Transcription #146

Hi guys, welcome to threads, podcast life unfiltered. Thank you so much for listening to the show, wherever you are, whatever it is, this is Episode 146 personal format before we do that Ben’s gonna do a super short intro to threads. And we’ll get right into an icebreaker and then our personal update.

I swear one of these days I’m going to write something really dumb in the personal format and the show plan. She just read it word for word.

Someone. Yeah, well, it actually centers me. You know what advice I don’t get off the rails. But yeah, I did that time I did read a pretty word for word.

I’m gonna throw something in there. Just like I’m Ron Burgundy. I

read whatever’s on the teleprompter.

Nice. That’s from that one movie. anchorman that there it is. I was trying to say weatherman right now

anchorman to. But he was he was not the weatherman. No, as an anchorman. Yeah, that’s the name of the movie. Got it? sheltered.

I never watched it. Oh, I know. Well, that’s the intro to today’s episode, apparently. But no, today, we are sitting down for a personal format. And on those, we think it’s important to just kind of recalibrate and just catch up on how life is going. The threads podcast is all about life, and living life in an unfiltered way, being true to ourselves and being true to those around us. And this is a chance for Jason and I to talk about things that sometimes are uncomfortable to talk about whether that’s faith, mental health, or other uncomfortable conversations, and I just did it again. I put faith in there first. It’s like just rolls off the tongue that

it is I think it’s just this because it’s a shorter word. I don’t know. Yeah.

So we’re trying to make this not be like a Christian podcast, even though we have Christians on here often. And we do talk about faith. Yeah, it’s not the end all be all of the show. No. So. So that’s where we’re headed. Tonight, you’ll hear from us on all of those aspects, little bit of faith sprinkled in, obviously, some mental health, and some things that were challenging for us in the last few weeks, we’ll get to touch base about here. With that we’ll jump into today’s icebreaker. And it’s one that we’ve done often. And I just think it’s a good one because it helps us kind of get a feel for where we’re at how the day is gone. How the week has been. And the question is, how are you showing up tonight? Do you like to go first?

I would but it’s 245 in the afternoon so

up in my head. I’m like at six o’clock. Yeah. gearing up for tonight.

Okay, now I’m doing good. It’s been a busy week, a hellish week, just a lot moving parts. Like I talked to Ben, earlier this week that it seems like the short weeks are worse than the regular weeks coming back from vacation and stuff. And so it just been a long week. But uh, yeah, busy. Other than that, I don’t really have anything breaking that is making my day terrible. went for a bike ride this morning bike bike ride. I went paddling this morning. We’ll talk about that a little bit later. It was good. It was good. I was pretty sweaty. I took my helmet off, and I was my hair was drenched. So. But yeah, how about you? Are you showing up this afternoon at 246?

Well, before I get there, I have to make a confession. Sometimes I don’t wear my helmet when I bike.

Got to do it, man. I know you’re going across the street or something and someone you’re going to you’re going to look and you think it’s clear. And then there’s going to be a car there. You don’t have to be sorry to me. Just be sorry. You know, when you’re dead and your family comes to me and said why don’t you tell Ben to wear a helmet? I said I did so I can sleep well tonight.

Yeah. Okay, so you can just wipe that responsibility off.

Yeah, well, there’s already gone. Perfect. Well, I

am showing up. excited about today. But also like Jason just felt like there was so much that was crammed into the four days of this week. We had labor day off, which was awesome. Had a great day to kick back. But man Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. They just went by so quick. They were full to the brim of activity of things to do have arguments of everything. And just feeling it. So I’m excited about the show. I’m excited about what I have going on later tonight, which I’ll get to I’m sure. So I’m excited but I’m also just kind of like frazzled, almost crazy. I don’t know, like getting up at four, five in the morning on a Saturday. It was rough.

Yeah, all this stuff like I had all fun stuff this week. It’s just, it’s just busy. You know, I’m not complaining about it. It’s just, I’m calling about complaining about the earlier the week. But most of so for that I’m busy with that stuff that I don’t mind doing. It just seemed like it was all jammed up. Yes.

And one thing that I’ve always told my kids and I’m really having to tell myself now is too much of a good thing. It’s not always good. That’s Sure. So I’m really feeling that

except cookies. Well, no, it’s not good because you get sick and fat. But anyways, so we’re jumping in the personal update, I have a couple of things to touch on. One of the new connection I formed was matsa new people at our gig economy, podcast picnic. If you aren’t gig worker and you’re listening to this, you should check that one out. Chances are less than 1%. That’s probably any of you but you never know. So yeah, we had a picnic. It’s our third annual and had a couple people show up. We had one guy drive from Detroit. never talked to him in our lives. And his name was Omar, and he was really quiet. You know, I’m such an extrovert. So he probably didn’t like that. But, but so he came out and I thought, Oh my gosh, that’s cool. So talk to him just a little bit. And then another person Grand Rapids, I didn’t know came out. So that was really cool. Just nice to meet new people. And sometimes when has been an I have talked about you don’t get a lot of feedback on podcasts. And so it’s nice to like, see people that hey, I like your show. I’ve listened for two years you have sent a tweet, or send an email like let me know you enjoy like two years. Wow. That’s great. I know that no, it’s crazy. So that was really good.

Well, I had a new connection, a couple of them actually. So as you probably picked up on from previous shows, and this summer, I’ve been really hyper focused on getting 800 miles of cycling, or bike rides logged. And in my pursuit to do that I’ve enlisted some people from church. There’s a life group that they did a they called themselves Tria, which is triathlon as you are. And they all did a triathlon, just like people that you would never expect to do a triathlon, we’re meeting for a small group and training and they did a triathlon together. One of those guys His name is Patrick. He lost like 100 pounds over the course of a year. A year. Yeah. Like, gosh, like, what? This guy’s crazy. So I mean, crazy, in a good way. Yeah, he’s able to really hyper focus on his diet. And he’s like, Yeah, do you like cut out sugar and processed this and that and, and I’m just like, you are the epitome of what I want to be. But I am nowhere near where you are in your discipline.

That’s rare, though. Yeah. I mean, that’s super rare when you got people like, you know, that are hyper focus enabled to do that. It’s more common, where we’re at, like, we’re slowly losing weight we’re trying to get but it’s not like we’re hyper focused, right?

Yeah. So and it will be interesting to see, you know, how Patrick sticks with it over the course of the next five years. Yeah. But at any rate, so I didn’t really know Patrick, I put a post in our churches Facebook group and said, Hey, I’m going for a ride. Anybody want to join? Patrick was like, Yeah, man, let’s go. So we met at canal Park. And I took my bike off of my bike rack and set it on the sidewalk. 10 feet away. And then Patrick’s like, Hey, can you come take a look at my bike? Something’s making some noise. I was like, Oh, of course. So I turned my back from my bike on the sidewalk. And I walked over to the other end of my car. I mean, that’s how close I am. Yeah. And turn my back to my bike and help Patrick fix this little metal jangling piece on his bike, and got him set. I stand up, I walk over to the sidewalk. My bike is gone. So how much time a minute? Whoa, a minute. Like, it was just, uh, I was trying to identify what this piece of metal was. And I figured out it was like, a plate you can hook a trailer into if you wanted to. He was worried because it was jangling I was like, don’t worry about it. It’s not an essential component. You’re good. So in that minute, it took me to identify what it was. And that it was no big issue. Somebody took my bike.

How did you not hear somebody? Like I mean those

tiny How did I not here? You’re wearing hearing aids.

I know. I know. I’m not blaming you by any means. But I’m like those tears are loud. I remember riding with you. It’s like the when you see a truck with those big wires.

Oh, yeah. And Patrick, we were completely oblivious. And so I looked over to Patrick. I was like, somebody just stole my bike. It’s like, what? Like, yeah, it’s it’s gone. So we hopped in my car. And again, I don’t really know, Patrick. I mean, I was on stage with him doing an announcement for life groups. And he was sharing his story in that context. So I was basically interviewing him. But that’s all I know of him was this life group. Yeah. And so to be in the car in a very stressful moment, because somebody just stole my damn bike, right? I’m really trying not to say anything inappropriate. Cuz I don’t know where he’s at on the wavelength, like, you

don’t want to drop in.

Well, I think he finally cost and I was like, Okay, I’m in good company. We can use we can we can express our frustration and not feel bad about it. Okay. So that was definitely one of those social moments of is it appropriate, right? really say how I’m feeling right now. So we’re driving around awkwardly, most of its just quiet. And we’re just looking downtown looking for the bike. And then, like, whoever has it is just long gone by now. Yeah. So he’s like, yeah, you’re probably right. So went back to the park dropped him off at his car. But he didn’t just get in his car and go home. Like, he started canvassing the park and talking to people and asking, Hey, have you seen this bike? Or have you seen anybody go by, he’s talking to fishermen talking to people on the playground, like this guy just took it upon himself, he doesn’t really know me that well. But he took it upon himself to go look for my bike. So he’s doing that. And I drove to a parking lot, a little bit south towards downtown and put together a Facebook post to make public to share to everybody. And as I’m doing that, I get a messenger call from him on Facebook Messenger. Because again, he doesn’t have my number we just met. So he calls me on Facebook Messenger. And he’s like, dude, you’re not gonna believe this. The kid who stole your bike, just rode by the park, I’m across the street at the, the condos, talking to the building security guard, and they just rode by, I’m gonna go, I’m gonna go chase them. And so I was like, What? So Patrick, and the building security guard literally took off on foot chasing this kid on the bike, and two kids that were on foot with the one who took my bike. Out of the three kids, they were able to, I don’t know how I don’t know if they grabbed him or if they yelled at him or how they got them to comply. But one of the boys who was described to me as a short, fat kid, he couldn’t keep up probably.

Yeah, that was that guy. The kid that sold the bike. That kid was his downfall.

Yeah. So short, fat kid. It’s such a mean name. But that’s just how he was described to me. Yeah. gave the building security guard from the apartments across the street, gave him the boy’s name, his address, oh, snitch. And his mom’s phone number.

So my question to that is like, the kid cap on right and right. And so he does just friend. Yep. Oh, man. And guess where he rode? Where to home? Yeah, dummy.

No. So obviously not a season criminal, right? Just a dumb kid made a dumb choice. You want to joy ride, stole a bike, rode it past the place he stole it from and then wrote it home. Right? You’re just asking to be found at this point. Yep. So I first called the police because I was like, I don’t know if I want to handle this on my own. But then they were like, well, you can file a police report, but unless the person who stole it or somebody who was with them, unless they’re with you, right this moment, I cannot dispatch an officer to you. I was like,

great. Alright, well, I’ll meet you at the house. And then I’ll call you, right? So

I hung up, and then I texted the number that was for the mom and I just said, Hey, are you so and so’s mom? And she writes back? Yes. And I said, I have reason to believe your son has my bike. I don’t want to get the police involved if I don’t have to. I just want my bike back. And she’s like, Okay, well send me a picture of your bike. Send her a picture. She’s like, it’s here. Where would you like to pick it up? And by this time, I was already on my way. Yeah. And pull up to the address. Sure enough, there was a kid on my bike, just like what are you doing man? And I tried, I tried reasoning with him and just being like I could have taken this information to the police. You could have a pending charge for stealing but I didn’t want that for Are you? And he’s just like, not even hearing it. He’s just being abstinent and well, you got your belonging back. So just go, just go, just go. I’m just like, kid, like, No, just go get in your car and go. Wow. I’m like, do you want me to call the police? He’s like, call the Popo. I’ve got charges already. What’s one more?

Wow. That’s so you didn’t talk to mom at all?

Not in person. She didn’t come out. See, that’s weird, too. I thought so. So I imagine that he probably got an earful from mom, if not more, who knows? But yeah, so I got my bike back, like 40 minutes after it was stolen. That’s pretty good. Yeah. And then we relocated and I was like, we’re not starting here. So we went further north to where I usually get on the trail of and off we went. But it was crazy. Going from this moment of Oh, shit, and panic and worry. And posting on Facebook and having a lot of my friends share the post and everything else to here’s where your bike is like, Alright,

I would have been like, I would have checked my whoop strain and be like, Oh, it’s it’s in the 10s because of the stress. I’m good. I’m gonna go home. Well,

that’s the thing. I’ve got to get these miles in. Yeah, like that’s the biggest drive right now is it’s all about the miles.

Oh, man. Is there any way you could put like, you could probably buy a tracker if you wanted to.

I only ones that I’ve seen require a monthly fee. Wow. Yeah. Cell phone tower.

Yeah, they’re monitoring it all the time. I mean, it’s probably pretty rare. Yeah. I mean, no, it’s not rare that bikes get stolen, but it’s pretty rare that somebody is next to their bike, and they turn their back and get and get stolen. Yeah. Like I don’t leave

it unattended anywhere. That was the only time it was it wasn’t. It was hardly even unintended, right? Like I had just turned my back for a few seconds is wild. That’s crazy. So those were my two connections that I formed the kid that stuff like the building security guard who got the kid to snitch and Patrick.

Yeah, that is a crazy story. I’m impressed. You got it back. I mean, I, it seemed like the kid, at first, I think is going for a joy ride because I didn’t know the story. You didn’t Oh, I was I was away from my phone for the weekend. So I was like, Oh, you can tell it on the podcast. So I didn’t know I knew you got it back. But you would think he was just going for a joy ride. And he would ditch it later, but to drive it to the drive into the house. And then after you look back and see your buddies getting questioned by you’re like, I better not drive this to the house. Yeah. dumb criminals. Like, seems like he’s on the path to penitentiary,

probably. And I really wanted to speak truth to him in that moment and be like, thanks could be so much worse for you right now. But I didn’t think that was necessary.

I think you did the right thing. I would have done that too. I’d been like, dude, you I mean, it’s fine. It’s totally cool. And you would he would hope that he would be like, Alright, thank you. I’m sorry. Yeah, it was just stupid. But having that attitude, I’ve been like, I should call the frickin cops. Oh, yeah. And then mom not coming out to like, I really should have called the cops. Yeah.

And then there was another boy hanging out with them. And he was like, clearly bothered by this scene as it’s going down. And his head is hanging low. And as I’m pulling away, I just looked at and I said, Hey, bud, you need to find new friends. Oh, yeah. just looked at me. He’s just kind of nodded. Yeah. And it was so at least I made it. I don’t know. I got through to him.

Yeah. I mean, the whole interaction. Maybe you never know that. That kid that took it even though he had tried to be a tough guy. Maybe he will reflect back and yeah, not do it. But

I don’t know if you’ve ever done this. But like when you’re trying to hold back a cry. You’re like, let out a weird Yelp. That’s definitely what he did. Like I pull up, roll down my window. I’m like, that’s my bike. And just this weird Yelp of like, I think he was trying to prevent himself from crying but he was trying to be tough and man. Okay, so you just let out this weird Yelp.

No, I don’t say I’ve ever done weird Yelp trying to hold back your cry. Maybe it is common. I don’t know.

I’ve done it a time or two. But yeah.

Well to do a poll, do you yell did you use yellow weird Yelp when you’re trying to hold back

when you’re, you’re trying to swallow the tears back and he just like little choke maybe. Or something like that. But much louder. And with a teen adolescent squeaky voice, right? That’s what he did. After I said you’ve got my bike. And then, like, maybe he was really trying hard. Do not cry so he just turned on the you know the

top the top that Yeah, he was like okay I got through it now I’m going to power into the tough Yes. Weird that’s I mean I’m glad he got your bike back but that it probably not as satisfying for you getting it I mean getting it back but like you kind of want to tell the kid that like eff off kind of

get I mean based on that interaction, but I also wanted to tell them look if you need a bike like let’s find you a bike. Yeah, don’t just take some buddies. Yeah, yeah, it was rough. Well,

glad you got it back.

No kidding. Oh,

thank you all so much for listening to threads podcast real quick and we’ll get back to the show. If you’d like to support us in our endeavors and creating uncomfortable conversations authenticity and those things basically life one filter, you can support us on buy me a slash threads podcast, buy me a coffee, it’s like a Patreon. If you ever heard that before. You can support the people that you really believe in and their passion projects and those kinds of things. Although with buy me a coffee, you are able to buy one coffee, two coffees, five copies, a million copies. That would be amazing. And it’s just a one time thing, right just to help the creator help threads and those kinds of things. Or you can sign up for a membership, which gets you you know, monthly perks in a private Facebook group, they can chat with us and bounce things off with us. Not that we’re professionals. But you know, we would love to help anyone out there that’s listening to our show. So buy me a coffee comm slash threads podcast if you’d like to support us also, newsletter I was supposed to put it out Ben put it together. I just realized that as I’m recording this intro, or this ad spot that I have not done it yet. Dammit, Ben, you should have done it before you went. I blame him. But anyways, it is going to go out probably this weekend. And there you can get all the comings and goings, pictures, fun things, things you might not hear on the podcast, those kinds of things. And it helps us grow our show just by signing up for the newsletter. Of course, if you could do that, that would be great. Just go to threads slash newsletters or you can find it at threads podcast calm, Okay, back to the show.

Well, I didn’t know what bucket or what item to put this under. So I threw it under a meaningful interaction. So Jason and I, it’s been a theme in our friendship. And I think it’s just because we come from very different backgrounds. And and we’re not always the best communicators with each other, I’m

perfect. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

And so, and I’m also I’ll be the first to admit that I can be a bit of a softie at times, especially if I’m stressed. And things get under my skin easily when I’m stressed. And in the short week that we talked about where there’s so much going on. It felt to me that whenever I would put a message to Jason on our voice chat app, like I’m explaining things and I’m like telling them about my day, or the experiences I had or whatever, you at least nice 32nd plus messages. And then I would just get back like a reply. That’s like, two seconds or, or if it’s longer, it’s digging into something that I said and then just like, what the hell What? What’s going on here? And then he’d be like, well, it’s just tongue in cheek. But to me it was just grinding my gears is that though the phrase goes? Yeah, just grinding my gears and just like, this is so obnoxious every time he responds, I’m just getting just this tongue in cheek. I don’t know if its attempt to be funny or to rile me up, but it’s definitely riling me up. And so I let Jason have it. You didn’t hear the first message. It was littered with F bombs and very emotional speaking. And I played it back and I was like, ooh, if I send that that’s gonna be like dropping an atomic bomb on Jason. Delete that Let’s try it again and even in my second attempt, probably came off a little hot and took Jason by surprise maybe I don’t know.

Yeah, so it did take me by surprise. And I and we and we’ve obviously fixed it because he wouldn’t be here if recording if we hadn’t fixed it yet but yeah, I mean, I can see how I fell fall into that a lot. Like I love that fun relationship, but it’s never to bother you though. It’s my goal is not to piss you off. I mean, like, that’s stupid, right? Like, I don’t want to piss anyone off, right? Because that is just, that’s just mean. So I’m trying to crack jokes. I’m trying to be funny. And that I get I think that message if you would, if that would have been the first one that wouldn’t have triggered you. I don’t think because it was it literally I was just, it was basically what I said is you got to stop saying bike riding. Because in my head all i think is little Ben riding his tricycle bike riding or in the little card and the wheel that makes it go click quick, you know whether it was actually funny, it was a kind of a soft moment for me. I’m like, that’s all I think of you. It’s just doing that. And Ben’s like, Am effort like, no, like, I got a Two Minute Message obviously, from that I’m like, What just happened? Like, I’m looking around like, I did I miss something. But I can see that over time of me. Like, where you might call picking. I don’t think it’s picking I’m just, you know, trying to be funny. And so, and then one thing Ben brought up too is that he had mentioned that it bothered him, but he didn’t mention that it bothered him. Like I am a direct person I knew like, hey, this bothered me these things that you said. Can you try to be a little more sensitive? Oh, got it. Sorry about that. Thank you for checking me. But just saying that’s annoying or that’s obnoxious to me. That’s just like, Oh yeah, he’s like a little annoyed, but he probably chuckled a little today again. Why don’t they get I just think like, oh, that like to me I’m an accomplished Well, no, no, that’s not it. Like when someone says, Oh, that’s obnoxious in my head. I think they’re like, that’s annoying and just kind of like chuckling and like shaking their head at me. Like I’m trying to get a reaction, but not a negative. Like, I don’t want to make anyone mad. Like if I’d said something, unless I was mad at them. That’s totally different. But if I’m not mad, like if we’re just having fun, I don’t want you to be upset about it. Like that’s not my goal. I didn’t want to do that so

and I’ll admit to that maybe the timing of it like maybe it was less about you and more about all the things I had going on yeah, during that week, and I wasn’t handling them well.

I have to say though I in you you might disagree but Mike piles on your ass to like that day before that we had a long conversation about you comparing running to biking and then Mike and he went, like I just said no way Ben that’s not what and he went hard in the paint on it. So that had to add to your frustration,

maybe but I wasn’t aware of it if it did, like I didn’t read.

I don’t know cuz I sent a message to him. I’m like, bro, like, we do send messages to each other because I think Ben or Mike and I were alike were different. But we’re more alike than you and I are alike. And so to me sometimes when he says stuff to you, I’m like, geez, like, is that what I sound like sometimes because like, I want somebody to check me. But I don’t know. I think it was a an accumulation of your week plus that day plus whatever. But like I told you on telegram, please tell me the second it happens. Because I don’t know I struggle with my wife with that, too. I don’t. And she’s working on doing that, too. Like, I want to be loving. I want to have fun. I want to be connecting. And if I’m not, I need to know, right? I’m just one of those guys. That shit goes right over my head. I just

that is not me. No, I analyze everything. Yeah.

And I wish I did to like you had mentioned I swear you listen to messages and then stop in the middle, which I do. And I have to work on that. But I think I don’t process it. I don’t process a lot of stuff right away. And I respond back right away, like whatever comes to my mind instead of listening to it. But I don’t know, it’s just I think my brain just goes so fast that I just don’t take the time to process. Yeah,

yeah. One thing that I hear often in the mental health community is the suggestion to listen to understand, not listen, to respond. interested. That’s what I really have been trying to do in my own life, whether it’s at work with customers, listening to them, really understanding what the impact of this situation is on them, and then responding once I have the correct understanding. And I think the same goes for a lot of things, not just mental health. Obviously, with a therapist, they’re listening, not to respond, they’re listening to understand, and then provide some sort of, I don’t know, some try to fix some try to just bounce ideas off of you, whatever the case may be. But before the therapist does their therapy, they listen. And I think we, our lives would be so vastly different if we could follow that simple rule of listen to understand not to reply.

I think the most humans are more like me, I would have to say it’s not that you’re rare, but I mean, I mean, it’s probably a less percentage of people that actually process and think about that stuff, right? It’s more just boom, boom. Boom but I agree it totally like I can do it on the podcast right I can really listen to you and then think about it and and i don’t i don’t jump in well one because it sounds terrible for people listening but I also do want to have a meaningful interaction but for whatever reason on telegram and who knows where I’m in that I’m working who knows what space I’m in I was in a fine mood like again that whole thing was shocking to me because I was I was like having fun I was I was having a moment like oh band like like Oh, just see a little band driving around like that’s how I looked at it and then you’re like, two minutes of like okay and maybe

that’s part of it too because i don’t i guess i mean you know how I want to put this into words but I think the basic idea I’m getting at is I don’t want to be known as tender little Ben like that was so

that that that it was the con the actual content that bothered you

as I am analyzing and processing and thinking maybe in this moment it clicks with me I don’t like being seen as that like because that’s what I was in my childhood years I was the bandwidth the lots of physical stuff and like so when that message played I think it triggered something inside of me to think back to myself when I was like, vulnerable or not as in control of my life or it just felt like you were talking about me as if I was a child and somehow that really didn’t sit well.

Wow because like I was having a actual soft moment in that in that moment. I like I view Well, you got to clarify what you don’t like but I think you did towards the end but early on you’re like I don’t want to be known as tender hearted I’m like, I wish I was known as tender hearted that means I’m loving and I don’t love seen

as soft i think is

but that’s I didn’t I don’t view it as soft. I view it as like, Oh, he’s just a little kid and he’s just riding his bike bike riding. It just sounds silly to me. But I literally said it the other day when I told Megan I’m going bike riding. I was like oh shit i said to write because for me Yeah, so again, I Yeah, I did. I didn’t look at it that way. And but what it is what it is, I guess and then we honestly through our texting. We still were kind of going at it after we text but then when you said to me like I will try to like I don’t know what you said I will try to do this. I will try to tell you or be more clear when it’s bothering me. I’m like, Yes, thank you, that’s all and I was like I’m good now like he understands where I’m coming from. I understand where he’s coming from. I’m gonna work on it. He’s gonna work on being more clear. That’s how people wrap shut up and be like, move on. I mean, I don’t know how you felt about the finish of it. Got some of my ear it keeps itching keep taking my headphones off. Just took a shower. I clean my ears out to me.

I’ve been watching this doctor and tick tock that cleans out your drums. Some of the wax he pulls out like

how are you even listening? Like it’s it’s so compact and I mean, and I guess it is magnetize because he’s you know he’s got a scope or whatever but yelling like how are you even getting that sound in there? They must hear so much better after that crazy

anyway. That’s just what I thought of when you talked about your ear. And I think going back to that like I hate it when people call me buddy and I hate it when people call me Benny or Benji and it’s just like for whatever reason me being referenced by childhood buddy Benny boy whatever just stir something up so we’ll need to work through that

well you mean work through what by yourself? I don’t know maybe go back and see somebody well I mean you’re not going to therapy anymore

Well it’s not a done forever thing it’s just a we’re calling it an interruption if I need to go back he’s there

not a not a fan personally just throw in my two cents I was Andy a fan

yeah she’s she’s not go away to skip to the mental health up Yeah, I

know I jumped there. So yeah, I before we move on to dead bodies, um, it’s not fun. We shouldn’t laugh about it. I mean, I feel bad saying that but it’s funny I don’t give a shit. Because Yeah, whatever but just like even that whole thing about Benny boy like that shit. You got to be clear and concise. Like when so when you don’t like it, you have to say I don’t like this don’t like laugh in between. You know what I mean? Because I know you’ve brought that up before but I kind of it’s not impactful enough for me to not do it. I actually was typing it today and then and then I couldn’t spell it. Alright, I’m like didn’t know how to do it. So I just forgot it. It was something about the bike. I will set it the cycling I did today. And so I’m glad I didn’t send that because oh shit that would have been you would have been like, that bothers me so much, but, and I know it’s hard to tell people those things. It’s not for me, but my wife who is a lot like you. I think you guys have similar things. It’s incredibly hard for so sought out out there. Yep. So valley low point, Ben. Again, this is about talking about the dead body. I mean, why don’t you go into that a little bit?

Yeah. So I just, I can’t make the last couple of weeks up the shit. Yeah. Like, and so Larry, who is a friend from Kentucky was in town for the gig, gig. picnic. What gig economy gig economy podcast, picnic, something, that event that was at the park, right? So I decided the easiest way to do a kayak trip with Larry is let’s just start where he’s at. Yeah, at the park. And I was like, great, we’ll do that. And then we’ll kayak down to canal Park, which is where my bike was stolen. Just a side note there. But anyway, so we did that. And it was like, This is perfect. This is a great, great little jog. We’ll get some distance in, I’ll get my strain up from my whoop. This is cool. Well, we get like maybe 20 minutes into the paddle. And we look to our left, and there’s a bunch of police vehicles and yellow tape tied to trees, right up to the waterline. And as we get closer, we see a woman who’s obviously emotional and just sitting on the ground, like something tragic had just happened. So we see her and we see a police officer comforting her. And, of course, we’re trying not to like stare because that’s rude. And then we get a little farther and we see a sheet over a body. And it the the forensics van is parked right next to the body. And there’s a couple of other officers kind of standing around that general area. And there’s definitely two feet sticking out from underneath that white sheet.

And they put a sheet on that doesn’t cover everything. Yeah, for Christ’s sake. Sorry,

sticking out. So. So I look at wary and glary looks at me, and we’re just kind of like I think it’s a dead body. Yeah. And Larry’s like that’s definitely a dead body. Yeah, I was like, I want to take a picture. But that’s probably not the right thing to do right now.

No, no, that’s not a good idea to do that.

So I didn’t, obviously. And then we kept paddling. And it was just like the silence of what just happened. And probably was a good five minutes before either of us said anything. And we’re just like, That’s horrible. Whatever happened there. My goodness. So so we finish our our paddle and we get out at canal Park, nothing was stolen. So that’s good. And first thing I did was check the news. Like what was that that we just saw. Turns out it was a 15 year old boy who was attending the powwow with his family. And he had his dog Apparently, he was taking his dog to get water from the river. But somehow he slipped on a rock and fell in and drowned. And what’s interesting is, as we were putting our kayaks in we could see up in the distance that there was some commotion going on in the river. They know what it was, obviously. So when the time that we started our trip and got to where they were was the time that they were pulling the body out of the water. And yeah, that was a very low point. That was just a just a very real reminder that life is short. Anything can happen. Definitely checked on Stefan last night. More than I would normally just mean Yeah, he’s 15 just like the boy was Yeah. And yeah, hold your kids close cuz you never know what’s what could happen. I mean, I just can’t imagine what life is like for that family today.

Yeah, it really is. I told Ben yesterday that when you see stuff on the internet, it kind of goes in your eyes and you’re just like, oh, that sucks. And then you move on to the next thing, right? Yeah, but when you see stuff like that, it’s so like I could tell both you were a little rattled. You know, you weren’t crying or anything, but you could just see You just keep talking about it playing it in your head, you know, and it’s just like, when you see that stuff real life, you’re like, Damn like this. This shit happens all the time. Like this is so sad. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there’s nothing anyone could have done. I mean, it was a freak accident. Yeah. And but yeah, it’s just I feel so bad for the family. Yeah, it was

bad. So that’s my, and here’s the thing I put that under a valley low point. And I almost feel selfish, acknowledging the fact that it bothered me because what bothered me is so small in comparison to the family who actually lost their son, their brother, their nephew, I mean, so I feel like my that was really hard pales in comparison to what they’re feeling and the grief that they’re experiencing so it’s almost hard for me to put it as a valley but it was I mean, that really kind of shook me up.

I think as humans we try to I say that a lot like I should be I should be happy because of this this and this but Megan only says it is it’s rough for you in this moment. It’s okay. Sorry, you know, like if I have pain or like I went with when I used to have the chronic pain and I still do from time to time, I would say I would be like feel sorry for myself. And I’ll be like, how about it’s better than something that’s disabled or as cancer and she’s like, yeah, I get that but you have to like it’s bad for you right now. It’s okay to say that don’t feel like you’re selfish by saying you’re struggling in that moment. No, that’s good. I mean, you have a good heart so smart, huh? Your wife is so I know she has you have your feelings you can’t control that that’s how you feel like it was shitty for me to see a dead body I mean, I think if you pull the 100 people 99 except the serial killer would say that it was rough to see that

Yeah, I then one other really weird part of the story. So I did joke about the taking a picture like I kind of want to take a picture but I didn’t and then we are paddling in silence and the next thing you know there’s some dude with a camera just on the bank of the river and he took a picture like he was with the

new he might have been just that just to get a you know in podcasting his room tone they’re kind of trying to get this would this feel what’s going on? They’ll probably delete it they probably won’t use it for anything but

yeah, it’s just weird cuz I just joked about taking a picture and next thing you know some dudes taking our picture.

Yeah. Crazy. So well my my little point is I broke a house item again, with my new medication. I’ve been doing great. Like it’s really keeping me even keel and a couple of days ago, it was Thursday. I was like, I’m gonna go cycling. I’m gonna go cycling and mags like okay, well I’m I’m heading out to with my girlfriend to go to dinner. And I’m like, cool. Avery can watch Sully and bah, bah, bah, blah. And so I got my shorts on I got I’m all geared up ready to put my shoes on. And then, like, 20 minutes before, five acres, like, Oh, I got shots today at 510 allergy shots. I was like,

Okay, so we’re getting everything ready.

Everything’s ready. And it’s totally fine, like, so we switch days for her because she’s starting dance. And so she can’t do the normal time on Monday. So she switched to Thursday, but I didn’t look at the calendar. I just Megan’s always taking care of the shots. So even if I did, I’d be like, Oh, it’s fine. And Megan was going to leave or she was getting ready to leave. I’m like, hey, do you mind doing shots real quick and then just drop her off? And she was like, No, I can’t do it. And I that is fine. Like I should have been appropriate and said, You know, that’s okay. And it said I walked upstairs and I went to turn the light on in the kitchen but instead of like just turning it on I took my fist and hit it on like that and it cracked the just a plastic frame around the switch. I’ll show you when we’re done recording. It’s no big deal. It’s a it’s a 20 cent par But I was just like, seriously Yeah, and so I was fussy about I’m like, Yeah, I can’t go for a bike ride. So I’m gonna be Fauci and it just, it’s socked in. It’s just like, I’m trying it. I mean, they’re, they’re way less than they are for therapy and the medication it’s really helped. But I was just like, so disappointed that I did that. I’m like, seriously, I broke at least this one was cheap. And not like the door or bedroom door. But I don’t know it’s just it’s just so frustrating when those things happen because I feel incredibly bad. I mean, thankful I didn’t say any words say anything terrible. I was just I broke something. And I didn’t intend to break it. I was just like, Ah, so that’s my my little boy. Nice. So what have you learned Ben? I did not look at my favorite site today. But I am excited that I don’t know what This is about

all right so Mike This is for you I’ve had drama with scales at my house yeah like I’ve three scales since I started my fitness journey in the beginning of this year now four but good lord jack about the first three each one had the same issue it just it would not weigh consistently like it would change every time I got on and off and I would measure myself in like, I’d step on get the number step off. Step on it’s a different number get off and just consistently doing this Okay, it was like there was no no consistency no rhyme or reason. measurements taken seconds apart are wildly different, like wildly like how much like five pounds that’s pretty wild. Like what’s going on so I thought maybe it’s because my ginormous feet so I ordered a wider scale it did the same shit. And then it was like okay, this is dumb. So then I would still have to return it but I ordered an analog scale the thing’s a beast like he would find an old doctor’s office right? what it was super accurate but I couldn’t read the numbers because it’s not digitally lit or anything and

those I remember my parents have an older one and it’s it’s tough to read like you really have to look at me like you can see the main pounds but point whatever Good luck I’m like okay,

this isn’t it. So probably six months ago, Mike said I’ve got this scale it was super cheap. And it just works great. Like you should just go pick it up from Target or Meijer and I was like yeah, I don’t know about that store bought probably cheap. So finally he’s like Dude, you just need to get this scale and he sent me the Amazon link He’s like, just get it on Amazon be done with this. This is silly. I was like you’re right I’ll get the damn scale. So I got the scale and it’s super simple. There’s no Bluetooth there’s no high tech. Crazy stuff is a digital it is just digital and it tells you your weight and that’s it and simple, straightforward and it has like legs on it that are a bit taller so it makes up for the difference on you know the surfaces that aren’t necessarily perfectly flat. So I tried it in my bathroom downstairs I tried it in the laundry room and both places same exact readings every time I was like damn it Mike you’re right but this is awesome because like I can finally weigh myself and not have it be a 30 minute ordeal trying to figure out if that’s the right reading or not I can step on write the weight down and I’m done. So thank you Mike.

Oh man he’s gonna gloat with that I know so we’re gonna go with that. So I have a digital scale too and my instructions say get on there don’t use the first way Get off it that’s how it like quote unquote calibrate Yeah, it just says step on it as soon as it clears off again get off and get on and it’s usually within a couple of ounces. So to me that seems accurate but but that’s all it does. There’s no Bluetooth or fat or body fat mass or whatever the hell it is. But now they say you’re supposed to keep it in the same spot. Every time it

is Oh, I was just testing this to see if it would oh you’re just trying Oh that’s a good idea. Because one of the issues that I had with my first scale is it weighed lighter in the bathroom and heavier in the laundry room by about 10 pounds.

Oh my gosh, it well that could be flooring.

Well it was Yeah, with the scale that Mike recommended it has the longer lead Okay, so it’s off of the ground higher, which decreases that fluctuation. So I should have just listened to Mike six months ago and he was like I found this great scale you should get it. But instead, I went down this rabbit hole of finding the right Bluetooth scale. It’s wide enough for my feet yadi I’ll

send me the link I’ll throw it in the show notes just in case someone’s frustrated with that because I’m sure you’re not the only one Yeah, they get frustrated with that stuff. Yep. Oh scales. How do you weigh yourself?

Lately I’ve been doing it daily just because it’s a new scale and I want to have a baseline Yeah, but generally I tried to do it like twice a week.

Okay. Yeah, Megan always says to me she always gets after me She’s like, you know it’s just a way yourself so much I was like, it’s not that I don’t know cuz I think there’s a mental thing around that too. big part of it, like being frustrated. You know, instead of saying how do you feel like have you measured around your waist? Have you done those kind of like, just because you’re not losing two pounds a week. It doesn’t mean you’re not gaining ground because you’re

yeah that’s something else that Mike was telling me I need to do so it’s probably step two

what measure yeah well you should be able to measure with your pants I mean that’s pretty easy if they get loose Oh yeah, I think all three of ours have you know especially Mike have loose pants my belt I have one of those mission belts so that you can adjust it when you eat too much. Love those I have to get another one the leathers. The leathers all cracked and everything but I can tell I’ve lost some inches. I’m still hovering around 200 pounds. See I weigh myself on Monday, which is the dumbest thing because all weekend Yeah, cuz he like, you know, you eat a little bit more. I at least our family eats food out more. You know what I mean? On the weekend? So yeah, I don’t know, maybe I should do it on Friday. But anyways, so we’re gonna jump into faith and and ask each other a question and mental health first. Ben had a question. No, he had a statement. What’s up with the talk around all of us talking about Ben going back to ministry. Now here’s what I think’s going to happen. Ben’s gonna say he’s frustrated with it. And it’s finally going to come out in the show instead of saying it months ago when we were teasing him. months ago. This still comes up weekly. Yeah, well, the last couple shows that seem has seen. I don’t think it

bothers me necessarily. It’s just one of those things that I was looking back on. What do I want to do for the faith segment? Like, oh, we can talk about that, because it seems to be a theme. And it’s not anything I’m upset or mad about. But it almost feels like Jason and Mike are trying to peer pressure me into returning to my roots of being in some sort of ministry. for employment purposes.

Honestly, I’ll tell you some I don’t feel like you’ve settled into what you want to do. I know you love your job. So this is not against the job you have. Right I mean at me, I was not a huge fan of you doing that. But whatever. I love you for months. Yeah, I mean, it is what it is. I’m not gonna I’m not saying you know, these are my concerns, but I love you. I’ll support you either way. But I just don’t feel like you found your calling in I don’t know if that’s in Matthew.

flip the script on Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it’s weird with the jlb right, because it’s my calling to fertilize lawns. I mean, I enjoy it. I like it. I mean, I’m ready to be done because again, I have the luxury of having to switch jobs every year or every six eight months and so I’m ready to be done and ready to go into gig work and then by you know, mid February I’m like, Oh my gosh, cannot ready to can’t wait to fertilize lawns. But I don’t know I To me, it’s like, is that a calling? Like, is someone called to do lawns? Like I don’t know for you. If someone called to do sales either. Like that’s I don’t know. Calling is kind of faith based. I think real, but I just don’t feel you’re settled yet. And it’s not a call. I mean, it takes people I mean what what a KFC guy started that and like when he was 55 you know what I mean? Like are you super old so it doesn’t it has nothing to do with age or it’s not a disrespect or anything but I mean you went to school for it you must have been passionate at the time for it. And so I think that’s why we kind of go back to it I mean, again, sorry, tongue in cheek, we will do will be supportive of you whatever you want to do, but

yeah, I mean, it’s not like something that bothers me or gets under my skin. It’s like good to hear. Hmm, this has been a fairly consistent topic of conversation. Why?

Yeah, I mean, well, Ben, our mics How about this is like the third time this episode I’ve switched your guys’s name. Mike is in the ministry he’s a pastor so it’s gonna be a topic and we have people in here have faith or against faith. So I mean, it just triggers it in your brain like, you know what, Ben wants to go back to ministry? Yeah,

and speaking of that a question for you. Would you respect me less? That’s a weird word word for it but we’ll go with it. Would you respect me last if I never went back to ministry?

You know, you know me it would never that would never change I mean, you got to wronged me or my family or you know, murder somebody for me to lose my respect. You know what I’m saying like that would be like I’d be like, Alright, that’s cool. I don’t care I mean, whatever I want whatever happiest for you if you’re happy doing what you’re doing then who gives a shit and I just think it’s come up more just because of whatever I blame Mike. Yes, this is great because we have the podcast and he doesn’t so we can talk shit about him and then we just hear about it later and play it off like it was we were having fun

and for all the other listeners we’ve mentioned Mike quite a bit but you’ve probably know who he is. He’s been on the show you can go back and listen to those episodes. He’s like the third gas that’s not here. So we get to just talk

it’s funny you bring that up Megan’s one feedback for our show is our inside jokes and where people don’t know other people on the show. So we should try this is I’m gonna keep this in because I think it’s because maybe Maybe other people are pissed about this too. We should try if the if we bring up somebody other than us, give a quick 10 seconds. This is who this guy is blah, blah blah to us, just so some people have contact, right? She that was that’s some feedback that she does not like about this. But yeah, so Mike is one of our friends. And yeah, you probably hear it on every episode.

Yeah, Mike and I went to college together. And we’re both adoptive parents. Like there’s just a lot of commonality in our lives with the exception that I left ministry, and he’s still still at it.

Yeah. And just to wrap that up, I think it’d be totally fine. If you did. I don’t think really anyone cares. But I think we all want to make you happy. And again, don’t take it as a cut that I think that you aren’t settled in yet. Just and you’re younger, too. I mean, you’re in your 30s you’re a baby. I’m a baby. Like, I mean, yeah, I could be like KFC, you could live forever. Oh, gross. Yeah.

Nice. All right, well, with that, we’ll wrap up our faith section. And just kind of jump into a fun wildcard game where we each get to ask each other one question. This could be relating to something we’ve said on the podcast today, or it could be something completely random. Jason, I will let you go first. Dammit, I was like

I highlighted to do you ever imagine yourself in a very negative but unlikely scenarios? For example, in prison or severely disabled or maybe doing things you would never do an actual reality?

Wow. No, really? So I mean, I think of worst case scenarios but don’t ever think of myself as like, in the worst case scenario where I’m in jail or something.

Yeah, but let’s look at the last part or maybe doing things that you would never do in reality.

Like, like flying

No, I mean, I mean, I guess that’s fine. But I fantasize a lot about and maybe this doesn’t line up about like what I would do and scenarios and I don’t know I do. Why am I answering this? So clearly none of these apply to you but I

really I tried to stay grounded in reality I don’t often find myself thinking of what I would do different I don’t know.

I mean, I think applies to like if you were frustrated with somebody I’m like I’m gonna beat the shit out of him like I found his face in and I don’t care what happens to me or something like that. I really feel like that I find that I some of this stuff is I have it during Twilight or I’m falling asleep Oh yeah. Yeah these weird like right before I fall asleep these weird fantasies of different things not sexual Of course. I mean, that’s just terrible but no, I I find I do this almost on a daily basis. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I don’t know. I mean, we’re so different. It surprises me that you don’t just because you’re an analyzer,

right? But when it comes to see I guess the way I see it is I’m a very very in the moment, kind of person. So if something happens to me, I don’t think I would ever punch somebody face in but I’m impulsive as what so while you dream about or fantasize about it as you fall asleep? I just do shit in the moment now perhaps other people wouldn’t do yeah, I could going and confronting the kid who stole my bike instead of wishing that I could somehow you know just talk smack to him or whatever I went and did just that see

what I would have done in that situation? I’m like I gotta be careful not to beat this kids ask because I’m gonna go to jail. Yeah, like so that’s putting yourself how

I think I’m gentle like I don’t know

Hey, don’t say that. You’re not tender either.

Maybe I am and I just don’t like that about myself. Alright, fair enough. Fair enough. So I don’t really think about stuff like

that. It’s actually kind of cool that you answered that way because it really shows the difference from our personalities because I think about that shit all the time.

Yeah. You have anger issues Hey Just kidding. That was that’s what I would have said

yeah and see that’s rough cuz like you You know why I have those issues.

Yes, you know, you and your story. That’s what I would have come out. It goes back to what we were talking about earlier listening to understand are listening to respond and if I just that’s so good, I needed to respond. I would be like, dude, you got anger issues.

I gotta write that down somewhere that I can see it all the time. Get a tattoo and And I’m thinking about, you know, maybe something on the mirror last night crazy night. So what? What is your question for me

my question for you? What, if anything, I had to put that in there is too serious to be joked about. So you’re talking about dead bodies and how we were laughing at them? Where’s the line for you? Well, it’s

like, what do they say comedy plus time? Or tragedy plus time equals comedy? Yes. So basically, I mean, can you joke about 911? Probably not. No, but they people do. Yeah. All the time. And I’ve probably heard it a year after it happened. Yeah. So So your question is, is there anything too serious? Not to joke about? Yes, I think so. You got to remember, a lot of times when people are talking about serious stuff, they crack jokes, because that’s how they’re coping with whatever’s going on. I think there definitely is, like I said, it all depends on the situation, if you’re involved into it, or if you’re just observing it. I think I’m, I actually thought about this. When you were talking, I was going to add it out. You said you’d you reiterated the picture thing at the end. So it’s going to screw up my edit. But I was like, Ben, I’m editing that out. Because you sound a little shitty by saying that. I mean, I mean, you’re being honest. But my God, that would not be my first instinct is to take a picture. No, you see what I mean? I was just like, Oh my gosh, when you said that I didn’t react but I was like, I’m gonna edit that out. Or I’m gonna ask you about it. It goes

back to the impulsivity thing, I think. Yeah. And I, I do I don’t think

but I think people are attracted to freak shows that I think I probably wouldn’t think about that, because I’m the kind of guy that goes to a concert and doesn’t pull his phone out and take pictures or videos. Right? Like, what are you doing? Yeah, like, enjoy yourself in the moment. The fireworks. Right, exactly. Who wants to watch fireworks? Well, it’s not even watching it. Like if you’re focusing on getting the best picture doing that you’re missing What’s going on? Yeah, you’re it’s passing you by right. Sorry to get you off there. No, that’s that’s totally fine. But um, Oh, great. You did give me off you.


Take me serious? Oh, yeah. So like, me going past there. I wouldn’t have thought of that, like, take a picture. It does. I think it all depends on the situation. I don’t know. I’m trying to think of another scenario what I would would joke about it, but

depends how close it is to me. Yeah, that 15 year old kid isn’t and I know we chuckled a little bit at the beginning. And I hope people don’t think I’m insensitive about it. But I do care for that family. But you know what I mean, I don’t know. I think I’m digging myself a hole. But But anyway, so that that that’s my response to that nice, short mental health update once you go first. Yeah. So I quit therapy, quit or quit forever. But even my therapist, he didn’t he never brought it up, ever. He never like I did have a therapist Tell me. Well, looks like you’re good to go. Call me when you need me. Right? Shawn never did that with me. And the way it came up was just very natural. We had a silent moment. And I had just gotten finished talking about all the different things, tools, resources, everything that I was doing, to maintain and improve my mental health. And it was just quiet for a moment. And I had the thought of, then why am I paying to come here if I’m doing all of this work myself? And so he’s like, Ben, I just sense that maybe there’s something you want to say, but you haven’t said, and he’s like, maybe I’m reading the room wrong. But that’s just my impression. I said, Well, and it took me about three minutes to get it out. Of course. Like, well, I, I just been thinking, and then just kind of editing myself. Finally, he’s like, Ben, you can say it, it’s okay. So I said, Fine. I’m thinking if I really am wondering if I really even need to be here. It’s like, what’s the big deal with saying that that’s okay to it’s okay to say that. I’m thought it’s funny

that you’re editing in your therapist, like I just, there’s no editing.

I usually don’t. But when it came to that you did, it was so hard because he

felt bad for him. Like we’re, you know, this relationship is like a breaking up.

Yeah, in a way. And so I, we started talking about it, and over the course of the next three sessions, talk more about it, and talk and he even shared with me, which was so affirming. It’s like Ben, as I look at our relationship over the last two years, when we first started, you’re in rough shape. And we did a lot of work to get you. Functional was like, Yeah, that’s true. He’s like, and then things kind of shifted and he went from functional to maybe not quite thriving, but Doing well enough that, yes, you still needed to come here. But you were doing better. He’s like, and now we’re in a season where he didn’t use the word thriving. That was my word. But the way he put it is, when you come into my office, we’re not talking about ways to help you or things to improve or change. He said, we’ve entered a season where you come and sit down and you’re recounting and telling me all of the things that you’ve been doing to better your mental health. He’s like, it’s to a point where, frankly, you you don’t need me He’s like, You’re doing well, he’s like, so we should celebrate that. And he said, but if things ever changing, you’re not doing well, he said, Just consider this an interruption. You’re not coming weekly, but that doesn’t mean that six months from now, you can’t come back, right? Just give me a call. Like, it’s not a big deal. So we had a wrap up session, and it was just so here’s that word again, tender but I gave him the biggest handshake as I left I was like, Can I can at least shake your hand and he’s like, of course and gave him a huge handshake. I had tears welling up and it was just like this moment of almost celebration because I have come a long way I’ve done a shit ton of work and I will continue to do work on my mental health. And for him to acknowledge that I don’t need his role at this point in time was very affirming but then just the reassurance that if the shit does hit the fan and I really feel like I need to go back I can go back

Yeah, I totally respect that but I feel like this is just me so I feel like you have more to work on

maybe I’m not in a place where I want to do that.

And I just don’t want you to look in at this is that you can work on it by yourself? No, the ship the deep shit you can’t work on Myers Yes, the normal mental health like making sure you’re doing the right things to that level is 100% all on you it’s not his job, it’s our job.

And he even said like I said, Well, I still have stuff that I need to work through and he’s like, show to why it’s like that’s that’s a four letter word that we call life he’s like that’s just how it is. Yeah, there’s always gonna be something that needs to be talked about

and I’m I’m a firm believer if you’re not ready to work on it, then you’re not ready to work on it.

Yeah, and maybe there are things that we still haven’t got to it can be Season Two maybe we’re in intermission right now

yeah, now that I look at it that way if if you’re not ready to work on those things if you’re like yeah, I’m good right now.

Yeah, I’m at a point where those things don’t interrupt me on a daily basis

There you go. That’s the key if that starts creeping into your brain and messing up

I will go back in a hurry but in this season of life there’s nothing that’s really like popping up and causing me days weeks Long’s funks like there was in the past Yeah, to

me all my stuff is why keep going is is when I lose my temper and smash it like that. That reiterates to me I’m not done yeah, like that’s not a normal thing. I mean, I know it happens everyone does get angry but to smack to break something is not that’s like okay, well you clearly has some shit yet yeah, to work through.

And another thing too going full circle back to the story of my bike and Patrick as we were riding our bikes finally he was like, you know, Ben, I just have to say I would have been pissed and screaming and angry and he did he’s like I just have a lot of respect for how calm you stayed during that whole thing. He’s like, it’s like it didn’t even bother you. It was like oh, it bothered me

Well, I think you had the the social pressure of not losing your shit and you should have said well if you weren’t here I may have may have been a little bit more elevated which is completely normal. Right? I mean, you should be elevated do someone stole a bike? They spent a lot of money on Yeah,

so But at any rate, I agree. Like, if I get to a spot and I sure as hell hope that you or my wife or anybody. If they start seeing me slip and I’m getting into these funks like I have in the past. I’m going back like that’s just got to be a non like that’s a non negotiable. That’s the word I’m looking.

Yeah, I haven’t seen those at least as much as we talk and hang out. I haven’t seen them recently. So it’s been

so good to not have that weight weighing me down. So right. So that’s my update.

Well, you wrote cycling, helps calm anxiety and breathe. Well, I mean, I’ve seen I was like, You didn’t talk about any of that.

I changed my mind like,

Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up my bad. I shouldn’t have brought it up. But well,

it’s true. I mean, not that cycling replaces, going to see a therapist because it doesn’t, but it helps. It helps. Like, I work on my breathing when I bike. And people that Walker ride bike past me are probably like, what the hell is he doing, but I’m purposely breathing deeply as I cycle. Yeah. And I think about the things that might be making me anxious, and I just process them. And it’s I go for 30 mile ride. So I’ve got time. It’s just given me time to work through shit. And it’s just been really good. So there you go.

Mine real quick is same old same old finally going this Wednesday. Well, this will be out after I go. But by myself, Megan and I are going we’re gonna alternate those. So I’m going every two weeks now I’m kind of upped it a little bit. And one week, or one visit a month is with Megan and one is with myself unless we need to switch it up. But I think I’m going to explore the EMDR again, just to try it and see but give it the old college try. But the problem is that he’s just realizing as I was speaking, if she wants to see me every two weeks if we do EMDR so I don’t freaking know, like now I’m like Judas Priest, I just, I just realized that right now as I was speaking. So we’ll reevaluate on Wednesday and see what she thinks. But of course, you know, she always supports what I want to do, which is like sometimes I just want you to tell me what the fuck to do. Anyways, so well, this is a great show. It went longer than normal, but who cares? timestamp? Mike, I know you love that. And as we wrap up, we’re just if one of us has something to take away then we can talk about it. And my takeaway is I was really shocked by your your revelation about the tenderheartedness on the bike where I was having this again, great. It wasn’t a great moment. I shouldn’t be like I was This is amazing. I was just I was just imagining I literally imagined in my head in that moment, I was sending the message and because you heard me chuckling like, and it wasn’t like I was like chuckling because I was laughing at you. I was just like, oh my god, I’m just picturing you on this bike. This card and I get this. But anyways, and how that really reflected for you to be like, Oh, this bums me out. You don’t? You didn’t like that. childhood was I mean, it was just raw. It was difficult. Yeah, you ran you ran into some challenges. And so I don’t want to apologize for that. Because I mean, that’s your feelings, but just know, you know, it wasn’t tried to it was nothing to make you feel hurt.

Yes. I guess my takeaway is sort of related to that conversation thread.

Aha to what you did there.

But just the whole Listen, to understand not to respond and maybe this is selfish of me to say I’m just gonna say it. Like I’m just so grateful that it landed with you and that it meant something to you. So that’s my takeaway.

What that statement Yeah, it did I’m like I was gonna google it right now so I don’t forget it. You know, you can go back in your history. It’s like your own little, your own little notepad. But no, I didn’t mean a lot. Like I wish I could freakin do that more often. Because I think I would be more successful. Yes. in life in general. It’s

a challenge. But it’s so I mean, I’ve landed huge deals in sales, because I listen, to understand, I don’t just listen to sell a product.

Oh, that’s so good. Like, that’s so impactful on sales, right? I listen to the customer. Everyone says it right. But how many people actually do and not try to be like, Oh, I’m just gonna sell this. Yeah, instead of like, Oh, I want to sell you this bigger one, but the smaller ones gonna work just fine. And I’ll make a little less money. But I know you’ll be happy. Yeah, exactly. That’s amazing. So what do we got coming up next week.

Next week, we have a flip the script kind of episode where Jason and I will not be hosting. But our friend David Tisa will be hosting. And it will be a show where David has the creative reins to put the show plan together. Gosh, I’m totally relinquishing control. And as I talk about it, my brain like alarm bells are going off like what are you thinking? But we want to things fresh here at the threads podcast life unfiltered. So to switch things up and give you truly pretty unfiltered episode. We’re going to put ourselves in the guests seats and allow David t Smith to host and put us on the spot. So that’s all I know. Really.

Yeah. And David’s been he was one of our first guests. Yeah, so it’ll be interesting, but All right, guys, thank you guys so much. And always remember as we say, keep the faith do your work and live Of Life unfiltered

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