

using the other ladies register or

whatever. If there’s more than one, just go do it. And it doesn’t seem that hard. But

yeah, the whole thing was just kind of a joke. Do you want to reach out to them for

sponsorship or not?

Sure. Yeah. No,

we’re good. Well, sorry about that. So meaningful interaction with me was Katie, who is my massage booth. Very fancy. So boozie boozie. So I get a massage. Once a month, I’ve had chronic pain in the past, I go to Massage Envy. It’s been a been a good thing for me. It’s not a boozy massage. Or it’s like, although she does something on my head, like at the end. If you have ever gotten your head massage, it’s incredible. Like, it’s insane. I know. It sounds weird me saying like, I could pay for the whole hour for her to do that. It’s I don’t know what she does, but it’s great. But anyways, um, so I go once a month, and it Well, what I was saying is it’s not for like, a boozy massage. It’s a lot of it was my back pain, which has become gotten under control a little bit. So it hurts when she works on me. But anyways, so we’ve established this relationship, and she’s comfortable with me and everything. And she is gay and married to her wife, and they don’t know if they’re gonna have kids. And it’s always weird with with gay people. I find I see more gay dads having kids think game. Women, I don’t know what it is. But maybe that’s what I see on social media, but they don’t know if they’re gonna have kids, but they have a lot of pets. And I love my pets to death. And she and her pets are like her kids. So it is a toy to relationship. So I go in for my massage. And I was like, hey, Katie, how’s it going? She’s like, and she’s always cheery. She’s like, takes a deep breath and goes, I was like, okay, something’s on like, right away. I knew something was up. And we get back there. And I’m like, are you okay? Like, in my mind? No, we talked about this, that you don’t do this. But in my mind, in my mind, I’m like, Oh, great. The last client tried to sexually assault her, or something weird. Like, I didn’t think I was going to the moon. I’m like, Who’s asked, am I gonna have to, you know, and, and she was, I was like, are you okay? Like, we can reschedule this because it she was that? She started crying. I’m like, Are you good to go like, I’m totally fine. Come in another time. And she’s like, no, it’s fine. And so I got almost nude. chemo neurons. Let’s not That’s gross. She says they do have people that get completely nude in those things. I’m just like, That’s weird. But anyways, that’s topic for another day. Now. I will not talk about nudity and massage parlors. That gets a little weird. Oh boy. Yeah, but I know this is a long story. But anyways, so she’s like, I can’t talk about it now. So like for 20 minutes, I had to like fill the time. And then she finally said she had to put one of her dogs down and I for one, I was relieved. It wasn’t like some guy tried to do something to her but I felt so bad for her because so she was crying like it was one of her and had a tumor or whatever sports years old. And so the interaction i thought was unique is the grief process that people go through when people die or pets die or whatever. Because she knew that that was our connection. As soon as she saw me, it triggered enter. She’s like, Oh my gosh, I’m going to have to talk because he’s going to ask about my pets. I mean, she’s got she had two dogs, two dogs, a couple, like three cats, like stories galore for these animals. So I just thought it was interesting how that grief process and it’s just how that kind of stuff can trigger you. And it was meaningful and I gave her a big hug after dawn and stuff but yeah, that’s my meaningful because it was meaningful to me it just put it in perspective. And I felt that connection to her even though it’s a business relationship. It’s still like, I really care for

Yeah, you know, I think with business relationships, at the end of the day, they’re still relationships. Yeah, it’s just in the context of a business. Yeah, that’s

a that’s a really good point. Because if you met one of your clients, and they said that their father had passed you would instantly have heart ache. Oh, for sure. You know what I mean, because you’ve spent time with this person, you know a little bit about their life. So I guess you’re right. It’s just it’s always interesting in those business transactions, I would say for sure you have that connection. So

yeah. Hmm. That’s hard. Just I hate the loss of a pet like I remember when my dog growing up when we had to put them down and I very rarely saw my dad cry growing up, but he he shed some tears when we had to put Jocko down. Jocko was the most incredible dog. He was a miniature Schnauzer. Yo, we got him around the time that I had broke my leg and was in traction. And I remember I think it might have even been the day the cast came off is the day we went and picked up Jocko and then we had him for years like he was an old boy

yeah it’s tough. I’ve recently lat last couple years Brutus and then Baxter to you around Baxter’s Oh yeah, yeah back sir. You know, I loved Virtus a lot more than Baxter I’m one of them. I’ll be honest with you, like some dogs are just you just don’t have the connection. But when I had to put Baxter down like all of us family were together was on the back deck in there and like they came to the house like sobbing, but then when Brutus died he just killed over in the in the grass in the rain. And Megan brought him in and and I was sound asleep. So I kind of woke up and I was sad. But I don’t know if I actually shed a tear for Brutus. Even though I haven’t tattooed on my arm. I don’t know, it was just the experience of like, putting a pat down. I don’t know. It’s hard now that we’re all sad,

right? What a sad episode, right? So rainy, sad kind of day.

Ben, tell me something that you learned?

Well, we were just talking about business relationships. And that’s one thing that I’m learning is that when I’m doing sales work, when I’m communicating with prospective clients, clients, whatever. At the end of the day, they’re just people, they’re messed up, just like me, they make mistakes, just like I do. I had a couple of emails that went out this week that were either like, like one of them had the wrong business name in it. Oh, and the other one, I kind of screwed up some numbers and giving a quote, and I just felt like this. Oh, my gosh, I can’t believe I messed up like, that’s really dumb. Like, I shouldn’t make these mistakes. But both times people were like, Oh, it’s no big deal. And like the guy that I messed up his company name I, you know, I took like a sentence or two to apologize and kind of made light of it. And then he replied back and this is a cold email like that went out. It wasn’t to somebody that I had an established relationship with.

Oh, so you use you caught your mistake. And then, or did he send Hey, she replied,

and was like, I think you got the wrong company name. But tell me more about what he has to offer.

That’s amazing. I know. I wonder if you didn’t screw up if he would have been like, ask her. This is another right.

But no, he took the time to reply. And then he asked questions about what I was offering. So clearly, my mistake wasn’t that big of a deal. Yeah, in my mind, it was

Yeah, you’re kind of hard on me when I make grammar mistakes on our social media posts. Total side note lumely does a weird thing. And maybe it’s just me, but sometimes it adds the double adds the phrase, I don’t know when you’re trying to edit. Clearly you don’t have that problem, but I’ve noticed twice this week that I’m on one of the pod or not gig economy that I screwed something up but you’re always so hard on me I actually don’t mind it because I I’m glad you catch it and tell me but I always get frustrated like I read that twice like how did I miss that word like it’s it’s that trick where your brain you know you ever see those tic tocs or memes where you are like they they eliminate words and you can still read it just it’s like that you read it and you It sounds fine in your heart and your head so you just hit send but

so that’s what I learned is I don’t need to be a I don’t need to be so hard on myself right and be people are just people like I’m sure this guy who got that email he probably made a mistake at work too. Yeah and nobody’s losing their shit over it

well I did it this week for Hey guys. I don’t I don’t think I said any I don’t think I said anything to you guys. But yes for created a contract. I proof read it Senate had a different business name on it, just like yours. It had the one that we were working with with that one company now we’re not working with anymore. Everything was for the correct client except one line. And I both read it. And so I was the same way. And he actually sent him Hey, just to let you know this is in here. I’m like, I’ll do it. I’m so sorry. Like, here’s the correct one. You just feel kind of like a tool. But I think everyone gets it. Definitely. I mean, you’re not you’re not the president sending out Can you imagine the you remember the stupid letters you’d get for the you already have the stimulus check. It already been deposited like a month later, you get a mess letter from Donald Trump. Like I could see if that one was messed up. That’s a little right. But even they make mistakes.

It’s true. Well, speaking of Donald Trump, my last today I learned is about the election. And the fraud claims that were brought forth by Trump’s attorney Rudy Giuliani. Did you know that under oath, jus that Rudy Giuliani said that he got his supposed evidence of election fraud from Facebook posts, he said that under oath admitted that some of the information he was using to defend Trump was based on social media. Wow, idiotic,

wasn’t it? Well, it sounds a surprise. No,

no, it confirms a lot like Rudy Giuliani is just all about the show and all about the the pomp and circumstance and not about the actual truth of what happened.

So if I’m not mistaken, Rudy, being the mayor of New York back in the day, right? I or people loved him, wasn’t he the guy that cleaned up the homeless, and I don’t know what he did with them. But during his terms, I because I think it was longer than just one. You couldn’t find homeless on the street. And I don’t know if he was putting them somewhere or what but I remember him being such a credible. Yeah, Mayor of that in the biggest city in the country, but he’s just turned into a shit show. And I’m not I’m not saying just because he’s for Trump. But if this guy was doing that, for someone on the other side, I’d be like, You’re crazy. Yeah.

under oath, admitting that. That’s where you go, come

on. Every one of those politician has gone out gone under oath and lied through their teeth at one point or one time you got to admit, yeah, more than likely, I think we take that under oath to heart more than they do. And they are representing our country. It’s pretty pathetic.

So are you saying it’s a good thing he fessed up to getting information from social media. Well, I

mean, it just proves he’s an idiot. More than then than we already know.

At least he didn’t lie, I guess,

I guess. But, yeah. Was there any comment about like, did he? I guess, was there any fallout from it? For him saying that he got that? Did someone you know, I don’t know where he said that either. If it was, if it was more, just he wrote it on Facebook that he said that or if it was actually in

No, it was as he was giving testimony during a court trial. But what was

the response from like the attorney from the other side? And he’d be like, what? If you don’t know it’s fine. You don’t want to dig through it, but

I don’t know. But the the lawsuit that I’m talking about is one that was brought forward by dominion, which is the voting system. Yes. So Giuliani and Trump’s team, they sued dominion over election fraud, and they sued a certain employee, Eric Coomer. But in the deposition, he said that some of his evidence was based on social media posts. So the essentially the review of all of the documents okay admitted That his evidence was based on social media which is in that he did not verify claims before naming Eric Coomer in a press conference else so he didn’t really validate or confirm that this Eric guy was even part of anything shady he just

heard it in the name and just regurgitating regurgitating it in a press conference he representing himself in this case because I feel like he needs an attorney because he’s gonna go down he’s gonna lose that lawsuit big time

Yeah, I don’t know if he’s being represented I would assume he he must be

but anyways yeah, what an idiot huh?

It’s crazy.

Two things are one thing I won’t bring up the second one because it’s not as impactful but I learned that you can have trouble getting life insurance if you have mental health issues, which makes sense and when I read this it made me think back now I have life insurance and I got it a long time ago in fact I’m probably on the back end of my policy and basically life insurance is to get you till your kids are out of the house then you really don’t need it right because your kids are taken care of like if you know right now if if one of you die you need to kind of replace that income because otherwise you I mean there’s some big changes and so usually it’s a 20 year policy and like said mine I think I got nine or eight years left of mine and then I’m done. I’m done. But I do remember my financial advisor Dave, who’s been on the show wanted to get me into another policy but the medication I was on he’s like Ooh, this company won’t touch you with that I was like wow that’s interesting so I brought up this article I got it from Reddit Of course, but I it from a psychology solutions LLC, so he’s a doctor he’s a psychologist, but it’s a cautious about paying for psychology therapy with medical insurance so it kind of goes through you’ll lose some privacy y’all troubled kidding you know disability or life insurance you may lose some control of your therapy you confuse the relationship and you may not get the therapist you need so it was kind of an interesting article that he it basically sounds like he doesn’t want to deal with the insurance company wants you to pay cash Yeah, but it does it does bring up a good point for sure that you have a third party involved in your care because they have to diagnose they have to give you a diagnosis to get coverage and those kinds of things but just something to think about well I’ll link this up for in the show notes but because we pay cash Mike and I both pay cash not by choice but we found a great therapist and they’re not working with our insurance company anymore but just something to think about if you’re if you want to get life insurance you may not want to go through insurance you may want to just do out of pocket and then no one needs to know it’s between you and the therapist

so interesting

yeah cuz no one will know that right? You I mean really once you once you file a claim for mental health insurance it becomes kind of becomes everyone gets to know I mean some privacy he brought up but I never thought about that it’s in the system you know that you have mental health so that no matter where you go your medical history it’s in there Yeah, I mean I don’t care doesn’t bother me but someone might be bothered by that or I don’t know Hmm So interesting I guess yeah, I guess if you’re even worried about your workplace right knowing just go pay cash for it like no one needs to know Yeah, I mean, I guess it’s kind of pushing it’s not a good thing because you know the stigma we’re trying to exactly that but I can see you know, the military or something like that if you go to your Sergeant they’re going to take you off duty Yeah. So

yeah, I’ve felt that pressure of not wanting to tell work and just letting it be a separate thing but again, that’s what we’re trying to fight against here. So I see both sides of the I do the issue.

And I totally get why coming into new job you wouldn’t want to announce that. I mean, I don’t think my my boss knows I go see a therapist. I’m not hiding it, but it just never came up in discussion,

right? Like something you just go to your boss and be like, Hey, I go to therapy every Monday but you did. I did. That’s what you did though. That’s again, it wasn’t my first nature second nature whatever I just did it well, it wasn’t normal.

I mean, he would have found out anyways because you could have said because it’s during your workday, right? So you have to tell you but like I tell my boss when I go, I just say I’m going to the doctor. I sent him an email but if I said I’m going to the doctor every Monday at four I mean it’s obvious what you’re doing you might as well just tell the truth that that exactly. So guys, thank you so much for listening to threads podcast. If you’d like to support the show, go to buy me a coffee, comm slash threads podcast buy me a copy comm slash threads podcast. There you can sign up for a membership of every month or you can do a one time buy a coffee or two time buy a coffee or a million time buying coffee. Any of those things can help support at Fred’s podcast, so it’s finding a copy comm slash threads podcast. Also, we’d love for you to sign up for our newsletter. If you go to threads podcast, comm slash newsletter or just search the newsletter on our website, you can put your email address in there and Ben just loves to do the newsletter and he would love I love to send you a newsletter so if you can go to threads podcast, comm slash newsletter or again go to the threads podcast comm and search the word newsletter. Also I’d love for you to hear about our production company, Ben and I and our partner Yes, Bert, which we mentioned I think on the last show of a company called Hey guys Media Group. Hey guys Media Group is a full scale production company for podcasts. We can help you start your podcast, edit your podcast, live stream, your podcasts, anything podcast related, we can help you we love to hear about your story hear about your podcast and bring your idea to the world The world needs to hear about Lego building the world needs to hear about sand sculpting. I don’t know whatever it is go to Hey guys, media and click start here or fill out a contact form or send me a Facebook message. Whatever you need to do whatever you want to do. Check this out. Hey guys, video Alright, back to the show.

Anyways, the long segment of something you learned we’re gonna jump into a quick a little bit of faith talk and and then we’re going to do ask each other a question. And then mental health update. Wow, we are we got a lot to get to. But it’s good. It’s good stuff. So what do you want to do with this? What does keep the faith mean to us? so

well? What’s the tagline? Oh, Jason,

no, gosh. Keep the Faith do your work and live life. unfilter There

you go. So we started doing this tagline probably about a month ago. And a couple people have responded and then Ben like, sent you guys his tagline. Now that’s pretty cool. We had one person who will rename remain nameless, just kidding, Mike, who kind of tore into it a little bit. And Jason and I really like the Keep the Faith phrase. And so we figured we would just talk about it a little bit here. And what does it mean to each of us? Why is it in our tagline? And what are we not trying to say with it? Because I think when some people here keep the face, they may not think of what we think of they might think of something like Mike said, like right wing, Trumpy people saying keep the faith to me that never really never understood that I don’t think I’ve encountered people that are right wing that say keep the faith.

Yeah, never in my church experience growing up, someone said, Hey, man, keep the faith. I see that more and like, I don’t know, like a bro like hippie guy, like, man, keep the faith. You know what I mean? I’ve never had a Christian come up to me and say that. So I don’t know where my god that I mean, I understand a little bit where he’s coming from. But keep the faith can mean a whole bunch of stuff, keep the faith that you’re going to lose weight, keep the faith that you’re going to finish that you know that job that you’re working on. And it also can mean keep the faith of whatever your religion is, whether you’re Buddhists or Muslim, or Christian or whatever it doesn’t, it doesn’t really matter what that means. So we just want people to know, which is we’re not a Christian podcast, I think you can kind of get that. But we’re not a Christian podcast, keep the faith means just keep the faith in whatever you’re doing. Be faithful to your tasks, your goals and those kinds of things.

Yeah. And the phrase keep the faith was actually a saying that came out of the civil rights movement. No, he did it. People like Martin Luther King, as they’re encountering the racism of their day. That was one of the phrases that they shared with each other. That Yeah, this sucks, like, in our own country, we are segregated and we are mistreated because of our race. And for so many of those African Americans, their faith was so central to their life that yes, as they’re being persecuted for being black, which is awful. Their encouragement to one another was keep the faith. And so I learned that because I googled it when we were thinking of the tagline I was like, What Wasn’t even come from. But that’s where it has its roots. That’s kind of where it picked up steam and became a phrase that we know today. Again, kind of a countercultural hippie kind of thing to say. And that’s very much in line with what we want to encourage you as our listeners to do. Keep the Faith like you got this, you can finish this task or this goal that you’ve committed yourself to keep the faith that you can do it, because you can. So that’s what we mean when we say keep the faith.

Yeah, whatever. You’re being faithful to your wife, your church, your God, whatever, it’s a general, just keep the faith

Yeah, no matter what you’re going through, clearly, hopefully, you’re not being persecuted or treated poorly, like the blacks during the civil rights era were but whatever resistance you may be coming up against, keep the face like, even if it’s hard, keep the face even if you feel like quitting. Keep the face, right, that’s what we’re getting at.

And the second one is do your work. And so what is do your work mean? I think it’s a Bernie brown thing, but I’ve heard it before, but she talks about doing your work. And what that means is do your work about with your mental health. That’s what we believe it’s about, make sure you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing to make sure you’re not cuckoo bananas, you know, whether that be self care, going to your therapist, talking to your wife, whatever, just do the work that you’re supposed to do. We all know, we know people in our lives that aren’t doing the work. And we in turn, probably don’t do our work when we’re supposed to sometimes as well. But that’s what we mean by doing your work. Yeah, at least that’s what I mean. thoughts from you from that?

Yeah, I’m very much in agreement with that. Don’t just coast through life, ignoring like I did for so long, ignoring the, the pain, ignoring the the inability to make sense of your life, or the trauma you’ve been through, or the crises that you’ve walked through, don’t just coast through life and be like, Well, that’s it is what it is, I think, do your work is the opposite of it is what it is. Yeah, it’s choosing to dig in. So when we say do your work, that’s what we’re saying. Don’t just let it be it is what it is really dig in and take care of stuff.

I don’t remember exactly what the tick tock said, I bet I wonder if you could search our audio and how many times we say Tick Tock. Right. But it was something like the guy said, stay away from people that say it is what it is. And I found myself I do say that in the last week or two after that Tick tock, and I don’t remember what his reasoning was. But it was something to be like, they don’t care enough. And they’re not doing what they’re supposed to be doing. They’re not doing their work. But I find myself a lot of people say that phrase they Yeah, and I don’t. And I don’t know if they actually mean it is what it is. There’s nothing you can do about it. But sometimes it does apply it does. You know, like, if you didn’t want President Biden to be president, he is it is what it is. You did what you can you voted for Trump. Exactly. I think that applies there. But when they’re talking about like, well, this person is mad at me. I’m like, wow, that’s what it is. Yeah, that is where you’re not doing your work like that got to figure out why they’re mad. And if you did something wrong and repair that,

or if you’re like me, and during the fall and winter season, your mood just kind of plateaus a little bit. In the past, I would just look at that and be like, yeah, it is what it is. Yeah, instead of doing the work to feel better, instead of going for a walk or sitting in front of my sad lamp, like taking care of mice, that’s

a great example of it is what it is like, No, you can do your things, you’re just too lazy to do it. You don’t care. And then that’s a separate problem. Like if you can even muster up some energy to do a couple of things to improve yourself, then we got bigger problems. Exactly. And then the last part is live life on filter that doesn’t need to be I mean, I guess it should have a little explanation. I mean, I live my life a little unfiltered different than Ben does. And Mike and whoever, you know, you know, I might drop an F bomb in the grocery store and vanwall you know, so that’s a little bit more unfiltered and but it but it’s just basically saying Don’t be fake. Just tell people how you feel in a respectful manner, of course. But yeah, live life

unfiltered. Yeah, be direct and Don’t beat around the bush. Perfect. Just say it. Alright, well, now that we’ve talked about our tagline, we’re going to take a minute and just do something a little different. And we each have a question that we are going to ask the other person. We have no preparation for this. Jason doesn’t know a question. I’m gonna ask him. I don’t know what Jason’s gonna ask. So, Jay asyn Fire away.

No, I’m gonna let you go first. But it’s not new. We’ve done this for six, seven weeks, haven’t we?

Um, maybe. I mean, feels new still, doesn’t you?

I want you to go first. All right.

When is the last time you felt uncomfortable? Because we talked about how on threads we want to talk about uncomfortable things. So when’s the last time you felt on?

I mean, I’ve been in the toilet like six times today because of the food I ate yesterday. I mean, if

All right, I’ll take that. Yeah.

No, um, it probably was with Katie. Yeah, I mean, it was, it was really like, I was just like, I mean, it’s See, you can be uncomfortable in so many different ways. Like that’s like, ooh, like, you’re just feeling like a or you can be uncomfortable because there’s someone walking up behind you. But I would say that was probably it. I did about a week ago, ran early in the morning. I’ve been running on Saturdays early to, like I leave it between six and 630. So it’s headlamp. Yeah, it’s dark. So I run on the trail and the dark, no light,

oh, boy, pitch black and the clowns jump out at you

know, but so last, just yesterday, we’re recording this on Sunday. It took four and a half miles before I saw my first person on that trail. But the week before the second I got on there some guy walk in with a backpack on and it’s like, Okay, I’m so there’s so many different levels of being uncomfortable, but I don’t know. I mean, other than the KT thing. I it’s hard for me to. I don’t get uncomfortable. Yeah. And I’ve noticed that about you. I don’t really nothing doesn’t really, I mean, things bother me. And I’m annoyed all the time. I’m annoying that stuff. But being uncomfortable. doesn’t happen very often. Yeah. What about you?

You’re putting the question back on me.

Is that against the rule? I guess you can, if you have something said If not, then let’s move on.

I would say last night, I was doing my Uber driving, I do it like once every six weeks lately. It’s just kind of a fun hobby thing that I like to do. I drove by Speedway at Plainfield in 96. And they were closed because they closed at like 11. But there’s this gentleman on the sidewalk next to Speedway just sitting next to the building clearly passed out. And I just felt like, should I like stop and call somebody call 911? Or maybe should I just go and see if he’s okay. So I felt uncomfortable in that moment. Because it’s like, What do I do? Well, I just kept driving, I didn’t do anything.

If he looked passed out, I may have turned

in he might have just been sleeping. But

that’s not a common. I mean, so that hotel across the street can be sketchy it is I mean, I’ve I’ve picked people up there for concerts and stuff, so it’s a cheap place to stay. So maybe it’s related to that. Now if I saw some guy just kind of sitting there and I would have drove by but if I was like that dude’s like passed out I might stop but I’m not judging you for it by any means. I also may have rolled by

Yeah. I drove by to throw something away in the trash can and that’s when I saw yours actually stopped at the park in ish I mean just to throw my trash away. Okay, and then I kept going, but I definitely wasn’t uncomfortable. It was like, Huh, because as we all know, I’ve shared stories before how impulsive I can be Yes, and I’m trying to rein that in but at the same time it’s like should I have called the police?

I don’t know I would have been like, bro You good? And if he would have been like, good or whatever, and like okay, clearly shit face. I’m like, Alright man. Take care, right? I mean, I wouldn’t have scooped him up and done anything but if I was at bro, you good and he didn’t move. And I would have done it again and got louder and he didn’t move. Yeah, I may have like gone over there. But I may have drove by too. So no judgement here. It’s funny you bring up Uber driving because that is my question for you might is a little bit deeper. So we’ve heard over the last six weeks of how you’ve been just busy and just not having me and the last time I heard about cat hammock time was probably in the spring. Yeah for you. So it’s just been a common theme privately and on the show and you send me a message like last night that you out rideshare driving and I’m like, What is going on? you’re complaining about not having time your home? I think your wife and daughter were gone at that moment or on their way home. But why are you Why are you going out to drive like Why aren’t you taking that time for yourself to do whatever you want to do?

What That’s what I wanted to do. But it’s almost like

I feel like you’re making yourself busy to avoid something else. That’s what see you have changed in the last like three or four months. Because again, we are friends and we record podcasts. And that’s what I’m keying in on. I remember the band that backyard stuff, and yeah, relaxing was a priority. Yeah. And now it’s not. Yeah, so that’s why I’m wondering when you sent me that message. I actually didn’t respond back because I was half asleep in bed. I think it was like, I literally went to bed at like, 930 I think you said at 936. So I was laying in bed. I was like, I’m not I’m just too tired. I don’t know why I just didn’t say Oh, have fun. But anyways, that’s kind of a dick move on my end, but

it’s fine.

I yeah, I’m just very confused on why you’re trying to fill your time. So I guess I don’t know what my question is.

Why did I go out and drive last night? Yeah, in general.

That’s, that’s what triggered it in my head. Because to me, if I finish this accomplishment, I mean, I can’t wait to now again, I’m the one that always likes to stay busy. So you’ve kind of flipped the script. So I guess if I went from the opposite way, you’d be like, why are you not doing anything, but I would just be like, I’m staying home. I’m not doing anything. And I get you enjoy that. I do understand that. But it still takes you out of the hole does. So

yeah, I think there’s a couple of layers here. The first is financial. We’re not in dire straits by any means. But I mentioned the cutting out Starbucks. Our pastor preached about the 8020 concept of 10% of your income, give it to the church, the other 10% save the 80% that’s what you budget with. We’re doing good with the giving the 10% to the church, it’s this 10% to savings. Like it’s just always such a battle for me. So part of the reason why I went out last night was to aid in that savings like Okay, do ride share. Well, that will be our savings money, the goal that we are setting, that’ll be a tool to increase some savings. So sweet. That sounds good. And then I think there’s also a biological component to, to where, after doing so many rides on my bike, like 400 plus miles in the month of September, that does something to your brain, like it releases the endorphins and the dopamine you feel good when you’re out pedaling and moving and even though I was sore and still am. There’s just that it’s almost like the runner’s high it’s like it just feels so good. Yeah, so I think that’s another part of it is rideshare driving I think has some similar impact of it’s it’s an adventure it releases some dope I mean, I’m you know, it’s exciting. There’s limited camaraderie back in the day, people would talk all night long on telegram now it’s like pretty quiet after 10 o’clock. Yeah, so that was definitely missing but generally speaking, it’s like kind of a rush thing to do like it kind of makes it just makes me feel good to go out and ride share drive. So I think I was chasing that high that I was getting from the bike and I’m not biking now to that level. And so I think that’s what drew me out. But you’re 100% right, like I am not the band who would go chill in the backyard for an hour in the hammock? Wait I think I did that maybe three times the entire summer Yeah, and that’s crazy. Yeah. And I even had like this great setup outside on the patio that honestly I haven’t really enjoyed as much as I wish I did and so it’s just like huh that’s interesting.

Yeah, it’s more of an observation that you’re not because I’m like you I fill my day with everything I mean if you look at my backyard there a shit out there you know why cuz I don’t sit on the deck like I barely go into my wife made this awesome they would call it the sunroom Yeah, you don’t sit out there in the winter because it’s cold right? So it’s like a spring summer fall. I don’t sit out there in the summer because it’s hot. You know what I mean? And I worked all day in it but I always keep busy so just for you to go from like not that you were It has nothing to do with you not doing being productive you were just you took your focus on making sure that you had that time just chill which I was always jealous of because I couldn’t sit still for five minutes to do that. But it just observation and maybe I don’t know maybe you didn’t notice it and you’re you know, this will help noticing it but it also makes me think and and I’m sure I’m right. But that you you’re you’re trying to beat something away. And it makes me think about therapy because you’re not going to therapy anymore so I have to bring that up not as a cut but just like I’m going to be hyper vigilant on focusing on if you’re slipping not because I think I want to catch you slipping but I don’t want you to this is my job as a friend I think is in in I hope you do the same to me like Hey, man, this is this seems weird, like what’s going on? Like, tell me about it? Yeah. Just just not an accountability but just as a friend be like, you’re not spend the time that you used to do by yourself. What’s up?

Yeah, well, September, I was losing my goal. Yeah, well,

September, but still, you just said three times this summer. You didn’t you sat in there three times this summer. And and yeah, you were still biking. But your mileage was like 100 a month? Yeah, ish. So in some months, so I’m just saying what’s what’s going on? That’s all and well, we also took vacation, which was all kicked back. Yeah. As part. So just throwing it out there. Yeah. It’s not an accusation thing. It’s just I noticed something different that I, that I, you know, usually, you know what I mean? Yeah.

I don’t think I’m stuffing anything or avoiding anything.

That’s an alcoholic says, oh, by the way, right? Yeah, I don’t drink a problem.

Whatever. If I, if I had a paper cut, or if I scraped up my knee, or if I somehow cut my finger, as I was chopping food up for dinner, whatever, yeah. Would you tell me to go get surgery? Or would you tell me to go take care of that little womb? Like put a bandaid on it? clean it out? Whatever.

Um, if you told me that it happened.

Or if you if I watched it happen, yeah. Or if you saw it happen, or if I told you, I’d be like,

Dude, that looks pretty bad. You should probably get stitches or I’d be like, oh, it doesn’t look so bad. Just put a bandaid on, you’d be good,

right? And I feel like sometimes your go to is got to go to therapy. And therapy, in my mind is very good and very necessary. But it’s also kind of, it’s kind of the equivalent of like, surgery. So if I have a paper cut, I’m not going to go see a surgeon, I’m going to clean out the wound. Yep, put a bandaid on it. Maybe put some hydrocortisone on it, whatever the case may be, but I don’t need to go see a surgeon right or a doctor. And so while I very much appreciate your concern, I’m just saying therapy doesn’t have to be the end all be all answer if I’m having a down day.

Correct. But therapy is more like if you have a broken leg and you need therapy. So you still need to go to a doctor a couple of times so it’s not like an acute thing. It’s more of a chronic thing. Right? So I understand your your relationship to getting a cut. Yeah, exactly. You don’t run to your therapist if you have a bad day. Yeah, but if you having underlying issues and over a span of time if you see yourself slipping, which a lot of people don’t see themselves writing their friends, their loved ones and like you’re slipping then I think it’s like wow, I’m slipping not that you are I’m just noticing the change in your habit. It’s time to you know dig thing and I share my personal opinion and I wish Mike was here. And I think he would agree although he probably wouldn’t he up 99% of time his team Ben but I think you still have issues that you need to work through.

You should ask Mike because he and I talked about it actually. Oh did you dental larious and he was on Team Ben so yeah,

interesting. Well, I think you do I know you better than Mike does. I mean he’s been around for

my wife knows me better than you do. Yeah, she’s not she’s team Ben on this one

team Ben two I’m I’m talking about it because I am team Ben if I wasn’t team Ben, I wouldn’t talk about it. Yeah, I mean, I’m I’m totally I respect everything that you want to do. But I’m just saying I feel like you have other things cooking. I mean, I think I’ll be a lifer on therapy. Obviously I had the trauma and the back or the early end of my life. But yeah, that’s just this question turned into something a lot more but my point is, I noticed you working a lot doing a lot. complaining about it a lot. And then going out rideshare driving when you had your free night of this any known I mean was stuff on home or not.

He was with

a friend. Exactly. You had the whole the whole house just to be like I would I die for that. There was a day last two weeks ago. I think it was a rain day and everyone was gone in the house. Like we haven’t had a lot of rain days this year for work. I’m like, this is glorious night. I didn’t do anything. So I was just surprised that you went out and worked. But I understand. I get it you have that you like to do that kind of stuff and it kind of gives you that rush and then does earning money and not knowing how much you’re going to earn. Yeah,

please. Oh, yeah,

I missed that rush. I’m not gonna lie. Yeah, I don’t get it when I do a gig full time because it’s a drag, because this is my full time job at that point.

Yeah. And I think one of the things that shows me that I’m doing okay, mentally, is the fact that I started feeling tired. And so I’m like, Yeah, I think I’ll just go home now where before the band who didn’t take good care of himself, good point, you would grind so long to till four or five in the morning. Like I went home before the bars closed. And I sat and I did my puzzle because everybody’s asleep. This is glorious. I chilled in my office and worked on the puzzle in the dark. Yeah, with my, my desk light on Yeah, headlamp should try that. So I hear what you’re saying. And I appreciate your concern. But I think in this season of life, I need to, I need to be my own therapist in you know, weird way I need to be the one that’s doing that work and making sure that I’m, you know, doing the things that keep me sane, and mentally healthy. I have the full ability to do those things, if I stopped doing those things, and yeah, that’s the agreement I have with my wife to like, if I get to a point where I can’t pull myself out, or if I’m just so far gone, and just really down. I’m calling Shawn and we’re again back on the calendar. Yeah, cuz

before therapy. I remember you just having these huge hills and valleys in there. And it did level out. Like I do notice a difference. But I think there’s it’s twofold, right? It’s making sure you’re doing the self care. But if are there issues that you have that you haven’t dealt with? And you’re just waiting on? Like, that’s, that’s my feeling. I feel like there is

I don’t think there are no 100% honest. Well, I

mean, it’s your it’s your thing. I mean, I can only take you for for your word. I just feel like, I don’t know. Maybe I’m way off base. But yeah, I appreciate

the concern. 100% Yeah,

it’s it’s more I’m more thinking about, I know you can do that self care stuff. I totally do it to keep yourself level and not in those valleys. I just thinking about, I just feel like you have unfinished business in therapy. I don’t know, that’s just my two cents. I talked to you a lot, especially on the podcast we’ve recorded. I mean, let’s just say for average, 150 hours of content, plus or minus? I just, I don’t know. Just that’s my gut feeling. So that was a long question. We really don’t need to talk about mental health. We just did that was you at least for mine? I think I’ll just touch on it. Again, the saga continues with EMDR. I’ve finally and I don’t know did I talk about it on the last show? You’re going to do it. But Didn’t I say that my therapist wanted us to get another counselor or therapist for wired together stuff. Yes. And I talked to Megan about it. And she was not a fan. And so not that she made me make this decision because I was kind of not a fan either. Because it’s like you got to retell your story to some person. You don’t I mean, that causes a ton of anks. And she was not all about it. So I think I’m doing okay, personally right now. Okay. So we’re gonna continue to pause the EMDR and work on just her and I. So I go every other week, and then it might be just a single session with me or with with Megan because I think right now we have got this momentum. And I don’t want it to stop Sure. You know what I mean? Like I were trying to create a habit. So future, I mean, this month is our 15th wedding anniversary. So I mean, it’s, that’s a lot of years. And this is the first time we’ve actually spent intentional time for each other. So I go good, I can’t stop that momentum.

I can’t, I 100% support you. And I

appreciate that. It’s just it’s got to be what it is. And maybe we’ll reevaluate in the spring but her and I are doing great right now I don’t think we’re to the point. And Megan brought up a good point. If you start EMDR and you have to do some shit. If we’re not good, it’s going to be trouble. So six months from now if we’re things are like still continuing, I think I’d be more comfortable switch it out and have to do it so I totally agreed with her. It makes a lot of sense and it helps because I’m a little nervous about doing it. So it kind of gives me an excuse to push it down the road which I have for years. Nice but anything else you want to touch on for you

I’m looking forward to going home and taking out my sad lamp seasonal affective disorder. Why is just so great,

I got to find mine to literally the cord is still plugged in down there from last winter. I put it away somewhere in the shit show, so I have to dig it out and find it.

So I’m excited to put it on my puzzle table, honestly, yeah, I can just sit and do a puzzle. And enjoy the light like it really like I can feel it in a weird way in my brain. It just things start firing the way they’re supposed to be.

Yeah, I think it’s twofold. I think it’s what do they call a placebo? Yeah, I think that’s part of it. But I think it does. It does that it’s like you’re you’re doing some self care that’s already doing that self care, whatever it is, is already like a dopamine hit anyway, yeah, that helps. But then the light also helps to

mimics the light of the sun. And like I said, biking so many times this summer. Being in the sun was amazing. Yeah, I’m

in the sun every day. I don’t definitely need a sad lamp until like, it’s like December. Yeah.

But nice. So that’s where I’m at just dealing with the seasonal blondes, but I’m dealing with them. It’s not like previous years where I would just be down for days. And then yeah, think about it. So yeah,

I’m, I’m I’m excited to, you know, I’m glad you’re back in the game is sort of like self care. I’m actually I’m a little jealous of that. And I hope it continues because like I said, you did the self care great in the spring, and then it kind of went away. So I’m here to help. So I don’t want you to think that I was I’m trying to like, bust your balls about it. I

blame Mike. He’s the one that chain that challenged me with the 800 miles. So it’s Mike’s fault.

But sometimes you kind of you kind of want somebody to do that, right? Yeah. Thinking in your head like, or you have this. This is what men do, right? You get challenged, you’re like I can frickin do that. I

totally and I told so many people that I was gonna do these damn 800 miles. Yeah. And then you’re like, Oh, shit. So I think honestly, that’s probably the biggest motivator behind the change you’ve seen is me realizing the gravity of my commitment, and oh, I have to do this. Yeah,

I slacked off not slack. It life happened, life got in the way. It is your motivation was down. It was balls, hot, whatever it is. And but you did it. So.

But I think if there’s anything about me that changed, that’s it right there. Like I said, I’m going to do it. So I’m going to do it. Because there’s been too many times in my life. And you probably notice to where I’ve said I do something, and then I don’t need to man, and I’m just at a point where I’m fed up with that. So I said I’m gonna do these 800 miles. So at whatever cost, I’m doing them. And now I’m on the tail end of that and feeling it.

Yeah, well, time to recover time to recalibrate, figure out what you want to do next and move on.

Yeah, somebody asked me what my next goal was on Facebook and I just typed one word, rest.

Yeah. I think we should go walk the Appalachian Trail. I’m trying to. I’m trying to tease Ben’s Ben’s senses. I’m trying to I don’t know I have after races. interview, I got spired a little bit. I’ve been looking Appalachian Trail trips. And I’m like, it’s a big, it’s like not the whole one. But even like this, the section off to another like God takes about 28 days or 30 days. I’m like, Oh my gosh, can I do this in the winter? Because you can’t. A lot of it snows in and I don’t know. But anyways, so what’s your takeaway for the day? The show if you have one otherwise?

No, my takeaway is I, you talked about gut reaction or gut feelings about my therapy. When I saw you weren’t doing EMDR. And I didn’t have the context of that my gut reaction was, seriously, you’re putting it off again? What the hell right as I read the rundown, but as you explained it, and as you put into perspective, the fact that you need your relationship with Megan to be strong. Yeah, before you go into that. It was like, Oh, that makes complete and total sense. So that’s my takeaway. Don’t just assume things because I was really concerned when I saw you put it off again, right, going on.

And, and transparency i and i said earlier, I’m terrified of it. I’m actually terrified of it. And I know it will be good. I’m terrified that I’m not going to do it right. And I have to take control away from myself. I like to be in control really was EMDR but so as I’m doing EMDR you take that away, but guess my takeaway I was surprised about you at Kingman is it kingman’s Ching mas Qing mas that you did that it just that’s something that I would do and even you saying whatever even though you didn’t throw a scene that’s saying something when you say whatever because like I’m sure it wasn’t in this tone like it was probably sold out

whenever I looked in the eye and I just said whatever

oh man see that’s that’s something that I would do. I’m shocked that you I’m more shocked that you did that then calling out the person that caught you know what I mean? Because I everyone deserves to be called out if they can’t. If they did, they didn’t deserve it, but you thought they did. But guys, I really appreciate you listening to the show. And as always, keep the faith do your work and live life on filter. See


Transcribed by

Share this!