Transcription #142

Hi guys, welcome to threads podcast life on filter. Thank you so much for joining us tonight, recording on a Sunday night, beautiful weekend of warm weather but not too humid. And we appreciate each and every one of you. And we got a personal format we had to give it because I have COVID. And we’ll talk about that in a little bit later. And so we are remote, Ben and I and we’re just going to do a personal format. But before we do that Ben is going to talk about what threads podcast is all about real quick, and then kind of introduce some icebreaker questions.

Yeah, the threads podcast life unfiltered is a show where the two of us Jason and I get together and talk about life, what’s going on, and what’s going on behind what’s going on, we try to pull back the curtain, be upfront and honest and, you know, not just settle for surface level conversation, but go a little bit deeper. And our hope in doing that is mainly we want to encourage our listeners to have similar conversations in their lives. And as we share, you’ll probably hear some threads of our conversation that you really relate to. That’s the whole reason why we call this the threads podcast. There are far more things in our world that tie us together than terrorists apart. We want to focus on those things. So that is what the threads podcast is. And to get us started tonight, you know, we’ve been doing this kind of sort of deep intro icebreaker question. How are you showing up tonight and right off the gun, it just gets you. It gets you honest and authentic. And there’s certainly nothing wrong with that. But just to kind of switch things up a little bit. We’re gonna do things a little differently with tonight’s icebreaker I’ve got two questions and you can we can take these as deep or as shallow as we want to. The first question I have is if you were a wrestler, what would your entrance theme song be? Jason I’d love to hear yours.

Yeah I feel like I wanted this like I don’t have a lot of thought around i mean i two songs come to mind I guess what I’m saying and I don’t know if it applies to like kicking ass and taking names but I’ll just throw them out there because it’s supposed to be light hearted I always think about and I’m sure well i’m sure one of them you’ve definitely heard of but the Guns and Roses Welcome to the Jungle. I just feel that the starting of that is like those beginning chords are pretty awesome. And then the other one is Molly Cruz kickstart my heart which you probably have heard too, but it may not be as familiar. And that song I don’t know what it just it just gets me pumped to do stuff like if I was gonna, if I was going to run a tough butter perhaps like that seems something crazy that I might do. I would like want to play that in my head or when I did do races like running races and I was doing them by myself. I would like play those songs in my head to get me pumped up so I’m not sure it would really relate to my, you know, my theme of a wrestler, but those are the songs I would pick.

Nice. I would pick Handel’s Messiah. I’m kidding.

Oh, I mean, I was just gonna be like, That doesn’t surprise me.

While everybody stands when that song is played, so I mean they’d be standing true. I don’t know if you’ve heard this song. But I’m gonna go out on a limb and think maybe you have it’s by the Congos Come with me now

I would have to hear the name doesn’t sound familiar.

I think I think it would be your your kind of jam. I think they’re like a South African or maybe Australian band but they’ve gotten a lot of notoriety here in the States. So I like it. It’s a pretty awesome it’s my pumpup song. like okay, if I’m driving to an appointment, or if I need a little pick me up and Starbucks isn’t doing the trick. I like to play some loud music in my car, so I can definitely see that being the song that plays s wrestler, Ben walks into the arena.

I’ve definitely you’re gonna have to send me a Spotify link for that because I definitely need to listen to it and see if that if that’s gonna pump me up if you’re wrestling and coming into the arena. I think it would. There’s another song and I know you’ve heard a bittersweet Symphony. Yes. That that that beginning. I’m not even gonna do it. But I can hear in my head. I’m like, that’s another one that gets me pumped up. That’s not like a rock song. But it just kind of has that like, yeah, pop it in my head. Right? If no one can see us. Yeah, yeah, that song. Maybe we’ll throw the links in there and you can relate. I’m not gonna throw the links of the first two. If you don’t know those. Don’t listen to our show,

right? But then there’s abstracts Ben, who likes music From you know other places and whatever

yeah I definitely don’t mind like music like classical music I think that being in band my whole life

yeah

definitely I enjoyed that I enjoyed playing that stuff so I don’t mind listening to it but I definitely wouldn’t be a wrestling pumpup song you know

yeah and you played trombone

no that’s the one brass I didn’t play from I went from cornet then I played a little bit of trumpet which is is very similar it’s harder to play. You have to your lips have to be tighter. Yeah, whatever reason, I don’t know on the mouthpiece. And then I went to baritone and then I went to tuba. Nice. Yeah. finished high school with tuba. So.

Hmm. I always think trombone for some reason.

No. Is there any other brass that I missing? I think trombone is the only other brass.

Yeah, yeah, I don’t know. Yes. Never a band geek.

No, definitely didn’t. That’s the only place like why geeked out and drama too. But anyways, awesome. Jumping into the show our personal update. You know, I had you I’m just gonna jump into the COVID stuff. I mean, I was editing a podcast tonight for my other show, and which was this past Wednesday, and I was incredibly congested, and blah, blah, blah. And it was it was rough. I appreciate my guest host it was not yes for really carrying the show. I didn’t ask him to but he seemed to step up. And it was incredible. So and I was able to edit a lot of my now, so that was nice. But yeah, I went to a podcast conference. I’m not sure if we’ve talked about that on the show. I’m kind of behind but just don’t remember if we did, but I went to a podcast conference and did not mask up. And it wasn’t required. But it was recommended. And I’m like, I’m vaccinated, blah, blah, blah. flew home Friday night. I got in Saturday, I already had like this dry little cough. And of course, it’s fine. I thought I went on the airport, or you know, it could have been some from the airplane. Which happens a lot. Oh, totally. And I did have a tough mudder scheduled for the 14th. And so in my head, I was like knots fine with training for this, it’ll be fine. And I told my buddy Mike, who I’m running with, hey, you know, I’m not going to get tested unless I get worse while I woke up Wednesday. feeling pretty miserable, or no, it was Tuesday. And so I decided to get a quick test. And actually, Mike hooked me up with one and it came back positive within like two minutes. So I was pretty sure I had it then got a regular one. And it came back today a little little late, but it would that it was positive. So yeah, it’s been rough. I’m thankful I’m vaccinated, because I’ve had some breathing issues, even just feeling tightness in my chest and like an elephant’s on it. And those kind of things. And I can’t imagine being unvaccinated and having these symptoms because I could be one of those stories you read everyday 45 year old guy, little overweight, but not any, you know, comorbidities active training, running and died of COVID. So I just think the Lord above that my brain is smart enough, at least in this to get a COVID vaccine,

right? No kidding. Yeah, I mean, we went on an airplane as well. And first, the other three of my family all came down with a bug and same thing I was like, it’s probably just from being on an airplane sharing all that same air with people for three plus hours at a time. Yeah. And then I started coming down with the crud. And it was right after Jason had got his positive test. I’m just like, shit, this might actually be COVID and not the bug that the rest of my family has been passing. Thankfully, my test came back negative.

Yeah, it’s incredible that you guys didn’t get it. I mean with it. I mean, you were kind of in remote areas. When we were out of town. It really stuck

to just the four of us, except for the people we visited. But yeah, like go out in crowded places.

My wife did ask me what I would I have messed up if I knew what did she say basically if I knew I could have gotten it or I was gonna get it would I mask up and I probably wouldn’t have I don’t feel like I was close with a lot of people but I don’t know it’s stupid. I’m so tired of this stuff. Yeah, maybe I would have messed up I don’t know. I’m not yes you have heard listen I’m not an anti massacre by any means. I follow the rules and the rules didn’t say I had to so I wasn’t gonna do it. I was vaccinated but yeah, thank God that I was because the symptoms were incredibly incredibly shitty, sir.

Now, what would you do if it was strongly encouraged that you wore a mask when it was still left up to you?

It was strongly encourage Ah, so you know, here here’s where the peer pressure falls in and I I’m going to be vulnerable and say it like Larry wasn’t wearing a mask. Either if he messed up, I probably would have because we’re hanging out together. Yeah. But I was kind of anti mask in Nashville. I was like, fuck this, like, Oh, damn it. Wrong show. But I’m just like, it’s, I’m vaccinated. I’ve done everything I could, things are opening up. Clearly the conference is confident that we can have this with, you know, I don’t know, I guess I should have maybe I would have I don’t know, I don’t know, you know, purebrowser. He wasn’t pressuring me not to wear it, but he just wasn’t

right. I only asked because our churches in that phase now where there they have not, they’ve made it very clear, this is not a requirement, we are not going to kick you out or remove you if you don’t wear a mask, but we really encourage you to wear a mask. So me having a heads up on that. Because I’m part of the leadership team. I knew it was coming. So I had a mask in my pocket. And I told my family before we left, you know, it’s they’re encouraging us to wear masks. While nobody else in my family wore a mask. So I just kept mine in my pocket. Similar thing, it’s the whole peer pressure.

Who I wouldn’t put my foot down and that point and said, You know what? I’m wearing a mask. Y’all are wearing a mask side. Don’t complete digression today, I learned Ben’s on the leadership team. Have we talked about this? I mean, yeah, we talked that you’ve said some things, but I didn’t know like that was an official role.

It’s considered I mean, it’s volunteer, but Oh, yeah. Life

Force coordinator. Okay. Okay. I guess. Okay. I’ll take my part of the leadership team. Okay. That’s fair. I guess there’s always different definitions. What leadership team,

right. I’m not like, I’m not certainly on the paid pastor level. I’m not on Mike’s level.

Right, right. No, I totally get that. I was just like, Wait leadership team, but I’ll be honest with you moving forward, though. I think I will probably mask up at church. Yeah, I think I’m going to tell my family, this is what we’re doing. And we’re going to be one of the one of the few but this did kind of rocked me a little bit like I I missed out in an incredible event that I can reschedule and we’re gonna end up doing it in June. Yeah, that’s right. June of 2022. That’s an that’s the next one that’s in Michigan. I want to do Pittsburgh. There’s one in Pittsburgh, it’s only six hour drive from my house to Pittsburgh. And Mike, I guess he’s busier in the fall, and just doesn’t want to take more time off. So I, I don’t know I’m kind of the one that got the COVID. So I kind of got to err on the side of he doesn’t want to do it. And he wants to wait till June.

That’s just sucks. Like I was thinking in the back of my head that Yeah, they had to reschedule but it’ll still be this year. I didn’t realize it was gonna be June.

Yeah, that’s what we’ve decided. And then it’s in Michigan, it’s closer, it’s only it’s near Flint.

So you just get to keep up with the whoop and the training and everything for another year. Well, Mike

and I are both running the half marathon in October. That’s true. So we have that I do have a little knee injury. So I’m kind of nursing that back. But I think what Mike’s doing too, is he wants something to keep him going through the winter and having that tough mudder I mean, essentially would probably do another one or pick another mud race, right? I didn’t have electric shocks, which I’m not looking forward to. I’m not gonna lie, I saw a video on Instagram, on the tough mudder page. And I’m like, this guy was like freaking out getting shocked. I’m like, I need to stop watching this like. So yeah, we’re shooting for June, hopefully to do the half marathon. So let’s talk a little bit about you before I finished my what I’ve learned today.

Yeah, we just talked about Ben being on leadership team and how that was kind of a new thing. And honestly, I’m a little bit overwhelmed by the whole church situation. I feel like I jumped in headfirst. And like, you know, usually people will dip their toe in the pool to check the temperature, make sure it’s gonna work. That’s not what I did with. With city life. I kind of just, we started going last year. And then I started getting involved in life groups. And then I told the pastor that, hey, I can help with life groups, and I’ll be the life group coordinator. And so here I am in this position of recruiting and getting people plugged into life groups, which are basically smaller groups within the church that meet for the purpose of encouraging one another and just doing life together. Well, here’s the sticker. I don’t know everybody at our church. So for me to be recruiting and finding leaders, and for me to be plugging people into life groups and to be following up with the people who are leading. A lot of these people I’m meeting for the very first time and I just feel like Whoa, I think I really feel like I’m connected here at this church. And yet, I’m on this, quote, leadership team. And I don’t know how I feel about all this just kind of got to a point where I had to pause and have a conversation with my pastor and just be like, this is where I’m at. And this is a whole lot going on. I’m not sure what to do with it. So if there was a valley or a low point, certainly not to the level of COVID-19 and having an event canceled, but that’s certainly something I’ve been wrestling with and giving a lot of thought to is just, how can I do this role well as life group leader, and how can I start getting plugged in so that I don’t feel like I’m among strangers as I’m going?

Well, setting that boundary, I think is incredible. And telling her that it did. It might feel awkward. Oh, it did. I

was in tears.

It’s tough to say no. In in I know, we all struggle as humans to say no. But yeah, I think it’s probably a good fit.

It certainly is a boundary. It’s not, I didn’t step away from my position. But I just said, this is how I’m feeling. Right? And I need some guidance and some pastoring from you and how to handle how I’m feeling. The boundary that I slash we, and we being Andy and I, the boundary that I did set was more for Andy, because she’s my spouse, she was automatically lumped into this, we call it the core group, and the core group of the church meets once a month, just to talk about how can we recover from COVID and get back to church life and one of the things that need to happen, it’s a very strategic group of people. And so my wife, who worked nights and wasn’t able to go to church, consistently over the last year, she was she felt like it was expected of her to join this group, because it was for leadership and spouses. So I basically asked slash told the pastor, I was just like, I don’t know if this is the right fit for Andy at this point in time, and perhaps releasing her from this responsibility might not be a bad thing. And I again, felt heard and valued and supported. And she was like, Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Well, if that would help, then certainly let’s, let’s just take Andy out of that group. And those expectations go. And so it was a good conversation, but a hard conversation, I had to be vulnerable and say, I don’t really feel connected to, you know, a lot of people at the church yet. And I mean, there’s a handful for sure. But as a general rule, I I’m not feeling connected. And I feel like I’m the one that’s supposed to be connecting people. What do I do? So that was my low point. Yeah,

I definitely feel a real sense of happiness, that the leadership handled that appropriately, as you’ve had trouble in the past with those kind of things. And I think as a church leader in leadership, they’re constantly wanting people to step in and help. And sometimes that can get, you know, responding to what you said, can kind of get a little blurry. And they might be a little not, I mean, I say this, but they might be a little bit assholey about it, you know what I mean? Because they don’t want to lose this person in that supporting the church and everything. So I’m just I’m just thankful that they responded appropriately. Yeah,

it was a very positive meeting. It was virtual, because again, I wasn’t feeling the greatest. So I’m sitting in my office in a virtual meeting and tearing up it was somewhat awkward, but you know, that was a low point. But from that low point came a lot of good. So

a couple other things for me, a new connection is not new. But Sam Hanim has her last name picks Oh, yeah, yeah, she, you know, we’ve, we were we talked a lot last winter, because we were both doing gig work. So we talked like daily, you know, and then I went back to work, and then she got a job and so we haven’t talked too much. And so about a couple of weeks ago, I’m like, Hey, man, we need to go out and have a beer just to catch up. And then I kind of forgot about it. And then she actually circled back and said, Hey, we’re gonna have that beer. And I was like, okay, like, I really appreciate that. So nothing, nothing life changing by any means as far as connection. But yeah, I mean, it was kind of cool that she circled back and Don’t know it just kind of felt good. Like, you just get that warm little Alright, she’s still thinking about our relationship. And we were really close. But like, we understood each other like, you know, I feel like there’s different people in your life and I feel like Sam can kind of hang I always say, can hang like I can say a dick choke and she’ll either come back with a better one, or call me an asshole. You know what I mean? And I’m like, it’s okay. And I don’t get heard about it. And she doesn’t get heard about it. And it’s kind of, but yeah, we can have we’ve had deeper conversations too about stuff and so awesome. Yeah. So hopefully, that at some point next week, we’re going to stop and grab a beer.

Oh, you haven’t done it yet? No. Well,

she hit me up for last week. Or she was she hit me up and then I was like, I I’m getting back from Nashville. I got a incredibly busy week. And then I have COVID Yeah, I don’t think she knows that yet. I haven’t really noticed it. But um, so and then real quick, one more thing I had. I love this today, I learned and and I search for stuff for that when it’s on the show that did you know, in Japan, 98% of adoptions are actually adult men between the ages of 20 and 30. Business often adopt their executives so that companies are family run.

What? Weird that so the executives adopt the adult men?

Yes. So I don’t know if they do it if they can do it. Like maybe there’s a loophole? Because like once you’re 18, you can’t adopt in the United States, at least in the States. Yeah. So I don’t know if it’s weird. Yeah, I don’t know if it’s different in Japan. And but then it’s like, well, it’s family run, but my need only Yeah, but but even so like, even if you had like a sister in law that all of a sudden came into your business. I mean, it technically wouldn’t be blood, either. But yeah, I just thought that was interesting. Right? You hear those? Yeah, you hear those? You want to dig in more, but then you’re gonna get in this rabbit hole. And

yeah, man. So yeah. Well, as you were talking about Sam and gig stuff, actually had a pretty meaningful conversation with Andy. And we just, you know, I just had to bring my car in for more repairs, I had to get new tires and oil change. And apparently a control alarm was busted. So how to get that fixed. It was almost like one of those come to Jesus moments where it’s like, all right, all this gig work. Yeah, sure, it might feel like it’s generating good income, but I have to get my car serviced so much more often because of the gig work. And because of that wear and tear. And so it’s at the point where it’s like, is this really worth it? So one of the things that I’ve been trying and experimenting with and having some success with is, I offer kayak trips, that’s my gig activity. I do it through Airbnb experiences, and people pay to go kayaking on my kayaks, and I transport them. And basically, they show up, I give him a quick overview of the trip, and make sure they know how to paddle and off they go. And they get to have this super cool experience. And I get to just chill for a few hours and, you know, check in with them from a couple places along the river. But there’s just been so many couples that it’s all been couples, except for the first one was just a gal from the east side of the state. But I’ve been forming interesting connections with these couples going out on kayak dates. And all of them have been from out of town. So they’re staying at an Airbnb and as a date night activity. They go kayaking, and it’s pretty awesome.

Yeah, like a work. I love I love that I love the entrepreneurship that you took in that I’ve always I have that entrepreneurship in my heart, you know what I mean? Like that’s, that’s something that I love to do. And and so one of the questions I had and I’ve known about this kayaking, so I’m not gonna be listeners don’t think that this is new for me. But one thing I haven’t brought up I thought about life jackets, do you require them to wear life jackets,

so I follow Michigan law, and it basically states that any person on a vessel on the water needs to have a PFD, personal floatation device, within arm’s reach, or quickly accessible to them. So my standard line is they’re getting into the boats is I recommend that you wear a life jacket. However, Michigan law gives you the option to choose whether you have it On your body or if you have it nearby and usually they just put them on now at the end of the trip I don’t think any of them have actually had the life jacket on okay when they get back but but yeah I’m not requiring them to wear it is just following Michigan law which says have it accessible

yeah I think like a normal like those old school orange ones would be incredibly hard to paddle now if you had a you know like the fitted ones that actually is like a vast I don’t think it would be too much of an issue but I was just thinking about that like

yeah we have the fasts so it’s all cattle

okay yeah especially for the kids they’re off by themselves I don’t think I make well Sally doesn’t go off by himself but Avery does I don’t think I make her wear one yeah probably should though cuz I yeah, yeah no I think about it probably should but no that’s true that’s very cool. I’m glad you’re getting some enjoyment making a little extra money on that

yeah, it’s it’s so much better than you know driving and putting all those miles on my car for a gig and then having to repair my car often and I’m going

to challenge you on that I’m going to challenge you on two things one I think that you’re versus a money pit I’m not going to lie into you’ve admitted to yourself you’re not as good and the maintenance is that you probably should be well I’ve been better about

it over the last couple of years.

Cricket Okay,

are those crickets I see a screen?

Yes. And you’re not gonna make the amount of money you make on gig doing kayaks? I mean, no can three $400 on a weekend you’ll make that maybe maybe in a month. Yeah,

yes.

Yeah, but yeah, and it’s only a three month or three or four month gig to

Well, I can go into the fall and do color tours. But that’s your dress warm.

Yeah, I’m not trying to shoot your idea down it’s it’s great. I love that you’re doing it you’re perfect for that I you enjoy kayaking, you want to pass the enjoyment on to other people why not do it and get

paid? Exactly. Awesome.

So Ben has a clip that he wants to play for Miss church Ben had kind of a you know obviously the emotional meeting with his pastor was wasn’t today right that was early this

it was earlier this week and then going to church this morning. Oh, it was just like one of those moments where you could just sense God’s presence in a very real way and it was to the point where I pulled out my phone just recorded an audio clip because I was like this is so good. I want to record this so I can play it back on a hard day. So as our faith segment for tonight show this is what we’re doing.

So that song I’ve heard it so many times like on the radio. I’ve heard it on Spotify on my worship playlist. But there was just something about it this morning when we did that song and I think it was just the creativity of the worship team. They they broke into this like improv part where they were talking about making away and it was just awesome to watching you typing we’re getting way off course.

I shouldn’t do that. Just realize I said maybe bring up the conversation with your son and I looked up Ben shear what’s defense response was I was like, I’m an idiot. You already said that. Sorry, I should not do that. I’m setting you up to laugh.

It’s It’s okay. Yeah, this is just what it is. So as we were doing that song, it’s a song that everybody knows quite well and our church does it often and I hear it often. But when they broke out into that part about God making away and just repeating it, where it seems to be no way he’s gonna make away he’s gonna make away he’s gonna make away and for whatever reason that just got me on a really deep level. And it was just a good reminder that I’m right where I need to be. Yeah, I’m really struggling figuring out this whole church thing, but it’s gonna be okay and God’s gonna work it out. And even though it feels like there’s a mountain in the way, sometimes there’s a way through, and that was just awesome. And then after church, we get in the car, one of the first things to find says is, I really felt the presence of God today. And he said it and just kind of, uh, we didn’t know if he was joking or being sarcastic or what. So Andy was like, Are you being for real? He’s like, yeah, for real, for real. And that was really good. So it was to the point where my 15 year old son who honestly doesn’t have a ton of interest in the church, even he was picking up on it. And it just was a very moving service this morning.

Yeah, that’s incredible that you felt that movement and that your Sunday to who doesn’t really talk about that? You kind of got to like put these written down somewhere serial, when you’re so when you’re having those moments of have issues with self doubt, and faith. You’re like, remember this, this is this is powerful, these kinds of things are powerful and are happening and yeah, that that’s really cool. I’m glad you guys got to experience that.

Yeah. And another thing about my son that I picked up on this weekend, we went to my parents house last night for the backyard barbecue. And my dad is the kind of guy that you pray before every meal, is just what we always do. So Stefan was wearing a hat. And nobody told them to, but when my dad prayed, he took his hat off as a sign of respect. And I was like, he totally he didn’t have to do that. So just shows me that there’s like, these Inklings in his head of, you know, this is how I pay respect to God. And then again, at church today, he wore a hat, but took it off during prayer and during worship, I think, and it’s just like, Hmm, I think some things are actually clicking that maybe I wasn’t aware of.

Well, let’s talk about that a little bit. What is your What do you think about that hat? Is it one of those? I mean, you have to take it, you can’t wear a hat in a courtroom. Yeah, you know what I mean? They will ask you to remove your hat. They don’t care what your hair looks like, right? But I feel like it’s one of those things, where do we really need to take the hat off? Like I noticed some people wearing hats to church to and I have that man, I’ve always taken it off during prayer, not during worship, although a lot of times I was in the back studio writing on stuff. But what is your thought on that? Is that one of those like Catholic things where they do all those stand Young’s during? Is it just one of those things? Or should we really be concerned about it?

I think it comes down to What’s your reason or rationale for taking it off. And the fact that I’ve never ever told my son, hey, you need to take your hat off, when we pray, or anything like that. I think he’s observed others doing it. And it’s his own. To me, my observation is He does it because he wants to, and it’s a sign of respect and reverence to God. So I think it really comes down to the person and the motivation behind it. Now, if my son was doing that, because he grew up with his parents telling him, you must take your hat off, it’s a sign of respect. And if you don’t, it’s a sin to God. I think it’d be very different. But of course, so I really think it comes down to, you know, what’s, what’s the rationale for it, if it’s just because this is what I was always taught. So this is what I’m gonna do, just like the Catholics always stand and sit at these points. Right, then I would probably not get as excited about it as I did this weekend, seeing my son do that.

Yeah, my guess is part of that, though, I would have to admit that he he probably just, I don’t know. I mean, if he’s not been around, and no one’s told him to do it, then maybe he’s like, well, I want to respect and so

and so his cousins had hats on. They didn’t take those off. Like it was just just what he did.

Very cool. Yeah. I’m still on the fence with that. When we talk like Amanda, when we had our last episode, we talked about the community and the kids taking it was like, no, not happening. You know what I mean? So I can see go either way on the hat. But I was just curious.

All right. Well, as we jump in to our next segment, before we get to the mental health Update, I’m going to follow the lead from our friend Mike. And the last time Mike was on the show. He had this idea that I thought was genius. And the way it works is Jason and I each have two questions for each other. And we don’t know what they are. We didn’t have time to prepare, prepare an answer to these. We’re just going to answer them on the spot. And I’m going to let Jason pick if he wants to ask or answer first.

We’ll answer.

All right, you want both questions or just one at a time?

Oh, come on, let’s not get cray cray. I’m gonna struggle with one. Can we do a half a

question? Yes, we can do have a question. No. All right. My first question for you, Jason is other than guns? What is your most conservative viewpoint or trait? Other than owning guns and being a gun advocate, what else makes you quote conservative?

Yeah, I mean, I actually probably have two things. And when I talk about politics, and if someone asks where I stand, these are, you know, guns is the one thing I bring up. And it’s not the first or the most important. One of the things is conservative with money, when the government is conservative with money. But I’m also torn with that, because as I’ve gotten gotten older, and, and my views have changed a lot on stuff, you know, I was like, Oh, those people on welfare, I’m working my ass off bah, bah, bah. And, well, I think there needs to be some reform of that. I think it has its place. And I think I am happy to give money towards that for people that need to get food and stuff like that. But before I mean, I was like, now you earn your own. And so I would say I’m conservative with money. I just want the government to spend the money appropriately. And I think that’s not too much to ask.

Yeah, that’s fair. Well, you are certainly an oddity, I mean, for many reasons, but usually, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. So for you to be able to shift in your thinking about welfare recipients. What, what changed or what brought you to a point where you’re like, Okay, maybe there is something to this.

You know, in general, I think I’ve started to lean more towards the left. I mean, that the actual big turning point was Donald Trump. This is the first election that I vote voted emotionally and not because I think this is the best candidate. So I actually feel a little guilty about that, but I’ve talked about it before, but I don’t know what’s made me in general switch towards I feel like it’s switching to more kindness. In general, like I feel like I need I need we need to be kinder to people and honestly, I’m not saying the right isn’t kind of people don’t get me wrong. I’m not I’m definitely not I know. Very incredible was my my, my bosses are way right leaning. And they’re, they’re incredible people like they give so much away to charity and stuff. So I’m not saying that. But just in general with the themes of LGBTQ and racism and those kinds of things. I’ve just felt like this is this is the side I want to lean towards. So And the third thing would be a small government. I think, again, the government gets involved in so much crap that doesn’t need to be involved with it. Unfortunately, that’s usually the left side that does that. So those would be the three things I would say my are kind of things that I stick to on the conservative side.

Yeah. And as you were talking about that, like your boss’s being just genuinely good people. And I would say since the time of Trump, so recently, I never would take somebody’s political persuasion into perspective, when I was determining whether or not they’re a good person. But now is a vulnerable moment. It’s like, if I, you know, really admire somebody, but then I find out that they voted for Trump, or that they’re, you know, far right leaning that I’m just kind of like, this was like, really, I can’t follow them. And I feel bad saying that because I’m, I’m part of the problem. But right, so much of my view of people is unfortunately centered around how they show up politically. And that’s really sad, because I feel like I’m not giving people a true benefit of the doubt.

Yeah, I want to, I want to flip. Yeah, I want to flip that a little bit. If you did not ever see anything about why shouldn’t say that. If you knew everything you did about Donald Trump, right? All the things he stands for the things he says right, but you weren’t able to see what people say about Donald Trump on I know, this is like completely hypothetical. But on social media, like you didn’t see the trumpers you didn’t see them screaming. You didn’t see that you knew everything about Donald Trump as is. But you didn’t see that. Would you still have the same thought of the people that voted for Trump? Does that make sense? I think I would.

And the reason for that is because I try really hard not to just follow the crowd and not to just have a knee jerk reaction to things. I really try to get the background information, like dig into things. So I think my tendency to dig in and research would certainly kick in. I think there might be early indicators or warning signs from Trump that would cause me to go, Hmm, I need to look into that. But but in the same breath, I have to admit that it’s easy to do that kind of work when there’s so many people who are upset with him. So it makes it almost easier or support consequence.

Right, or support them. There’s the same amount of people, it seems but yeah, so that would be my answer to all that. That was? That was a really good question. My first question is, I’d like for you to describe or tell me what your thought process would be. If someone came to you and said they wanted to be a foster parents. So would you give them the rah rah, you can do it blah, blah, blah? Or would you do the Jason like, Listen, it is impactful, it is inspiring, it is great, but it also is dogshit. At times. I’m just curious what you would if someone wanted to foster?

Yeah, that’s really a great question. I was on social media recently. I mean, what am I not? I mean, it’s an addiction. At some point, I’d look at my screen use time, and it’s just like, oh, boy, oh, but in one of those scrolling sessions, I’m part of a foster care Facebook group for providers, and somebody posted something like, Yay, I just got licensed Any tips? And there was a big part of me that wanted to just lay it all out there like, welcome to hell, baby, cuz this is gonna get really rough really fast.

Can I can I interrupt and say why this isn’t starting, like Uber, like you’ve done the research like you’re asking for? It just seems weird for foster care, right? Like, yeah, someone said, Hey, I got a new Samsung TV. And he tips like, that seems normal, but like, Hey, I’m gonna take care of broken kids, any tests? Like, it just seems crazy to me that someone asked that

it was so frustrating, because it’s like, they’re going into this with this mentality. That’s probably honestly very similar to what my mentality was going into it. And they’re just like, I’m gonna change the world. And it’s like he, no, actually your life is about to get a whole lot more difficult. So I think there’s an absolute need for more foster parents. 100%, undoubtedly, if somebody came to me and said, I’m thinking of being a foster parent, if they’re a close friend, or you know, somebody that I really value, I would warn them and caution them and be like, Are you sure? Or how do you know this is what you want to do, right? And just kind of really be honest, like, this is a very brave and noble thing that you’re doing 100% but you need to be ready for a lot of pain and a lot of hurt. And it’s not just going to go away overnight. Not only are you going to be in pain and hurting, but you’re going to be caring for children who come with hurt and pain. And if you haven’t dealt with your own shit. You’re just gonna be adding to the shit pile and it’s gonna be a shit show. So are you really sure you’re gonna do this?

That’s such a great tip about if you know are you have you dealt with whatever you’ve had, you know, especially if you know that they have some some shit. You know, I mean, like, if you know, like, have you worked through this? I mean, it’s hard to do that though. Right? Because you like you want to be loving to them, but you also like, you know how much pain it can cause for and for the foster parent and you it’s your friend, and you want to love on them. But what about somebody that wasn’t your friend? Random not not not the random lady on Facebook, but like, maybe an acquaintance but you don’t know anything about them. Really?

Yeah, if somebody came to me and said that they were going to be becoming foster parents. I think I would be cautiously supportive. And just I don’t know that I would give them the full burn on how bad it is. Right? But I would probably preface things with that’s great. But you’re going to really have to be ready for a lot of difficulties. This is not going to be a rainbows and sunshine type of journey. Are you okay with that?

Yeah. No, I think that’s a good response. And it’s, it’s always hard to, you want to help you want them to be cautious, but you also don’t want them to, you don’t want to shoot down their dreams, if that’s what they’re passionate about. And it really could, like make or break a friendship to like, came if, like me my intensity at times, if I came hard in the paint, like it could really break, break that friendship. So,

yeah, it brings up an experience I had with that I have a friend of mine, a good friend, honestly, that I’ve been in touch with over the years since college. And back when we were considering taking in a sibling group of three, everybody that we talked to in our circle that were so supportive, except for Greg, Greg was like, Are you sure? And he was not one to quickly show emotion or anything. He was just like, yeah, about that. I don’t know if that’s the best idea for you. And he was the only person that really cautioned or challenged us. And as you’ve heard from listening to previous episodes, it was a disaster, we opened ourselves up to an immense amount of heartache and pain. The Supreme Court in Oregon overturned our ability to adopt them, essentially. And, you know, if I would have just listened to Greg’s advice, perhaps that could have been avoided. Yeah,

I mean, I think it was good of him to bring it up. And you know, maybe at the time you didn’t, you didn’t heed his advice, or maybe didn’t even think about maybe blew him off. I don’t know.

He blew him off. Yeah, cuz everybody else in my life was, like, pumping me up. And like, this is amazing what you’re doing.

Yeah. But how many of that was legit pump or stayed in the back of their head said, ooh, man. Like,

it’s a good question. Yeah, that’s a really good question. I don’t know. I don’t know the answer to

that. I’m not saying they were all to face but they all probably were pumping you up. But then did did have some reservations, but didn’t feel comfortable. This is where we’re talking about those uncomfortable conversations. I didn’t feel comfortable expressing them to you good or bad. That’s just a human thing. I’m not blaming them. I mean, we all do the same thing.

Right? But that’s really good.

What is your question for me your second one? Yeah,

so something that has honestly stuck with me since the episode you did with Mike. I have a couple of questions. I won’t get to all of them. But Mike asked you when you felt most alive, and it was difficult for you to come up with an answer to that. So I’m going to ask you the opposite question. When have you felt the most? Not dead? But opposite of alive? What was like rock bottom for you? Is it it? Maybe I don’t even need a specific answer. I guess what I’m getting at is is is it easier for you to look at your life from the lens of this is what rock bottom looks like? versus this is what it feels like to be alive.

Hmm I mean, if I say that it kind of makes me look like a pessimist which I am Unfortunately, I can’t say I mean, I talked about on another show, you know, getting involved with the police getting you know, arrested and stuff and so that was definitely a incredibly low point in my life. I don’t think I’ve ever hit like that rock bottom. As much as I struggle with things I’ve never been like this is it like, this is it and so I don’t I can’t really elaborate too much on unless you have some additional questions. But yeah, I just, I just really can’t think of I mean, those are some rough times. Like I look back to them saying those two or three years were rough. Bye bye. Like even growing up to like, I don’t remember a moment where I don’t know if I ever said this. And I probably should like I need to get out of here. You know what I mean? And just because of the abuse, but right. But yeah, I look back at that those times. And I would probably say that was but you know, you think of rock bottom, like when you’re an alcoholic or a drug user and you’re right yeah, I killed my grandma’s cat and to get some money or whatever it was like, or I killed a cat because somebody asked me to do it for five bucks. Like, yeah, that’s your rock bottom. Like it’s time to get help.

Right? Well, I guess the reason that I asked that is I was honestly a little bit sad. Surprised. I’ll say yeah, hear you say that. You don’t recall a time where you felt most alive? I don’t know. Like, that’s just something that, for me at least is an easy question to answer, like, when do I feel the most alive? Well, when I’m at the Oregon coast, I think that’s probably the top of my list or on the day I married, Andy, but why do you think it’s difficult for you to identify when you felt or feel most alive?

I don’t know. It’s kind of sad. Like, like you said, there’s a little like, I mean, I can take the easy way out and say, Well, my memory is terrible, which it is. I mean, you can talk to anyone in my family, my wife included that I’m on the struggle bus. So that stuff like I don’t remember a lot of stuff that was spoke about even when I when we talked on the podcast here, I say, we may have talked about that. I have no idea. But I don’t know it does, it does kind of bummed me out. That I don’t have that exhilarating feeling, because I know what you’re talking about. I mean, I can imagine it. You know, I’d brought up on the show with Mike that music is very makes me feel alive. But I really can’t I don’t know anything off the top of my head that is in like, impactful. So maybe that’s something I need to talk about with my therapist. Well, it doesn’t bother me but you bring up makes think I’ll shed Am I am I taking note of the things that are happening in my life that are incredible. Again, there’s that word. Is that an issue?

Yeah, it was, it was enough for me to just pause for a minute, I was doing something that helps me feel alive. As I was listening. I was on a bike ride. And when I heard Jason say that, he had a hard time identifying when he felt the most alive. It definitely, I don’t know, I think maybe I hurt for you a little bit. It was like, that’s really sad.

Yeah, it kinda is. Thank you for bringing the room down. No, it at the moment in the moment, it didn’t really make me feel sad. But now that I reflect back on it, that’s maybe something I should look into is if I can, you know, pinpoint some time in my life that, you know, through some exercises, you know, therapists are great at that shit, you know, and oh, yeah, they can pull a lot out. That’s what they’re paid to do. So. Yeah, I appreciate you asking. But yeah, I don’t have anything sad trombone or my question. So this isn’t, this popped in my head. This is not a personal question. But there it’s a it’s a current event question. So I’m you being on social media. I know, you know, the story that the Taliban is taking over Afghanistan, and currently people are fleeing, and there’s refugees, the President himself of Afghanistan has left the country. And so my question to you is, as you think about that, and you think about how long we’ve been there over 20 years, what is your thought of us pulling those we, you know, we pull our troops out, finally, all started with Obama, you know, in continuing continuing? What do you feel about that? Do you feel like once we went into that country, it’s our responsibility as a country to maintain it? Or do you think like, it’s good that we’re falling out? And you know, that what’s happening is not our problem?

Yeah, that’s a loaded question. I’m gonna go back and make a connection to what I said about stuff on and the hat. No, this is real.

Wow, I can’t wait for this. Yeah. So

with Stefan in the hat, like, his intentions to me showed through pretty quickly. And so when I look at the situation in Afghanistan, and the Taliban and people fleeing for their lives, and the troops leaving and everything else, like it leads me to question what was their intent in going in the first place where they going? Because they had a genuine and I’m talking they meaning really, anybody from the president who initiated things to the troops that were actually deployed there to the political figures on in both countries? Like for me, the question I always go back to is what’s the intent and I honestly don’t really believe or think that we had the best of intentions in going there to help. I think we saw a country rich in oil. And this was a way that we could capitalize on that. And so I think that because we went into it with such mixed intentions and views, and the whole thing’s just as always felt shady to me. The arrangements and everything else. Yeah, I think I am supportive of of leaving because I feel like things have just gone And so convoluted and messy and so off from what they should have been that I don’t know that our presence there is really, truly making much of a difference at all. I think there’s far deeper issues.

So you know, people can I kind of Google a little bit as you’re talking because you were saying the reason that we went in there, I’m pretty sure the reason we went in there was because of 911. Yes. So I mean, I mean, we’re like, EFF this, you messed with the wrong, you know, what do they say you mess up the ball, you get the horns, and we’re like, you did this? We’re going after you. Yeah, of course, there’s always advantages of going in there. But so you’re you’re genuinely thinking that their thought was because of oil?

Well, it’s a big part of it. Yeah. Yeah. They weren’t so rich in that resource. Would we have been so gung ho,

that’s a good thought. I just wanted to clarify, like, I thought we went in because of 911. And,

and there’s even I don’t want to get into the conspiracy theories, by course. But some people, and maybe they’re right, maybe they’re not. But some people feel as though we attributed we quickly attributed that attack to Osama bin Laden, and just ran with it. And, and again, because oil, that’s one of the theories, that they just put it on that person from that land, because there would give us the right to take over essentially. Now, I don’t think I know, I don’t support that conspiracy. Theory fully. But there is a big part of me that, again, questions? Would we have had such ties to this country? And would we have been so passionate about our response and drag that response out over the course of 20 years? If oil was not a resource that they were rich in?

Yeah, I mean, I can, I can definitely agree with you. I, I there’s probably some validity to that response. You know, why we go into certain areas and where we don’t? And we’ll never know, you know, I mean, we won’t. But in the 2021 time, what do we do now, like, in my mind, so what are you going to? You’re going to let the Taliban take over Afghanistan? And then what do we do now they have complete control of a country, they can do whatever they want, and they’re, you know, we’re never gonna get back in there. I mean, the only thing you do is drop a big, big gas bomb on that place and call it a day. I mean, I guess. And again, I don’t know if it’s the US job to do that. But I

mean, have they committed an act of war against the United States since 911?

The Taliban? Yeah. Well, I mean, I don’t know what the definition of an active war. I mean, there’s been bombing. What about the Boston bombing?

Yeah, I don’t know. Like, have they done anything directly? That would justify a response of war. Yeah, I haven’t, then. I don’t think we need to get involved. I don’t know.

Right? I mean, again, we are laymen talking about this, y’all. So if you’re getting screaming at your, your iPhone right now, like don’t don’t think that we’ve actually done a bit of research on it. It just popped into my feed, and I’ve been kind of, you know, I’ve been kind of bummed about it. Like, this is where I feel like America needs to be like, yes, if you are a refugee of Afghanistan, please come to America. Like that’s where I’d lean to the left like you’re you’re seeking asylum your your country’s falling apart, please come but I don’t know. I I feel like this is a bad move. I feel like us slowly pulling the troops out is a bad move. Because it’s just going to turn into a shit show over there. Yeah, and again, it already is, is it our job to jump in and in and do things? I mean, think about all the other countries around that too. Like it’s, and again, is it our job and always goes back to is our job to police the world? And? No, I don’t think it is, but we’ve already committed they’re like, I don’t want us to go into I don’t know.

But can you say you’re pro small government? If you feel it’s our responsibility to be involved in Afghanistan?

I think because we’ve already gone in there. I think it is our responsibility. That’s what I was gonna say if there’s a country that we haven’t entered yet. Sure. I don’t think it’s our responsibility, unless it’s like, acts of, you know, whatever, terrorism, whatever, because we’re part of the UN too. So it’s not like, we just sit over here, but I also think and throw up in my mouth, the amount of money we spent on an F 18. You know, let’s buy one less FA teen and get rid of hunger. Yeah, right. I mean, why can’t the end I know America gets a lot of money away, but like why can’t we take this money for these two f A teens that are like, I don’t know $3 billion and and give it to UNICEF or whatever. Like, can you imagine what they could do with that incredible amount of money?

Yeah, and getting a little bit more derailed, but the nucular race between US and Russia like, as a country, we are sitting on billions of dollars of nuclear warfare of nuclear warheads like in North Dakota and South Dakota, I think is where they’re stored. It’s just like this. It’s almost a excuse my crassness, but it’s almost who has a bigger dick, Russia or us. Yes. Again, I think we have some priorities that need to be evaluated. And why are we sitting on this huge nuclear stockpile that can obliterate a whole landmass? And yet we have a problem with hunger?

Well, landmass, if we went to war with Russia, the earth will not exist, like, yeah, there’s so much nuclear weaponry between both of them, no one’s gonna attack each other, because they know we’re gonna wipe out the planet, like, yeah, that’s why it was a little scary when Trump I mean, I wouldn’t say he was gonna do it, but he scared the shit out of me. Like, I’m like, Yeah, I mean, obviously, we have different levels, and he would he probably would get denied on that. But for God’s sakes, like, if, if we both launch it, we’re all dead? It’s true. So maybe, maybe, you know, I don’t know, if they’re still creating them. But like, I agree with you, like, let’s stop spending so much on military. And let’s focus a little bit on, you know, feeding people,

right? I mean, basics, like, how could we have this amazing nuclear program? And yet, in the very same country, have kids who don’t know where their next meal is coming from? Like, why doesn’t that? How does how does that not sit well with our government leaders? and Why doesn’t anybody do anything about it?

Well, I’m gonna, I’m gonna be authentic and say it, that applies to me, too. I have some extra money that I could help the homeless with, you know what I mean? And maybe I choose to buy that thing on Amazon instead, you know, so we’re all we’re all guilty of having extra money and not focusing on you know, the hunger or, you know, I always try to look at the basic needs, like, you know, there’s a lot of other charities out there that I support that, that it doesn’t matter, it’s not a basic need thing. So maybe I need to reevaluate where I put my money. That’s one way I start small, kind of had a little epiphany moment here, like we’re bitching about the government. But how much money have I donated to like, kids food basket, you know, $0? Sure. So anyways, now that we solve the world’s problems, right, now, we can all go home, right? going to touch base on mental health, and then kind of wrap up ours is mine’s kind of the same thing as doing the once a month. Last episode. last meeting, Megan and I went together and this one Wednesday, we probably are, I’m curious what my therapist going to do. I mean, I’ll technically be off quarantine on Wednesday, but my guess is she’s gonna tell me to stay away. But I or she’s just gonna go remote in general. But yeah, we’re doing the check ins. So you’re gonna hear a lot of Meghan and I mental health things just because that’s what we’re focused on right now. And we started the book. We read through the first quote, unquote, and they’re kind of not chapters of Rene browns, cracks. It’s gonna kill me. You know, I powered my phone down, because I was worried my alarm is gonna go off at 830. The gifts of imperfection. Thank you. Thank you, Jesus. So I’m listening to it on Audible. Again, I actually signed up for audible. And so that’s cool. And we’re just kind of going through it. And we talked today for about 90 minutes. To say, go back to the COVID thing. My kids and dogs are gone. They have been gone since Wednesday, because we were going to be gone. So I’ve had no kids or dogs since Wednesday. I just mean Megan. So we’ve we’ve got to spend some time together. And so yeah, we had 90 minutes of no interruption today. So that was incredible. So yeah, we’re working through that book, hoping we can kind of figure some, you know, better communication things, and just, in general, better relationship.

Nice. Well, for me, I’m at this point, that somehow in my last therapy session, we were talking and I was basically giving a recap of how great things were in life and how awesome our vacation was and how meaningful The trip was, and all these things. And as I’m talking I’m just becoming more and more aware of this thought that do I really need to be here every week, and I didn’t want to acknowledge that But my therapist being as brilliant as he is, towards the end of the session, he’s like, Ben, I feel like there’s something that you’re not saying that perhaps you should say. And I was like, well, and then I started editing myself and trying to be filtered. And he looks at me, he’s like Ben, unfiltered, just say it. And I was like, Okay, fine. I think the elephant in the room is I’m questioning whether I need to be here every week. And he goes, why is that so hard to say? Like, that’s a completely normal thing. And I would hope we would talk about that. And so it just opened up this conversation, of course, at the end of our session, and then he was on vacation last week. Okay. But that’s the kind of the way we left our session was acknowledging that perhaps I have experienced some growth and healing and maybe once a week is not totally necessary anymore, and just trying to wrestle through Okay, well, what does that look like practically? And do we go to every other or once a month? Or are we just done? Like, it made it really awkward? And I’m not really sure where I stand on, you know, how often I want to engage in therapy?

Well, I think it’s honestly, you being, I think you’re just scared. I mean, that that I with your therapist saying, you know, it’s okay, or be unfiltered while you’re being a little nervous about it, because it’s a little scary, right? You’re dropping down your support system a little bit. So whether you’re ready for it or not, it’s still a scary thing. And it is awkward to kind of talk about and I find like, Heather, I mean, I know she doesn’t listen, I don’t know if she doesn’t listen, but she always almost like if I bring up any inclination like that. She’s like, Oh, well, I actually got I am on the struggle bus. Sorry. I actually get frustrated when she does because it feels like she’s trying to drop me. Yeah, even though she’s being like that too, a little bit. And maybe that’s maybe that’s something they teach in school, like, give the person the space that they need, but like, just because I bring it up a little bit, like I’m not looking to drop like I’m looking for you to like, let’s work on. I know I can drop when I want like, I’m like Heather in my head. I’m like, you know me, I’m blunt. If I don’t want to do it, I’m not going to do it. So instead of keep suggesting that say, well, let’s let’s work out why you’re feeling that way. You know what I mean? Yeah, so I mean, if she doesn’t listen this Well, that would be awkward in the in session, which is I heard your episode about that. Let’s talk about it. Oh, my gosh, shit. By um,

I’m going on the assumption that Shawn might listen, and I’m okay with that.

Yeah, it’s okay. But I guess my point is, I’m frustrated that my therapist brings it up every time like, let’s let’s, let’s actually talk about the reasoning why? I don’t know. But

yeah. And one of the things that Shawn said, too, is, you know, I came up with the objection of, no, I need to keep doing this because I still have stuff that I’m working on in my life. And he pauses and in very articulately says, well, there’s always going to be things in your life that you need to work on. Whether or not you need my help to work on those is really, really what we’re talking about here. And it’s okay, if you don’t need that help. If you can handle things on your own. That’s a good thing.

Yeah, it’s scary, though, man. Like, it’s scary. Like I backed off to once a month and I’m not leaving because I don’t wanna lose my spot. Right? You know what I mean? Like, I feel like she’ll fill right up, and that’s sure that’s it’s not been validated that concern so like, I could be just full of shit. But um, but I yeah, I don’t know. I mean, it’s kind of a scary thing, doing it on yourself, because then you’re like, you think you’re okay, I’ve made all this progress. If I stopped seeing my therapist, am I getting it went? Well, how quickly Am I going to fall back into my old ways? Is there anybody they’re gonna they’re gonna hold me accountable? Like my wife? Probably not. Because that’s tough for wives or spouses to do that. Yeah, there’s there’s a lot of unanswered things. So I wish I could give you like, yeah, just slow down and a confident answer, but I can’t.

Well, I think in our relationship, you would feel comfortable enough that if you saw that I was slipping or struggling, you’d say something. And in fact, frankly, it’s due in large part to you that I started seeing Shawn in the first place two years ago, so there’s that.

Yeah, I mean, in general, I think you’ve grown. I think you’ve made progress. Just knowing the friendship before but then I also wonder, Is this just a natural thing because of threads because threads has changed me quite a bit too. Or is it a natural thing just with our friendship has that you know what I mean? Is that something that’s made you change? I don’t know. So I’m sure it is therapy. And I guess you and I haven’t really sat down and said, I’ve worked on these things with Shawn. And this is where I’m at, like, I don’t really know what’s and that’s totally fine. I’m not saying I need to know. But it could be all those things. So maybe if you did drop down to once a month, it would be fine. I don’t know. And that’s just kind of where I’m at with that.

Yeah. And there’s a part of me, too, that feels like I need to be in weekly therapy. Because I’m telling other people that they need to go to therapy. Yeah, if I suddenly become this in frequent flyer at the therapists office, and I’m telling people that they need to go to therapy, it’s like, it makes me feel hypocritical.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, that shouldn’t keep you in therapy. But it’s definitely something that would cross my mind as well. Yeah. So

well, as we wrap up the show, just wanted to share a quick takeaway, something that stood out to us from our conversation, it doesn’t have to be anything super deep. For me, it was good for me to hear Jason talk about a lot of different things. Honestly, I’m replaying the conversation. And I’m having a hard time planning on just one. But I want to go back to our conversation about you talking about your bosses and how they are. They see things differently, politically, whatever. But every time I hear you talk of them, you talk so highly of them, and you’re very supportive of them. And it’s just, I don’t know, I guess my takeaway is I need to work on that. Because all too often I let people’s political position, dominate how I see them. And that’s just a growth area for me. So just hearing you talk about people who don’t necessarily align with you publicly, and how you’re still uplifting of them is a good check point for me.

While I appreciate that feedback, honestly, it’s easy for me to be uplifting, because they’re great people, you know what I mean? Like it’s I try to look at the person, not their political leanings. I mean, I don’t know who they vote for who they voted for, but I assume it was right leaning just because how I know them. And and I’m okay with that. It doesn’t bother me. I think I think everyone could, if you could take anything from this show, man, like, Just don’t be a dick with people with politics. Like they’re human beings, like, you know, just don’t don’t judge them on who they vote for judge them on their actions. Yeah, it doesn’t matter who they vote for, and matters how they treat you and how they treat others.

Yeah. So it’s so interesting, because back when I lived in Oregon, I never really cared what people’s political persuasion was. But going back and visiting, like, I had to catch myself several times. Like, I don’t know if I should really seek to connect with this person, because I’m not sure where they stand politically. Oh, wow. I just, it’s just, yeah, it’s tainted my view all too much.

That’s interesting. That’s an interesting comment that you’re actually thinking about that I don’t have to actually think about it. Unless somebody brings up a topic and is kind of jerky about it. I just don’t ever look for I don’t ever look at that. So

yeah, I think it’s a maturity growth. Edgar, for me. So what about you? What’s your takeaway?

I wasn’t gonna say one, but thanks. I was just gonna rap You jerk. No, I guess my takeaway would be I don’t know. I was kind of bummed about the sadness for me about the the when I you know, no time that I felt alive. And I don’t want you to feel bad about it. That’s not my intent about bringing it up. It’s just more of a reflection of that really does suck. You know, like I really should explore why that’s not happening. Yeah,

I mean, usually when I listened to a podcast, it’s things don’t stick with me like they have with that comment. Like I heard it and it’s just been playing in my head like that really is bothersome for me so well. I was glad we could talk about

it. Yeah, it was it was that was impactful for me and it’s gonna make me to pause and try to figure out why and I’m sure when we’re done recording night I’ll actually ask Megan about it because it’s a it’s something I think I need to think about so Absolutely. Thank you guys for listening to threads podcast. I really appreciate it next week, is I we shouldn’t say this because then one of us COVID again, but I think next week we’re sitting down with Ben son. So that should be interesting. Very well being I’m not I’m on board, but I’m Yes, cautiously onboard cautiously because I know how teenagers respond to things and I worry that it’s going to be haha. Yep. Nope. But it really shall see. And then the week after that will be Meg and enough that I was supposed to be tonight and then we got to plan for September. All right, have a good night, guys. Thanks

Transcribed by https://otter.ai