Transcription #132

Hi guys, welcome to threads podcast episode 132. My name is Jason, I’m one of the hosts in bed. Thank you for joining us tonight or tomorrow whenever you’re listening to this kind of got a personal format episode tonight before we do that Ben’s gonna do a super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super short intro into threads in tonight’s direction. Hopefully it’s shorter than the super supers

mental how faith and uncomfortable conversations are the things we talked about on the threads podcast.

Jason,

back to you, Jason back to you.

We’re gonna try to limit these a little bit, get these things going get right into the episode, you may or may not hear some housekeeping stuff in the middle of the

episode. You bastards have been fast forwarding. You can hear it, you’re gonna hear it one way or another it as long as we remember to put it in there. Right? That’s gonna be the key right there.

Right there.

Now let our super quick intro to threads is done. Let’s just jump right into the icebreaker. Let’s do it. What are we doing tonight for icebreaker, the icebreaker tonight is we have this resource we use called pod decks. It is a deck of cards with questions on them essentially. And the whole point is to help podcasters have discussion material to chit chat about so before we get too deep into the weeds of our weeks and how things are going. We’re just going to have a little bit of fun. Talk about some random shit and see what happens. Yeah,

Ben and I haven’t actually recorded together in quite some time. So it’s nice to do that. And so this should be fun. I will go first. So am I asking you or do I have to answer? I don’t care what you got to pick me. Okay. Benjamin, what are you struggling with this week?

I am struggling with energy levels. You didn’t it didn’t turn around today for you. I did not want it to and I even I had coffee. I had a Coke Zero and just feel. I don’t know. Maybe it’s the weather honestly. It has a big impact on my well being usually so I’m struggling to just get momentum built this week. I hit my snooze. No, I woke up before my alarm. And instead of getting out of bed and starting my day, I just rolled back over and went back to sleep and ended up sleeping until you know eight o’clock Do you

think maybe that was your downfall and he should have got up at six when you woke up?

Yeah, I’m like cuz I had the that. Let’s get out of bed that. But I ignored when is

it good to get up and do that because like I’ll wake up at 330 to pee I’m pretty sure. My body’s like, ya know, back to bed. Now if I woke up at six I’d be like, especially on a work day. Yeah, although I set my I mean, I’m usually up by 530 anyways, but yeah, you probably should got up at six. Yeah, I probably would have helped. So I’m just struggling with energy levels. Well, it’s only Monday. So yeah, we’re recording on an off night. So yeah. All right. What do you got for me? Name one thing that you quit and tell why. Marriage? Wow. Oh, gosh. One thing I quit was beekeeping. I mean, I have a lot of hobbies that I’ve started in, quit, quit, quit. Quit English one on one. Private School, yo. Yeah, I’ll say beekeeping. It was really cool. And I think it’s super important for people to do that. And obviously, you know, everyone saved the bees, whatever. And I do still have that attitude, but I just kind of lost passion about it. It’s, it’s, it’s not a ton of work, but there was so much that had to go into it. As far as like, what to do and stuff like that. Now, there’s a lot of beekeepers that they just get the bees and they just let them do whatever they want to do, right? They let them make babies, they let them if they fly away, they fly away. They don’t do anything with you know, anything like that. But I you know me I can’t be hands off. So I have to be more like involved with that. And I just felt that it was just too complicated and goats for me to worry about and I was spending a lot of money me and my partner, you know, we would buy the bees which were like $110 a package. How many came in a package? 10 to 15,000 Oh, wow. Yeah, crazy. So then that hive would die or the queen would be you know, whatever didn’t work out or she died or they would fly away. They would get too big if you didn’t catch them. When they got too big. They would go though basically what they do is and this type of weather, you will see posts I guarantee on Facebook of like, I got this V Hi this. This is a big clump of bees hanging from the tree. They’re just all chill sitting there. I cannot figure remember the word for what it’s called. It’s gonna drive me nuts. It’ll pop in like an hour. But basically they’ve run out of room, and they’re going to find a bigger place. Interesting. Yeah. And that’s they’re very docile, then you can take when it’s like, in the morning or at night. You can take that branch and just shake them into a box. Just shake. It keeps shaking, they will not sting you. Weird. They’re, they’re protecting the queen and not protecting her. But they’re they’re all like, I don’t know what the word for it is. Oh, it’s a swarm. That’s when the bees swarm. Yeah, swarming, defined a bigger location. But anyways, you can see how complicated it gets. Right? Kidding. So that’s kind of what I quit. I sell the equipment in the barn. But yeah, I would be so pissed if they just left. Especially when we spend money. See, that’s the key is to get a swarm, put your feelers out on Facebook and say, Hey, if you ever get a beehive, let me know. Obviously send a picture I had a lot of people send me pictures. I’m like, those are asshole bees. I’m not coming to do anything for them, if you want them killed called Wheaton fee, right? But no, that’s how a lot of people do it. They just collect swarms so that it’s free. Hmm. So then so you’re not and then again, you’re getting these bees from either Georgia or California. They come here, I would take the Queen that came with by a northern Queen from the up. I would take the Georgia Queen squasher head and put the up one in there. Because again, the genetics from Georgia California aren’t made for this kind of weight. So that’s I mean, it’s so called it’s like Game of Thrones shit. seemed very passionate about it still. I do I actually loved talking about it. Why did you quit? I mean, that’s, it’s just kind of I just lost. Like, I’m excited about it. Now. I just want I didn’t want to deal with the work with it. I don’t know. And harvesting the honey. I mean, we did all that. It was good. I mean, we had a good time with it, but it ran its course. So and I feel real guilty when I quit stuff. It really, you know, obviously I’m kind of a go getter and I’m all in I’m all in. So when I when I fizzle out on something, I always feel so damn guilty. But anyways, alright, Ben, name some cool shit you’re using lately apps, products or services? Well, we need to get whooped to sponsor us because we talk about whoop all the time. I know, I was gonna say don’t talk about whoop, because everyone’s heard about No, right. But there’s that I use that every day. Um, what about some tech with your job? I’m sure you’re using some new stuff that you’re like, what the hell maybe

Yeah, well selling, at least for selling. I’m actually helping a buddy of mine. He has a company that does leadership development. And he wants to grow the business and get in front of new clients outside of the state of Michigan. So he hired me to start some email campaigns, okay. And I have this tool that you can go to LinkedIn and search for like a title and a location. And it will show you all those people, whether it’s chief talent officer or head of HR, whatever the case may be sends you. It takes that list in LinkedIn. And then it creates an overlay on the page, and you can click the checkboxes by each name. And then this tool will scrape the internet to find their email address. And it sounds very spammy.

Matt tool sounds a little spammy. Not if you use it. Right. Okay, I agree using the data appropriately is important. But you’re sending them a random email. Yeah, I do it all the time for work. That’s true. I mean, it’s sales

and sales one to one. I mean, at the end of the day, people look to see does this email look like it was just auto generated with no effort put into it true? Or is this like a really good copy? Like this podcast could be considered spam through speaking and stuff? Oh, this

guy that created this is an asshole spammer. I have I blocked him like I couldn’t even unsubscribe or how is it people have buttons where they’ll say, go to the website. This is where it gets me. Go to the website, update your preferences. I don’t know my frickin login. So then I just go in there and block them. Because like, it’s like, make it easy for me to unsubscribe. So I’m pretty sure I unsubscribe to this guy. His name is Travis Brown. By the way. I know his name so much now because he’s a great podcast. He may be a great podcaster but I got I got so many emails for them. Like why do companies do that? I mean, like me undies, and I look at all those because I you know sometimes I buy stuff or bombas it’s everyday it’s I’m okay with that. Maybe once a week, but I know for some reason this guy rubbed me the wrong,

man. Anyways, hopefully me undies don’t rub you the wrong way cuz that’d be awkward.

That was a good joke. That was a really good joke. That wasn’t even a dad joke. That was a good joke. Oh speaking okay. I gotta write it down. No, I’m gonna do it. Now. Screw it. This is our pocket. Are you new to the firm pickle? Dude, I laughed like that out loud when I was editing. You just went with it. It was like, What is Ben saying? If you haven’t heard the firm pickle you have to listen to the last episode with with Mike. I died. I died. It was so awkward. That does sound awkward. Like why does it have to be a firm pickle? Well, here’s the funny thing about society in 2021 she was not flirting with you. She was making a sex joke and addict joke. Which you can’t even do nowadays. Like you were you were you thought it was awkward. Not like you were offended. No, I wouldn’t have done that to her oh god or not her because clearly she’s she’s down to have a little fun or what I and I’m not saying there aren’t creepers out there. But I would I would struggle so hard to work in an environment. In fact, f 45 the trainer there. She’s a little dirty to the way she talks. I was a little awkward by it for a while. And then finally I’m like, Okay, I guess I can roll with this. Because it’s fun. Like, you’re just we’re all adults here. You know what I mean? But yeah, when she when you said that? I was just like, That’s hilarious. Yes,

I finished that jar of pickles last week.

And that’s funny in itself to having a jar of pickles to spur conversation. It’s very smart.

I didn’t do it to spark conversation. I just like pickles.

I know. I thought you said in the podcast, you brought it in because you wanted people to say there’s a guy that has pickles in here. What’s up with him? Did you say that in the pack? I don’t think so. Maybe Mike. Mike, can you help me with that? Thank you. Right. Anyways, firm pickles for the win. All right, you asked me the last one.

What are three silly mistakes to avoid in life?

Ooh, three, one. Do not have your kids early. Even if you’re married, don’t have them early. I think it’s silly. I think I’m a much better father and was in my 30s than I was in my 20s. So what’s early? Would you say? 20? To 30? I think is early. Okay. Well, I mean, I’m not going to judge you if you do. But I would. My advice are silly. That things. I don’t know. I’m getting kind of deep with it. But that’s fine. I wouldn’t say it’s silly to have kids at 20. It can be if they’re not ready. Um, what silly. Okay. Ask the question. Three silly mistakes to avoid in life. Hmm. See, this is where I struggle on this stuff that think on my feet. I can riff with you and go, I don’t know what it is. Let’s see. I’m all I think in all relationships, stuff. Like, you don’t have to marry the mom if you get the the woman pregnant. I don’t know why I just go back to relationship stuff. Um, I don’t know. I don’t have a third one. I’m gonna punt on that. What can you answer that? Can you give me two? Two? Yeah.

Don’t sip laundry detergent from the tank in your washing machine trying to siphon it out. Just pull the damn tray out because it comes out.

Yeah. Good tip. Don’t siphon anything that can poison your body. Let’s stick to water. With your sorry, don’t say anything with your mouth that can poison your body except water.

Yes. You know, not laundry detergent or I thought you were going down the tide. pod. Well, that to him. Yeah. Don’t chew on tide pods. Interesting. So, and other silly mistake. I would say when you get your license, don’t be a fool. When you get your driver’s license, don’t try to be show off. I did that and I destroyed a mailbox in the process. Yeah.

Yep. Megan Megan Avery’s friend. Older sister had gotten an accident last week leaving the middle school. I don’t know. She was picking up somebody had her license for two days and totaled her car. Oh, no. She pulled out in front of somebody. It’s like, that scares the hell out of me. No young kids driving like that. Like my daughter driving in three years. Yeah, she’s 13 stuff on starting driver’s train. Yeah, this year terrifying. Yeah, I mean, you see the people out there driving I mean, terrible. But so we’re going to transition to our personal update. And obviously you guys have heard this before if you haven’t. Sorry about your luck. I got a bunch of stuff in here. Some of it doesn’t make sense. I don’t know do well, let’s just let’s just go down the list. Go for it. You can new connection for this. It literally has nothing when new connection. I didn’t work. So people don’t know. We heard early on that Avery got COVID well then Megan got COVID and then Sally got COVID mechanist vaccinate And still got it so you can still get it. You just don’t die. So that’s great. Everyone had symptoms, but Sally I never got tested. I never had symptoms. But it was rough because Megan missed a ton of stuff. She missed her birthday, she missed Avery’s dance recital, because you know, she had to quarantine we did the right thing. So that was kind of rough. I took a retour dance recital and stuff like that. So that was it was just a rough month. It was so good. When everything opened. It was like the light lifted, and we were all out of quarantine. And apparently, which is so weird. If you can still get COVID when you’re vaccinated. Right. Clearly, you don’t have to quarantine when you’re vaccinated. Like I didn’t have to quarantine. I went off and did everything I was did normally did. So thing. Why? Yeah, I don’t know. There are so many question marks with so many question marks. And I’m not I’m not ripping on the CDC or anything. I just get it. It’s so many question marks. They don’t know. Yeah. It was just weird. Like, okay, I’m vaccinated. I can still get it. Maybe it’s like, I’m less likely to give it to somebody if I’m that. I don’t know. Who knows. But anyways, I didn’t really have to quarantine. So that was nice, but I wanted to bring up a fight. That wasn’t a fight, but I made it a fight. Do you know what

I’m talking about? When I wanted to reschedule because no. Has nothing to do with that. Oh, wasn’t even mad about that. Oh, I thought you were because you took days to respond day.

I was busy man. I had a weekend at a date night with my wife. I had pictures Saturday morning. I had lunch with my family Saturday afternoon. It was a busy weekend for clearly you’re coming out of quarantine. Right? We got shit done. So you don’t know what I’m talking about? Can you give me a hint? How long ago it was last week. When your bike tire broke. And I we had a conversation privately outside of the chat. So I was trying to encourage you and try to be supportive and like man, screw that you should go get a bike. Bah, bah, bah. And every single thing I said you came back with this negativity Ben Baba, Baba Baba, like, Oh, I gotta pay off debt. And I was super pissed about that. Why? Because I’m trying to be helpful and everything I said, it’s like when you just you had a response to it. have basically your stupid I know that you didn’t say that. Here, I’m I’m trying to bond with you. I’m not saying you’re you should say you’re right. I’m going to spend $3,000 a bike screw the debt. Like I’m not saying to do that. But like everything I was trying to, like, encourage you and just like, trying to just, I know you were pissed about the tire. And I know you’ve been pissed in general about the bike shenanigans. So I was like, screw up and go spend it, just do it. And that was like, just go working for a month. For all the weekends. I’ve got my I got paid debt off. And then I came back and said, well, you’re spending money on us bikes and repairs. Why aren’t you paying that on debt? You know what I mean? So maybe I created the scenario in my head, but I was super pissed at you. Oh, well, you didn’t you couldn’t tell what I said. Whatever, bro. Apparently you’re having a bad day. I’ll talk to you later. You didn’t.

I didn’t read much into it. But I was also in the garage trying to figure out what to do with my bike. Maybe I missed that mess. Yeah, I mean, I was just like back well, if you’re if you’re tight, if your car gets a tire that’s broke. You don’t just go buy a new car knows

I wasn’t saying in general from that trigger point. I’m just like, this has been a not drama, but a long drama. Well, it’s been like, it feels like a year thing of this whole bike.

I started with the recumbent which was just that in itself. I should have never bought that bike. Right. knowing what I know now about it. Yeah, so you’re getting smarter each time I am. So then I was like, Okay, well, I’ll make my old bike work. I’ll get the handlebars raised up. Great. That worked awesome for about, oh, six, eight months. And then the back tires started. The spokes started breaking right. And then I’m like, Well, shit. Now what? So then I got the Fat Tire bike, which I think

there was a bike in between. No, there wasn’t really No, no, I’ll err to you because you’ve been involved in it.

I don’t have another bike floating around. I mean, I got stuff on a bike. No, no,

I swear there was another one in between the Fat Tire and Oh, no regular one.

Nope. I saw so I got the idea to look for a bike that’s gonna be well, it was you in the first place. You said you know what? A lot of fitness equipment is made for people. 250 pounds lighter. Yeah. So Like, yeah, you’re probably right. So I did research and I found this model of a bike. And I was like, sweet. Let’s give this a whirl. Yeah. And then you got on me for being impulsive. So I feel like you love me through the old bike thing. Well,

I mean, how many times how many tires if you repaired on this bike, repaired? like three, it’s been gone? Oh, at least two because you’ve fixed it in the field. And then this one went flat. So tubes and

tires are different things. Wow. So the first time I popped the tube, Dave patched it. And then I wrote it a little bit, and realize there was another hole that didn’t get patched. So yes, it’s been a lot lately. I

don’t ride bikes enough to know cuz I don’t know. I mean, maybe my kids don’t. I don’t know. I’ve never heard so much drama around bikes. So

Well, you’ve never, we’ve also never had a 300 plus pound person, trying to regularly ride a bike, like it’s gonna wear things out. Right.

Right. But that being said, going back to the discussion, and again, maybe you didn’t realize you were doing that. But I do find sometimes that you do everything I say for suggestion, you come back with something like like, we’re in a court room or something like that. I don’t know. I was just kind of bummed about it. Because I was actually trying to, like, connect with you and just be like, Man, this sucks. Like, go split. Go treat yourself. You know what I mean? Did you watch Parks and Rec or not? Oh, she’s Ben. How can we be friends? He didn’t watch the office or parks. But anyways, that’s a big if you’ve watched Parks and Rec, you know, treat yourself. So I don’t know, it was just bombed. Obviously. It clearly didn’t bother you at all or, or whatnot. But

I think sometimes your intention to connect doesn’t mean that when it’s not my I don’t know. Maybe it it’s on the receiving end and not on the sending end. But no, I don’t think it lands that way.

And you’re right, it was text. I didn’t if you would have heard my voice you probably would have been like, oh, like he’s feeling really bad for me. Right. It’s me to go take a get a bike and this like treat yourself.

Yeah, I I’m more felt annoyed in the questions like, seriously, That’s not at all what I’m, I’m like, I love this bike. I’m not just gonna Why

didn’t you say that? Then instead of like, I don’t know, I feel like we were like fighting but not fighting. I feel like it would have been helpful for you to say, I, you know, I appreciate it. I’m kind of frustrated right now. Like, I’m just I like this bike. I just want to make it work. I probably would have immediately stopped. Yeah, buddy. But it’s funny how you thought I was mad about the the schedule change? Yeah, it literally wasn’t. I mean, it was annoyed. I’m like, whatever. It’s like, whatever.

I had a busy day on Sunday, too. So like it was it was kind of fine. For me. It was a wildcard It was like I don’t know when this is gonna get done. So let’s just plan on not

I think what we’re finding again is we’ve talked about is us doing text messages doesn’t always work. No. Like, we need voice and now you naturally after we haven’t seen each other, and you did voice in your defense, and I came back and text and maybe you thought me just texting back or the delay in between was well, you sent me a message. You’re killing me. smalls. Well, again, it was a did I put a smiley face. I don’t know. Sorry. Megan enough despite Okay,

she fight us. Thanks, Megan for biting us coffee. Oh, hold on. I gotta look cuz this is pissing me off. Now. I’m

all

frazzled. See, this is why I put my shit on Do Not Disturb so I don’t get

Okay, Ben.

Oh, yeah, we talked about your trip to pleasant pond or whatever. Oh, my gosh, it was awful. No, no. Okay. I there was no smiley, smiley face. Okay. And I actually wasn’t mad. I’m just like, Ben, you’re killing me, smalls.

And then you didn’t respond again until the next day. Really? That’s on me then. So I was like, shall I must have made them. But but

here’s where I like Megan and I had these good discussions. And I know this sounds petty what we’re talking about, but I think it’s helpful for people in relationship. This is where I’d be like, why don’t you ask? Like, are you bummed at me? Did you add? I don’t think you said that. I don’t think so.

I just I said I’m sorry if I upset you by doing this blah, blah, blah. Did I not say you didn’t know you just said Monday probably would be better. Oh, clearly, I

clearly I screwed up on that one. I should have been more. That’s

what I thought you were talking about because it felt passive aggressive, like you’re intentionally not responding to my message about rescheduling. And

maybe I did maybe I was annoyed but not enough to be Like, whatever. Yeah, it’s fine. It’s just tough. Like, this week is tough for me because I have gigs. So tonight’s the night, why prep tonight and tomorrow because it’s more than threads because I put the show together that I put it all on XSplit. So there’s more involved. So maybe that’s why I was a little annoyed. So I actually gonna take the fall on that I should have been more prompt in my communication. That’s all right. I know. I know. You’re not mad at me. I’ve just but that’s what I thought you were referencing about. Okay. Well, clearly, we need to spend more time together, and we do so. It’s been months after that shit show. Ben,

you’re an axe. Oh, my gosh, a meaningful interaction is the next thing that we do in our personal update. I had one on Sunday, Sunday morning, I was asked to do an announcement for the life groups, which are small groups at my church, and have the leaders come up on stage and tell about their group and this is your church.

Yeah, this new church that I do the lawn right across, I will send you a picture of an erdan produce. Isn’t that Yeah, right across. Yeah. By the way that lawns a disaster. I don’t even know why they pay us to do it anyways, for another day, but night. Yeah, I almost sent you a picture the other time I was doing Oh, yeah, sure. That’s been church. It is.

It’s an awesome place. I’m so glad that you’ve come check it out. Maybe just for a Sunday. So leading the prayer and announcement was just so much fun, like, so. I obviously have ministry experience, and I’ve told my pastor that, but I don’t think she necessarily took me seriously. Like, maybe she didn’t believe me, because I come off as this introvert kind of quiet guy. Yeah. So she’s probably thinking, I don’t, I don’t really see Ben being good at that kind of thing. But she asked me to do it because I’m the life group leader. And then she then the worship pastor actually asked me well, while you’re up there, could you lead us in our prayer time? I was like, Yeah, I’d love to. So, Sunday morning comes and my pastor and the worship leader have never heard me speak publicly before and probably thought, based on my demeanor that it’s totally out of my comfort zone. Apparently, I nailed it is the feedback that I got from there were probably seen everywhere before you started. Probably like, oh, boy, new guy. Ben is up there. What’s gonna happen? But no. The pastor’s husband messaged me while I was giving the announcement, he’s just like, dude, you are killing it up there. Like I feel engaged. I feel like this is still part of worship. And I intentionally referenced the the song that we had just song right before, was all about God’s strength and power and goodness. And so I just said something like, you know, that song is so true. And God’s goodness is too much for us to just keep to ourselves. So you should really join a life group, and just did this amazing transition, because it’s what I do. And apparently, it was really good. Well, that’s amazing. So yeah, getting more and more plugged in. And like the life group leaders are starting to see me as a resource and asking questions, and it’s just feels really good. You feel like when you said that you were in ministry, it’s like, a guy going up to like, college coach in baseball is hey, I used to coach tee ball. Back in the day, like, you need to put me in coach like, I can step up like, did you kind of feel like that was like back? Oh, yeah. I don’t feel like they took you seriously. I think they took me seriously. I just don’t think they understood the level of my ability. Right? And nobody never doesn’t. It’s not a problem for me.

Right? And if they never heard you speak before, then I can see maybe they’re hesitant to Yeah. But by the way, when you say the ladder prayer, does that mean you like prayed in front of everybody, or you just started and said, Hey, you know, blah, blah, blah. If you want to pray out loud, you can

know you did the whole thing of prayer in front of people. And at our church. It’s kind of a it’s a very, like the people, the people who lead the prayer usually get really into it. They’re usually black, and they’re very gospel. And so it’s like, you’re at a gospel concert and people are just praying the peep the person leaving is getting very enthused and excited about their prayer. And I don’t know if that was me. I didn’t try to do that. But I definitely did. You know, try to be emphatic

show emotion and that’s terrifying to me. Yeah. terrifying. Like even We do like, what do they call it? Popcorn bear? Oh, yeah, like when I do production before, typically the password terrible start and if anyone has anything to say, and there’s sometimes I do, I’m like, there ain’t no way in hell, I’m saying a word like, there it is not gonna happen. So I gave you so many props for that, because that just sounds terrifying.

So at the second service, I kind of messed it up a little bit. I gave the announcement and had the audience of the audience, the people congregation, give a round of applause for the life group leaders. And then I left the stage with them. And pastor Christie’s like Ben, pray, I was like, Oh, yeah. Back up on the stage. Well, again,

you guys, um, people that go to church, and maybe they realize it’s a show, like there’s a production meaning everything goes down a certain way. Because you want to, you know, keep the environment. Good. You don’t want to have worry. Yeah, you not praying can make somebody go, oh, what’s going on? It throws the

game off. It throws the congregation off. Yes. Just there’s a flow and flow.

Exactly. So you know, in quotes, order but I mean, like, if you look at I run down, it’s like our, like, if you would look at my churches run down. It’s like threads run. Oh, yeah. It’s, I mean, it’s more technical, actually. I mean, we’re talking. They time everything. Oh, they know how long he went. And if they need to adjust something in the future, yada yada.

Yeah, I had four minutes. Okay, so we’re quit.

Yeah. They give you the what are they doing comedy, they give you the light at the in the back or something? Oh, yeah. Something

like that. But anyways, so that was just a really, it was really good. Like I felt affirmed. Yeah, gifts. I felt connected with my life group leaders as they join me on the stage. And I was able to say, here’s the team I assembled join their life groups. However, I’m a little bit bummed because my life group has zero signups. Everybody else has them. And I think it’s really because I’m the new guy. People don’t know who I am. Yeah, yep. So

I would be scared of that. Not scared, but I would be like, I’m gonna go with the tried and true. Yeah, exactly. So that’s good. You taking a good attitude about it not getting too broken up about it at all. So hey, guys, quick break. Just want to say if you want to support Jason and Ben at the threads podcast, go to buy me a coffee.com slash threads podcast. So what is buy me a coffee. So it’s like Patreon. But what you can do with it, you can just buy one time stuff like you can buy Ben a coffee, Mia coffee, you can buy us 20 coffees, 2000 coffees, or you can sign up for a membership with which comes with some great perks. We really appreciate the support Ben and I won’t actually buy coffee with it, we’ll use it to pay hosting fees, editing stuff, software, memberships, all that stuff. Unless you explicitly tell us to buy coffee with it. We use that for expenses. So we’re not here to make any money. We just want to keep threads podcast going and you know, making sure that you know this podcast keeps going and we just we just love doing it so much. So if you go to buy me a coffee, calm and slash threads, podcast or just search threads, podcast and buy me a coffee, you will find us there also we do have a newsletter that we’re going to start sending out if you go to the website, and search newsletter, you’ll be able to find that click on that put your email address in there. It just be a monthly newsletter for all the comings and goings of threads podcasts. Okay, back to the show. So yeah, a couple other things. So meaningful interaction we talked about Megan? Yeah, earlier, which is a this is amazing. So pulling back the curtains a little bit. Ben and I have been struggling. We’ve been struggling with threads, not our relationship, just creativity, feedback, those kinds of things. And when we say that, don’t feel like you have to reach out to us a pity fee. We’re not asking for a pat on the back. No, we’re not. We’re 100% not but what helps us to to continue on and just have that fire in our belly for threads is feedback like, man that was impactful. I’m gonna do this or one time we had an email, a random email from someone in Jersey, that was looking for some help. And that was like, for mental health. And I’m like, Oh my gosh, like, this is what we want to do. We want to help other people. We helped her find a therapist. Exactly wild. And that’s not all why we do it. But our point of doing this is so people can be like, we’re trying to create less assholes. Yes, in the meantime, I’m becoming less of one while we’re doing it. So that being said, we do He’s been struggling. And I even said today, literally today but on telegram and like his threads come to an end. Is this a point where we’re just like, we’re three years? And at some point it will. It will be a sad day because I love I’m so I love this for sure. This is amazing. I love all of it. But yeah, if if you did, I wanted to throw it out there. I didn’t feel like we should quit. But if you did, I would really consider it because I care about you. And if you’re not in it, to do it. So that being said, we went back and forth about a couple things you want to change, blah, blah, blah. And like an hour later, I get a text from Meghan. And I’m gonna read the text. It’s doesn’t you know, she said I could, by the way, so it doesn’t thanks, Megan. It doesn’t really, you don’t do any? It’s not, it’s not specific. Now, Megan, I text a little bit, maybe once a month. And she’s a partner with us with gigs. So there’s a business relationship there. So we don’t text a ton. So this was I feel like this was kind of random. So literally, like an hour after Ben and I talked, it was like an hour gap. Maybe not even that she goes. When you when you preach therapy, I feel like you should make the giant disclaimer about how much work it is. I’m gonna have to edit that one out. Also the hour a week, Brian and I spent in therapy together is my favorite time of the week. So I’m like, wow, I sent Ben a thread or a picture. I was like, okay, God, I get it. Geez. Right. You know what I mean? And that’s saying something for me. And I had goosebumps, I have them now. Like, those are the kinds of things that I struggle with religion is not seeing those. And that was such a like, No, no, no, you need to keep going on this. Like, if it was. I don’t know if and again, no offense to micro, Larry, again. We love you Love you guys. Love you guys.

But Megan’s far enough out of the circle that it was so like, Oh my gosh, God is saying pros. No, no, no, you got more work to do. So. That being said, Meghan, when you I know she’s gonna listen to this, because we had a conversation after if I could. So thank you for that. You don’t realize how impactful that was for for me and Ben, were I’ve just I was just like, I kind of sat in my work truck. And I was like, wow, like I was Wow, by the impactful pneus of her message. And while that I think that was a god moment, I can I will never forget that moment. Yeah, it now it’s not got me running to church right now, I’m not saying that. But I’ve really struggled with Christianity and religion. And you all have heard it. And Mike’s heard it and all that. So when I when that happened, I was just like, holy cow. couldn’t believe it. Yeah. So the timing was pretty incredible. It was I mean, yes, you can say it’s a coincidence. Whatever. Literally, in that moment, I’m going to tell you, you’re full of shit. It wasn’t coincidence. Because I mean, I guess it could be I don’t know, here I am doubting myself again. But yourself. I know. But like your gut. I couldn’t believe it. I was flabbergasted. I’m like, this is like my epiphany moment and in in such a random way. I don’t know. So what do you think about that?

I am super encouraged by it. I just think it’s incredible. That I don’t know. A lot of people will talk about God as the universe, or that’s the universe’s way of saying or doing something. And I think people who use universe just aren’t comfortable with the fact that there might be a god. That’s a tangent for another day. But it almost feels like what you put out into the universe does really come karma.

Yeah, kind of, well, it’s twofold, right? It’s, it’s a God thing. And then it’s the threads thing. It’s like, Hey, you encouraged me to go to therapy. I’m doing it. It sucks. It’s hard. It’s hard. And but it’s awesome. Yeah. And I’m like, Yes, thank you. And again, our goal isn’t to get people to therapy. Our goal is for people to like we said to be less eight holes, and just be more authentic in their life. Yes. And go into their true colors. Yeah, and go into therapy is one of them. So Megan, thank you so much. You don’t realize how much that mat for threads and actually met a lot for me from a Gad perspective. So, huh?

That’s awesome. So cool. So another meaningful interaction happened last night. miracle. My daughter is part of a dance troupe called expressions of praise. And the whole group is just a miracle in itself. They’re incredible dancers. They’re led by an incredible woman named les yassa and les Assa has essentially become a godmother. To our daughter. She’s an incredible woman.

Is that the one going back a couple years ago that at festival where she’s Yeah, okay,

so that’s the caliber of these dancers, right? They’re good. And they work their tails off in practice, like, it was hell week last week, like every night after school miracles going to dance until 830 or nine, and then all day on Saturday. And then she showed up early on Sunday before the production. And my word like, like, also writes all of the productions herself. Like she’s not using any scripted stuff. It’s all stuff that she writes. And she’s a black woman of faith, and she really targeted mental health in this production last night, like I was tearing up at several points, we had to wear masks, and I was okay with it. Because I didn’t want people to see how much of a blubbering mess I was. It was so powerful, like just in miracle had a speaking part. I don’t know if you saw the video on Facebook. Oh, my word. She just did incredible. And so this was more like a play slash a day. Yeah. So interesting. It’s a production. I mean, okay, it really is. So they have like a projector putting a backdrop on the wall for the stage that went with each scene. And then there were like spoken word parts in between scenes. And there were songs that they all danced to you like, the troupe has got to be 50 Kids maybe, okay. And they have several coaches who work with them. So they had a tap song that the tap troupe did, and then they had onpoint, and hip hop and worship dance. And that was all part of this storyline, this production. So it was it was recital, yes, but it was also just a just a very engaging and attention grabbing, amazing production. Now the production quality was horrible. Like, it’s to the point where I’m going to go to layoffs and say, I’ll be your tech guy for these recitals. What was the main issue? There were so many. So first and foremost, for the first half of the show. The lighting was horrible and couldn’t see them. And these, the majority of this troop are black, and the lights are dimmed. That’s a problem. You can’t see their faces. You can see their moves barely in the Yeah, the glow from that stage should be lit up. Yeah. And also the projector is in front of the kids. So they’re dancing in front of the projected image. The projector, the image itself was not sharpened. So it was blurry, it had to be focused. And I was sitting right next to the projector and it was taking everything in me to stay seated in that. Turn the dial for the focus. Oh man, then the wireless mics for the speaking parts. Only one of them could be turned on at a time or else it would create this awful feedback. If two were on like, so clearly their soundboard wasn’t set up well, right? And it’s all these little things that I know how to

do. Well, it’s not only that it takes away from I mean, it doesn’t have to be perfect. No, but I mean, sounds like a lot of that stuff is pretty basic. It is and nothing gets her but she’s wrapped up in the production. Exactly.

These kids work too hard to have their production impacted by those little tech things. Yeah. So I’m really am serious about emailing her and saying, hey, for the next production, I’ll be your tech guy. I’ll recruit a team of volunteers, right, I can find people. This is too good to have have these basic issues that you’re dealing with.

Yeah, and I bet show I mean, do you remember last year being the same issue? Yeah. I mean, maybe it’s your calling. I don’t know. I mean, I’m not. You know, once it gets super technical, but like with wireless mics and stuff, I wouldn’t know how to do that. But it sounds for the most part. Most of it. You could tackle and figure it out.

What they really need is attack rehearsal. Yeah, like they do a dress rehearsal. Let’s also do attack.

I mean, yeah. Even Avery’s recitals, which again, I’m sorry, the two and a half hours in and you just took a break. I would not sit through the plays are even that long. Broadway plays aren’t even that long. So I’m like, bless your heart, but they’re very no way I’d watch I’d watch Miracle and that’d be like gamma. I love you. But

well, that’s hard because she was in and out throughout the variable again,

again, yes. Like Avery does one day, you know, isn’t one dance class, you know, one day a week and blah, blah, blah. But yeah, maybe it’s your calling? I don’t know, I see I have trouble with that, too. I want to jump in and not like, fix it in the moment. But I want to be helpful because I have trouble saying no. But then then, if I don’t do it while I’m there, it leaves me. Yeah, it’s probably good. Because I have already too many commitments.

Yeah. And I talked with Andy about that very fact, the fact that I already have a lot going on, right? She’s like, well, these happen once or twice a year.

So well, maybe your role is recruiting a team and assigning a lead. Yeah, you maybe you can be helped help. Hey, bounce stuff off from you. Right? Not like the go to guy. Exactly. I don’t know, my two cents. But so.

But that was just incredible. Like, you’ll have to watch the video that I put on Facebook, he didn’t sell it with the poor production value. So I’m not sure I can take it you won’t see. I mean, for the lights were fixed. And you could hear her. So it was good in the godsakes. I

do. Megan gets so mad at me. Bernie Brown. And maybe I brought this up. But again, our production value isn’t perfect. It’s not. I know that. But there were some simple things that her podcast that an editor should have fixed real easy and didn’t I couldn’t listen to it. I couldn’t listen to it. I’m not an audio snob, maybe a little. I couldn’t listen to it. And I’m just like, it takes away so much of the value of the content. No, I don’t care how good a content you have. If your audio is shitty in a podcast, or your video or your Yeah, the video you’re showing is glitchy and blurry. No one cares what the content is. They’re just so annoyed. So just my two cents.

And another thing that was so interesting is being predominantly black company. A lot of the audience was black. And so it was a very different response than what you would experience in your typical West Michigan. Yeah, sidle. I mean, the whooping and hollering and yeah, encore and just shouting and like a man. And it was like being in a gospel service or something. It was a very moving experience. But very long.

Yeah. But very much god bless you for your life. You miracle couldn’t have landed with a better family.

Yeah. I’m gonna say in the chairs were not comfortable by shifting and my Oh, no, it was it was a doozy. But but the fact that they get invited to festival every year just speaks to the level of Yeah, quality. No, that’s it sounds like it. I mean, gosh, Avery goes to class one day a week and had one rehearsal come in, you know, and you’re expected to practice at home. So yep. And oh, and it’s on the other side of town, like fuller in Kalamazoo.

Now, that’s not my work side of town. I don’t mind that. But yeah, that is a hike. Alright, moving on. That’s good to hear. Just a quick Valley and a low point, we’ll get too much into it. I’ve already talked about mine. Yeah. And then we can well, you can do something you learned and then we’ll do our aim. We’re gonna do a little ama tonight, which hopefully won’t go too long. But it probably will typical threads format. Just briefly, we’re not doing a metal club day, but I’ve been on medication. It’s been going good. I haven’t had too many, like, explosive incidents, but I’ve had some issues. And so this one’s not that. I mean, I don’t know, I didn’t think it was a big deal. But Megan brought it up. So I’m gonna respect her and say that it was a big deal. But they had moved some furniture. I don’t know if you noticed, we walked downstairs, you probably didn’t even notice that our furniture was moved.

Slowly was sitting in a different spot than he normally okay. That’s funny. So that caught my eye. Yeah,

we move things around. And I don’t know, I didn’t want him to do it. But I told them, they could do it. And they still did it. And so I was pissed about it. But you told them they could I know. But in my head, I’m like, I don’t know. I don’t know how it’s gonna work. Blah, blah, blah. So she had come down and she’s like, well, if you want if you want to move it back, then you need to help me and I laughed in her face. And, or that did not go well because I’m like, I’m not moving that shit. You moved it if you want. Like, I’m not helping you do anything. And that was the wrong thing to say. And she got really offended and just thought it was this. I just changed my chair. Sorry. Sorry about that shark or something. JOHN, I think so. Now I was moving my legs and I hit the button and went down and scared the shit out of me. But no, she thought it was disrespectful and looking at it. She was very like excited about the move and I I was kind of a dick about it. So that’s a low point. And then also the cabin. It has a dock. And the dock has been the bane of my existence is one of these floating docks and you have to pull the poles up in the winter before the winter so it doesn’t freeze blah, blah, blah. I don’t know why Whatever. I’m just going on what I was told. And every year I hate it. I hate putting in it’s a pain in the ass. Mother in law’s never happy about it, whatever. So this year, the water level has been incredibly low. Oh, so Perry Lake there is a dam that can regulate the water. But if the volume like Mother Nature volume is down, there’s really not much you can do. So the water level has been low. We’ll try and so think of a doc has how it’s out. Normally it goes out to the water, what she wants us to pull it to the to the shore. So not pull it straight onto the water, but just make it 90. So like it’s out straight and you’re like, right next to the shore. So now it’s it’s parallel to the shore. Okay? I don’t know why, why can’t we just take the poles out? I don’t know. Sweet Jesus helped me again the bane of my existence. So we can’t get it pulled out to the street Park. I’m trying and trying I usually just use a paddle and push in the muck. Can’t do it can do it. Get in the kayak. Okay, at 45 over here is going to pull this sumbitch out. So I tie a robot and I start pad on and I am going as hard as I can and is not moving now again, Megan’s not on the end because I thought well, having a person on the end is adding you know, some more weight to it. So it’s probably going to sink. So I’m throwing a fit. shocker, right? Like this effin thing bubble Ah, could you have used the pontoon? Well the boat was not in the water because once the dock in we put a boat in then we can dock it sure. Now we could have the boat was ready to go in. We could adopt it at a neighbor’s but you’re right that would have been perfect but you know stubborn Jason I’m gonna do it sounds like something I would do. Exactly. I feel like you would be like no, this is happening right now. So I’m trying to try and can’t do it. I’m frustrated so I pet and again I’m even getting kind of stuck in the muck in the kayak. Oh, like I’m really having to work. So in a fear or not fear in a moment of frustration. I’m right. So think of me like bellying up in the kayak to the dock so like the kayak is like underneath one of the floating areas and I’m right up to it like it’s hitting me in the chest. I set the paddle on the dock and in frustration I push the dock and I go sliding back the kayak with no paddle

now I’m stuck in between this frickin swamp of muck and the docks away without a pat without a paddle. I’m like Megan Did you have surveillance camera? That’d be so Megan

wanted last saw her but she’s like oh my gosh, she’s so pissed. And then she tries to bring the paddle to the dock and hand to me I’m honey it’s 20 feet away. How are you going to do it? So she eventually I was able to through the little like swamp area I was able to get it but of course what finally got it out me and the kayak and her on the end pushing with the mock and me paddling like an asshole for two minutes. And we finally got it out. But so that was kind of a fail. And literally, you could see the marks from the floats in the mark. That’s how shallow it was. But good idea with the boat next time. I should have said, Alright, stop. Let’s go get the boat. We can dock it at the neighbors until we get it in. Let’s pull this sumbitch out with an actual motor instead of your manual power. Oh my gosh. And I was actually pissed that I couldn’t pull it out. I’m not gonna lie. I mean, bad. I was like wow. So basically, if I ever invite you up and it’s put the doc and weekend say no, say no, I can I come up on another weekend. Just kidding. Or maybe go up and see the shenanigans in the disaster. So speaking of kayaking, Ben, what did you learn? Oh, sorry. In the rundown, I Oh, transition.

So for the longest time, I’ve just had this idea that kayaking on rivers is just naturally it’s just a pain in the ass. Because you put in at one spot, and you paddle downstream to the other spot and you got to get picked up shuttle ball that jet. Yeah. The other night when my bike was down, I was thinking, How can I go kayaking? when nobody’s available to shovel? Yeah, like I’m thinking like, a Andy’s at work. I could maybe call Jason but that’s way out of his way. I wouldn’t come and I’m like you’re in an emergency. Like, I don’t know who I would call to get a ride back and then I was like, hold on a second. What if I put in at the spot I was gonna take out and I just paddle upstream. That seems like a lot of work though. Well That’s the point, right? Well, I

mean, fitness is that the boy or kayaking or relaxing time? Because when I go out kayaking at the lake, I’m just chilling man. For the eagle, the loons. Yeah, might take a leak out the side. I mean, it’s just chill time.

For me, I want it to be both I want to be chill. But I also want to get a workout. And the Grand River doesn’t really flow that fast, really. And in fact, something that Mike and I realized when we went is it can be very easy to mistake which direction the grand is going. Because when the wind blows, the top level of water will blow with the wind, even though the undercurrent is going towards Okay, I’m learning

stuff today too, because I every time I look at the Grand River, it seems like it’s haulin ass. depends on where you are. I guess that’s true. That’s a good point. Like, that’s a good point where you are

Yeah, like North up by West river drive. It’s pretty still

really I was gonna say over by Jupiter over the hill, Jupiter and watts River. I feel like it’s fast there. But maybe not. I mean, I’m looking as not as Yeah,

you know what I mean? Yeah. So I put in at West river, and I kayaked upstream, two miles, and it was a blast. And then when I decided that I had done enough work, I just kind of relaxed check my phone, went back to the put in spot and got out loaded up my kayak and I was done within like two hours. So looking at it as a workout. You’ve kind of had an epiphany, like if I’m there to work out, let’s just work out upstream stream. Okay, so it’s so much less work and less frustration. Because even when Mike and I went Mike met me at the endpoint, and then so I had to first drop off the kayaks at the put in spot. Yep, go and pick him up at the endpoint Where is car back to the drop. drive back to the car off. Yep. Then I drive my car to the put in. You know we can get in.

Yeah, and then we’re back. Okay, so it sounds like you having a buddy with you is probably easier to cars. It is but still

show up afterwards. Mike had to take just mean the kayaks to the put in spa. Yeah, I had to get my car and go back to the takeout spot. So it’s just a nightmare. Yeah, yeah. I

mean, I guess you got what you got to sacrifice for fun or fitness. Yeah. That’s funny about the river because I talked to Megan about the kayaking. Um, she’s like, I don’t think Ben Ben doesn’t kayak on a lake. He goes on all the rivers is like, I don’t know how he does it like that. It seems like a pain in the ass.

If it’s just me, I’ve, I’ve taken Uber before.

I wonder if you could figure out a way. Now hear me out. Don’t laugh at me. Somehow to mount your bike on your kayak.

I know I’ve thought of that to balance it out. So it gives you the appropriate weight left and right on the front. And then when you get done, you just ride your bike back or your car. You just dropped the bike off at the takeout spot, put a lock on it. And then when you get to the takeout spot, hop on the bike or bike to your car.

Yeah, but I mean if you if you kayak for 15 miles that’s that’s 50 miles on the river. How much is it on the road with a bike and a car? Yeah, that might be That’s true. You got anyways. So trying to reinvent the wheel over here?

No, but that’s what it feels like every time I go kayaking River. It’s like so much math and so much calculating and figuring out and so to just put in and take out at the same damn spot ever was like,

Yeah, yeah, epiphany. Like I said, again, if you’re going in for a workout, I think that’s perfect. Because then you’re not gone. I mean, even two hours seems like a long time two miles up. It was just hard. So it took longer to get

up. Oh, yeah. Your average speed going upstream is about two miles an hour. Wow. And then going back down three and a half to four. Okay. So interesting. Yeah.

Wow. Well, that Sunday when you invite me, maybe I can figure it out. You seem so opposed to I don’t want to spend four hours out of the river.

I’m not going to lie. If you don’t want to spend two hours in a production. No, I’m sensing a theme. Yeah, so I don’t like long time. Shit. Nice. Well, one thing that you just learned about Jason is he doesn’t like long time things. Well, with that we’re going to jump into our Ask me another and see what other things we might learn about Jason and myself. So who wants to go first? Honestly, just before we jump into the AMA, literally a half marathon is shorter than your daughter’s production in your kayaking job.

Do you realize that like it’s under two hours? Just saying that’s where I run it. Just saying. Just saying just throwing it out. Um, so are yours deep? They can be okay, mine are and I may think of more any but I can go on I can ask you first if you aren’t sure. I mean, we brought this up before, one of the questions I have for you is why? And I and I think I know the reason but let’s just talk about it. Why are you so quiet about therapy progress? As far as like details and stuff?

I would counter that with a question or what your answer is to the question. Why don’t know what the answer is? That’s why I’m asking you. No, but I’m saying, I have a question that I would ask you in response. And I think it’s the same thing. Oh, you seem to be close lipped about certain time periods before you and Megan were married. And it’s fine. Because you don’t want to talk about stuff that happened, and things like that. So I think it’s similar in that, what I’m talking about and dealing with in therapy, it’s like, I don’t necessarily want to I’ve already relived at once in the therapy session, right? I’ve already brought it to the surface, I’m dealing with it. Sometimes I just know, not sometimes all the freaking time. I just want to put it back. Let it be until the next time. Because there’s just some things in life that I don’t like to talk about.

Yeah, but how can you grow in that moment, you’re talking about putting it away, and then bringing it back up in therapy? That’s not the point of therapy? I’m not saying anything in general, I’m not saying about talking about on threads, but in general in your life, you carp, carp compartmental. Like you that into that section, like, Oh, this is where we work. And then we don’t think about it or talk about it. And then think about it. And I talk about it with my wife. Yeah. Well, that I mean, okay, now that you said that. I mean, I’m just saying it’s not you can’t do the work if you’re not going to talk about it outside of therapy. Do you tell me much of what you do in therapy? I mean, I pretty much why don’t specifically go like time for time, like each time I don’t break it down. But I mean, we know the general gist of what I’m talking about, you know what I mean? And again, this is not a cut on you by any means. This is just a discussion because I think as if I was a threads listener, I would look at like, man, Ben’s working on so much stuff. But like, I’m not asking for deets. Like, I’m not asking for dirty drama deets. But I think people can be more empathetic with you if they kind of know more than just general anxiety about what you’re dealing with. And I do understand something where you may have other ears on the show that where I don’t give a f. Yeah.

And I do for some reason? Well,

because you still have a relationship with some people that you might be dealing with. And I and I totally get that. So I can see why it’s just I don’t you don’t tell me off the air either. So

I did a little bit that one time that one time. One time at band camp. Oh, man.

So it’s just a general, I think, I’d like to see you share a little bit more, a little bit more in depth again, not leaving things out. And again, that’s just my opinion. I’m not going to be mad or sad. If you don’t,

I have been telling you things like the whole mouth situation. And that’s something that I talk about with my therapist stuff that should have been dealt with when I was a kid but right. Wasn’t. Have you said that on the show, though. Not on the show. Yeah. But again, it’s the lit. Okay, so my biggest anxiety about threads. And mom and dad, if you’re listening. Hi, thanks for listening. Again, that’s, that’s your hesitation. And I can totally respect that. And while things you know, I don’t like talking about it on threads, because I don’t know if they’re listening or not. It’s not like they’ve come out and said, Hey, we listened to your show. But I see certain episodes. And like, I see episodes being listened to in order. So somebody in the state of Michigan is listening to previous episodes in order. And I just kind of have a hunch that it might be my parents, and maybe I’m just being paranoid,

probably because who knows if we got a new listener and they’re binge listening,

right? So again, worst case scenario, Ben, I get anxious about the listening years, like, because of the stuff that I’m working on in therapy. A lot of it is centered around my childhood. Yeah. And how it was. It had this image of being something that it wasn’t it looked good at first glance. But if you lift up the lift up the surface, there’s a lot that was swept under the rug stuff that wasn’t dealt with the way it should have been.

Mike talked about how in his family there we get into these huge arguments, but then they never like, come back, circle back and talk about what happened. Just a complete digression. And the circle that is so impactful if I hadn’t learned anything about life is like circling back and talking about what happened and seeing if you can fix whatever right? You said or what, you know,

I didn’t have that growing up. That was a skill I learned as an adult. And there were a lot of things in my childhood that really should have been circled back on. Yeah, for example, my mouth. Apparently, when I was 14, I must have told my parents that I didn’t want to have this surgery that was essentially going to save my mouth from all the troubles I’m having now. They just said, okay, and let me make that decision as a 14 year old and we never circled back on it. And now as an adult, I’m going to the dentist, and all of the things that my parents were probably warned about by my orthodontist, and dentist growing up. I’m having to deal with that now as an adult when it should have been dealt with 20 years.

Yeah, could have been dealt with less pain and everything.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Um, yeah, there’s just so much that wasn’t addressed wasn’t handled the right way. And God bless my parents, they’re good people. I don’t I try really hard to not hold grudges against them. But I just have a lot of question marks.

Well, it’s still like my therapist always says, and you know, Mike, I love you. It’s still part of your journey. Yeah. You know what I mean? It’s still, I always say story. Yes, because I hate journey. But it’s still part of your story. So it’s still happen. It doesn’t mean you have to have grudges, or you’re super pissed at them. But it still happened. So you’re dealing with it, and it’s gonna bring up some feelings?

Yeah. And it’s like, the circle back is happening in therapy with my therapist. What should have happened with my parent? Right.

Random thought. Have you ever tried to circle back with your parents? In not in text?

No, not not be like, you know? Yeah. Not since moving back to Michigan. Yeah.

No. But I mean, what would it hurt? I mean, again, it’s, I don’t talk to my family. So I mean, I’m not saying that. I don’t know. I’m dealing with some of my life right now. That won’t go to therapy, either. And not your parents need therapy. But I’m saying that it can be weird to do those circle backs. And they may not be a part of it. I guess what I’m trying to say they may be like, yeah, we’re good.

Yeah. So and the span of life that was most difficult for me and my family was my teenage years. And both of my kids are now will Stefan’s in the throes of it and miracles not far behind. So that just brings up stuff to like stuff that I’m circling back with my kids about, because it’s important stuff to talk about. And then I’m like, shit. I never had a conversation like this with my parents. And it sucks. Yeah. So that’s a little peek behind the curtain of what goes on. Yeah. Well, I

mean, just to make you feel a little better. I told my dad Hey, I realized You’re not my Dad, can we talk about it? And he said, No, I’m not open for questions. And so there you go for that. Like now I’m not trying to compare but my point is, I feel your pain on some of that stuff. It’s been so awesome. Since we cut ties By the way, Megan got a random birthday card from said dad and we we put Return to Sender on it and sent it back. I’m like, No, this is not how this works, right? We’re done with communication. You don’t just send a random birthday card. But anyways, you’re not my dad. No. Well, it’s not even that. Again, I’ve reiterated if this man was awesome to me and not neglectful and saved me from abuse and did all these amazing things. I don’t care what blood you have in there doesn’t matter to me. That’s not important to me. What important to me is you’re there. You are there when I need you. Yeah, and you wasn’t biological or not. You weren’t there. So signer anyways. Alright, that was long. Thank you for sharing.

Yeah. My question for you, is sort of deep, but maybe not. So, in conversations with Mike and I on telegram and, and it’s not just there, it’s everywhere that we communicate. You have a tendency sometimes, and I think it’s just for shock value. But you just take things like completely off the rails to make some sex dick boob joke or something. And sometimes it’s like, it’s funny, and I laugh and sometimes I’m just like, why? Like, why now? I think I guess maybe I’m trying I guess the question is, what is your intention with taking things off the rails? Is it just the shock value that you like to get from us? No. I

I like camaraderie of men where we can do that stuff. But we can also talk about some deep stuff. Right. You know, in an ideal world, I would have another podcast where I would just be horrible howard stern. I mean, no, not even that. Now. I wouldn’t be like, disgusting, but I mean, I would want a podcast where, you know, we rip on each other. We’re

telling stupid jokes. I mean, not not to be, you know, you brought up boobs. I’m like, I’m not like some one of those weirdo guys. But

I mean, come on.

We’re guys. boobs are nice. Let’s face it, and in that kind of stuff. So I mean, I guess my intent is try to get a laugh. I’m always trying to get a laugh. That’s what I want to do. I want I mean, like you and I talk, I’m a good refer. But, you know, sometimes, coming up with that stuff is hard for me. So I just I think I do that just to try to like, get a laugh on it.

And I find that you guys ignore me mostly, which is a frickin bummer.

Well, for me, I feel a little sheepish sometimes. Because, again, growing up the environment that I did, like all that stuff was taboo, and you just don’t ever. Do you feel sheepish?

Because it’s you or because Mike’s in the group?

No, I think I just feel sheepish because it’s me. And it’s like, oh, son of a bitch.

One of my rookie, that alarm again. It’s on Do Not Disturb. It does not matter. It will come through all alarms are meant to disturb. I know, I know. I don’t know if I turn it off. Anyways, go ahead.

So I guess it makes me sheepish when I hear those jokes or comments. because growing up in a very Christian conservative home where you just don’t talk about that stuff. It was it was just taboo growing up. Yeah. And I think now, I’m still it’s not like a regular part of my vocabulary, I guess, why daily topics to talk about? Yeah,

I don’t know what it is about that. I mean, I have a guy friend at work that we joke about that stuff, too. Not all the time. But it’s like a superficial relationship. And I don’t know, I guess I’m, you know, I had those group of friends that I kind of aren’t friends with anymore, because that’s all it was. Right? Like it was all talking about that stuff or ripping on each other or whatever. And I think I just it just got old. Like, I can get it. I like a little bit of it spiced in, but I don’t need it all. So that’s funny.

Yeah. It just brings to mind when I played Cards Against Humanity for the first time. Oh my gosh, you warned me. Oh my gosh, that is like next level. Awkward. Yeah. Oh, so I think I might have sent you a video of this. But one of my buddies who grew up at one of the churches that I was messed up by, he started mixing. I think it’s stuff Christian say, is the Christian spin off version. Okay. He’ll mix those cards with the Cards Against Humanity cards. Okay. Some of the stuff that comes out is just hysterical. Is it you’ll have to look on tik tok. I’ll send you the link Yeah, big word. Like, so bad. Like I can’t even say some of them because yeah, so bad. You’ll you’ll get you’ll blush. Yeah, pretty much. So that was my Okay. That was sort of the question. Yeah,

I was I didn’t know what to expect on that question with that group because there’s there could be anything in that group. I don’t know. My neck kind of it kind of goes along with the the other question so forgive me, but the whole john Verner episode you didn’t share it with anybody? No, I didn’t. And it really bums me out am reasons Well, yeah, I know. And honestly, I totally forgot to listen to it. You shared it in the Pellegrino thread. I think I’m gonna go back and listen to it now, but I forgot about it. But again, it’s just like, oh, man, like you put yourself out there. The whole point is to share it and like have this community and like he gets listens. We get more listens. I let him have him. Yeah, I know. And I was super bummed about that. And, and, and kind of the same reason I would guess it’s just not you kind of let loose a little bit. And you’re just

a little I told my entire story. It feels like like, I listened back to that episode. And I’m like, What the hell are you doing? Ben? You just took over his entire podcast and told your story.

Yeah, that’s tough as a podcaster going on other podcasters it’s tough not to just talk the whole time and I pretty much did okay,

well, that’s not entirely I talked a lot. Yeah, I don’t think it was inappropriate or too much.

Right? It speaking of talking like it was funny listening to you and Mike because you had a lot more speaking in that podcast and you’re not because I’m the talker. You weren’t there. And I thought Mike’s a talker too. I thought he would jump in but he stepped back and that’s There’s nothing wrong with that maybe he felt his role was as a guest host that you know you’re leading the show or what but I was like, Oh my gosh, so much bad and shut the hell up but

I you know, I feel listening to you. Oh, rude said I don’t know you were pretty wishing I was there that night. It was true. But that’s all I’ve heard the unedited version of that episode, man.

Hopefully you guys heard the little easter egg I left. It was so good. Yeah, I spoiled it for Mike because I thought he had already listened to it. And like, I was like, Ah, he’s like, I normally listen to the end of the song. I’m like, yeah, to the guy that fast forwards at the beginning, you do not listen to the end of the song that fades out. By the way, the song I’ve been just complete side note. I’ve been playing the same song at the end. It reminds me a Mumford and Sons so much. Oh,

I love it.

I have not changed it in the last 10 episodes. I’m just like, I totally dig it. I think it fits us. And so I’ve kept it. So if I notice the same song. Yeah, it’s a good song. But Alright, another question for me. Yeah. No, I don’t have another one. Oh, wait, you just asked. Yeah, you have asked when we should wrap around like 117. So I know everyone loves it. When I give the timestamp. My dad might complain about that, too. Hey, Mike, we’re at 118 in five seconds. He’s gonna turn it off seven seconds.

Eight seconds. All right. So this is going back to the church thing. Is your family going to church regularly now?

Oh, man.

No, why not? It’s super weird. And I’m sure I’ll hear it from Megan a little bit. I’ve, and this falls on me too. So when you hear this, you’d be like, Well, hey, whoa, you can do it too. I that I’ve kept asking him like, why are we not going back like Avery’s asked to go back. And we kind of briefly talked about it, and then we don’t talk about it. And then it never gets discussed again. You know, the kids were gone this weekend. So I mean, typically on a weekend if we were going to church regularly, if the kids went to I think it was at a friend’s until he was at Grandma’s um, we wouldn’t go to church. We went out stayed up late was slept then you know, it’s our time to be away from kids. But yeah, yeah, I don’t know, huh. And I said, like, I kind of want to go back. And

you go back on the weeks that you’re doing production? Oh, I’ve been back doing that for six or eight months. So that’s just you going? Correct. Okay, and how often? Is that weekly? Oh, god, no. Okay. It’s a once a month.

So you go once a month, do your production and then that’s the church for the month. Yeah. What’s your smart? You’re smart? Like, are you judging me? I’m not judging. I’m trying not to walk. No, it’s not judgment. It’s interesting, because we had a guest preacher a couple of weeks ago. Talk about that very thing. Should we judge other Christians?

No, you shouldn’t. It’s not your place. Read the Bible. Tell me what it says, bro. If you call me bro, I swear to God, I’m gonna kill somebody. No, no, it is not your place to judge people going to church? I would 100% turn on somebody that did that. I’d be like, yeah, you just pushed me further away.

not judging you like saying you’re a horrible person? Because you didn’t go right. But I would. I wouldn’t judge I would encourage you to dig deeper into why. Yeah, you haven’t gone? Yeah, I mean, it’s just as a friend and right fellow Christian person. Yeah.

I don’t take lightly to that. That actually will piss me off if people do that. Because it’s like, really, it’s none of your business. I’m not saying that to you. But in general, it’s like, I don’t know. I just don’t like that part of Krishna. Only God can judge me. Well, it’s not a judge thing. I wouldn’t say you’re judging me. You’re just encouraging me. But what do you care if I go to church or not? That doesn’t have no bearing on your salvation?

No, but my caring is because I I see value in it. And I want you to Yeah, but you should

love me or loved value. You also don’t believe in homosexuality, but you have friends that are and you love them are different? Do you tell them that they should repent? Or go to church?

Should I tell them to repent? I don’t know. That’s a loaded question. No, it’s not it. Okay, take that part about should you tell them to go to church? It’s not my place to tell them to go to church encouraged. It’s different. Okay. So I see it as different, like, between somebody who has already a friendship, that is somebody who has been part of a church or has made faith part of their life, if that’s something that is or was part of your life and your story and your values, and then you stop going. I feel far more comfortable asking checking in about that than I do. Going to one of my other friends who’s never been to church and saying you go You should go to church. Right.

But my whole, I guess, Have you listened to this podcast? The last 131 episodes? Have you heard the wavering from the beginning? Yeah, yeah. It’s always been that way. I feel like I’m a Christian. I feel like I believe in God. But there’s a lot I don’t you know what I mean? And I think, Megan for that, how that helped a lot. But I also am not just going to go by myself, you know, and and I’m not blaming Megan, and and we’re all in this together. Right? Um, this is not a song. Yes, it is. But I guess my point is, is like, I just don’t take lightly to that. I don’t like when people do that. It really bothers me because I feel I’m judging you

know, I

don’t feel you’re judging me. But I mean, you can say the same thing about weight loss. Like, if you’re 500 pounds, I care for you. Should I tell you to get off your ass? Yeah.

I think you should really. I would hope if you saw me starting to go the opposite direction. Well,

again, so we I guess you have to clarify. Like, a deep friendship was saying it was somebody an acquaintance or somebody you don’t know. Right. Like all those things? I think the answer changes, because I guess you’re right. If I saw you going off the deep end, I’d be like, Hey, man, we got to talk like, I love you. I don’t want you to die. Yeah, you know what I mean? So I guess I guess I can, I can see that with a friend. But I don’t know. I don’t like anyone telling me what to do. I just don’t, it’s it’s tough for me. It’s tough for me to work in partnerships and all that stuff. But, um, so what are you actually saying over there? You want me to go to church, right?

I’d like you to just because from my own personal experience, especially recently, yeah, just get so much out of it. Oh, I always do. Yeah,

it’s not about that. It’s not about I don’t see value in it. It’s just, it’s one of those things, right. It’s like, we don’t watch online church, right? Because it’s, it sucks. You don’t know the connection. It’s not even close to this, which I feel really bad about. Because I know a lot of people that you know, can’t go or what for whatever reason, because I think it always be part of the church life is the live stream. I don’t think that’s ever going away. Ours is

really our pastor said very frankly, churches meant to be in person in the building. But what about those that are vulnerable and can’t get to church? Go to hell. Your salvation isn’t paste Justin’s going to juris

tongue in cheek. But my point is that that’s interesting. He’s pulling it she whatever.

I love saying she like I love how already hate mail.

I don’t want to go to that. I get hate for that one. But no, I’m just wrapping it up and wrapping up the show in general. I just I don’t know. I don’t I do feel a little judged from you a little bit. And it bothers me.

It’s not judging. It’s just me saying from the beginning our friendship you. In fact, it was your idea to include some sort of God thing in the podcast. Yeah, number, right. Yeah. So I’m just saying if that’s important to you, then but again, I just listen

to the all the episodes, like you know, my doubtfulness of it. And so does it surprise you that I’m having trouble going back?

No. Okay. doesn’t surprise me. But I guess where I’m coming from full transparency is. It’s not like I’m mad at you for not going I’m not judging you. Like, my view of Jason isn’t down a notch because you’re not going to

jail? What if I decide to never go to church again, that’s your prerogative. But I’m gonna bring it up every other podcasts.

But I guess it’s just a it’s like, I’m hearing something so good that I just want to share in that and just like I said, in my notes on that church, yeah, it’s too good to keep to yourself. So I’m just like, Hey, I was going with that.

Yeah, don’t take my wallet. Like, I’m mad. It’s just, that’s always been, it’s always been a topic, you know, like, my parents forced me to go to church, you know, I mean, so like, there’s a lot of hypocrisy. And I know you’ve experienced that same hypocrisy as well. So do time. Benjamin do time. Understood? That’s a good question. That one really got me move out of my seat a little bit. Literally when I fell down I don’t think that was during that question, but Well, guys, thank you guys for listening to threads podcast. As you’ve heard, this has been like a great episode like we’ve I don’t know. I just we just need to be in person. Yeah, exactly. It’s the The remote is tough. Even when we’re record podcasts, it’s tough. It’s tough to stay focused, isn’t it? Oh, especially with multiple screens and like, you know, the other person’s talking and you’re like, You’re not even looking at the camera, you know, I

mean, but

yeah, what do we got next? We have no idea. We have not planned for that yet. So we’re working on it. Godspeed. Thanks, guys for listening. Have a good one.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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