Transcription 127

Hi guys, welcome to threads podcast life unfiltered. Thank you so much for joining us tonight or tomorrow or in the morning or in the evening whenever you’re listening to this show. We really appreciate it. Tonight. We have a special guest. He’s been on the show before. Mike vandrie. Hey, how’s it going? And no, Ben tonight, he’s actually subbing in as the host. Yes. subbing for Ben. I would say he’s not. He’s a guest host.

Wow. No, I have finally made it the guest host status I have I have fan girl, two guest hosts.

Well, we appreciate Mike coming on Ben. And I’d said, You know what, Mike would be a good fit for our show. And we all want some time off. And so yeah, at the end of May, Ben and Mike are going to sit down and record an episode. Yes.

Without me, which is very nerve wracking. And Ben is going to have to be sitting there pushing everything because I would have no idea. Well, I

yeah, I think I’m gonna have to specifically give him written instructions. It’s not that hard. But like, you saw just a second ago, I had to stop it because you just have to make sure the correct buttons are recording. Yep. So although I always record a master, so worst case scenario, if a channel doesn’t get recorded, there’s a master that just has everyone on one. Awesome. So has it all in one spot. So you can edit everything in one which is kind of nice. I’m not gonna lie. But

so is it Ben, who’s going to edit or are you going to edit all probably still edit?

Yeah, I’ll probably still add it. So awesome. So I just want to tell people that are new. I have not done this before. But threads podcast is all about. We just talk about shit. Okay, there we go.

Okay, or it’s life, life unfiltered. And it’s talking about the real stuff of life and taking away the Facebook fake.

Yeah, it’s a bunch of dudes. And we have bunch of interviews and we just, we try to be authentic as much as possible. One of the things that we’re doing for the show a little segment is we’re listening back to old episodes and man alive, like you can honestly like I thought back then I was being authentic. But I hear some of the things I say and I’m like, I’ve actually even changed the way I think about things. Totally. I mean, I can hear it in my voice. Yeah. So it’ll be fun to look back. But yeah, that’s what threads is on authentic conversations about mental health uncomfortable conversations. Faith. Yeah, three buckets. Okay, I think I got it. Ben is so much better than either you so so he’s like, the guy just is like he drops it in so smooth. But uh, so yeah, so that’s what threads is all about. We would love for you to support us on buy me a coffee go to buy me a coffee calm slash threads podcast. You can support us on a monthly basis or a just a random, but we’d appreciate the support goes to all the fun stuff in here to pay for and all that. So we are working on getting some sponsorships. We do have a sponsorship template made. Wow, you guys are moving forward. Yeah, we’re moving forward. We’ll see what happens. It’s like it’s this weird thing with threads because everyone’s a sponsor. And no one’s a sponsor. Okay. Because think about it. There’s not really a niche for our show. True. I mean, okay. Mental health. I mean, knocking on therapists doors Yeah, it’s probably not a wild area for money but churches right that’d be weird that doors not gonna do that because then we’re affiliated with a church.

I know exactly. Yes. There really is no niche for you to go knock on doors. It do you say niche or niche. Like that’s your niche most the time niche niche if I’m trying to be fancy, yes. That’s a niche. Yeah, this is that’s a niche. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. I always wondered what that was. If you could say either, I think so. I think you just sound nice. She just like, just really, I’ve learned in life. Just Just say boldly and people will most of the time. Just review. Surely if you are confident in anything. Yep. You can do anything. Like, if you’re going to walk into someplace that you’re not supposed to. You just walk in with confidence. Yep. And when someone asks, you just keep on going. Yep,

totally, totally. Just go and people don’t people normally don’t even question you. You’re like, oh, they’re supposed to be here. Because they’re walking in with confidence. Yeah, exactly. So, um,

so yeah, so let’s, before we get into our icebreaker, let’s recap the last two episodes. This is another thing we’ve been trying to do. What do you think the last two we had one that I felt was? Okay. So which one was that? That was with Rachael parenting. Okay. What do you think about that one?

I’m assuming listen. Yeah, totally. You don’t listen. I just want to make sure that you did. Yeah. You know what we’re talking

Yeah. So it was good. She is very intense. In very loud which is totally fine. Like darker. Yep, totally fits that. But But I loved how she just confirmed Natalie and I when Kim joined our family, we had a rigid skin. And it felt crazy. Yeah, you thought you felt like you’re being mean? Oh, I felt like we were in mean like we would start winding down for the night at six o’clock so that he could be in bed by seven because we needed set our 12 hours of sleep. Okay, and he needed to wake up at seven for school. I felt like we were mean parents. But but but he but he had trauma in his past. Right. And so we needed to do that and just hearing her say that. It’s like, Yes, we did the right thing.

So that was cool. So let’s, let’s I’m digressing already. Let’s talk about cam a little bit. How long has he been in your life? Um, he

joined our family in 2017. So so just about four years ago. Wow. He was eight when he joined our family. So that’s pretty still fresh. Yeah, that’s still fresh. And yet it feels like a lifetime. Like I cannot think of life life pre cam. Like, feels like he’s always been part of our family. So okay. Yeah,

yeah. When we were listening to the thing Ben talked about in the first episode with threads about miracle and had been a year. Yeah. When we were podcast. No, like, a year. Yep. I mean,

that’s crazy. It is crazy. Wow. Well, things are going well, I assume. Yeah. Things are going good. As good as possible. Right? parenting, right. It’s never perfect, but it’s going great. He’s an awesome young man. It’s awesome to be his dad and hang out with ager. He’s 12. But he’s, he’s becoming a teenager really quick. All right, which is good and bad, right? He’s stronger, so he can help me with projects. That’s why you have kids No, seriously lifting stuff. He’s strong enough to like truly like his like, muscles are just really old. I’m like, Yes, you can help me nice. But there’s the attitude that comes with it. And you’re like, ah, the teenage attitude, but he’s a great kid. Do you have some good?

Do you have things that you do around the house that you want him to do? But you know, he’s not going to do them correctly. And you don’t let him do it?

I’ve started starting to let him see that’s the backyard. The front I still am picky about that. But our back has our dog and our dog runs it up. So yeah, like it just needs to be mowed but like cut it down, boy. Otherwise his lines are just be random. And that’s fine, right? He’s 12 you do that? But I just can’t. I have to mom straightest was funny. Two years ago, I

had a neighbor kid doing it. And I finally was like, I can’t do it. You’re like, straight enough. I know. But Jason picky. No. Right. And then, so two episodes ago, you had written that so awkward here your friendship with Ben and I talked about well, not being there. I needed a conversation with awkward to listen to. Yeah, Ben was so awkward. So it’s funny. while you’re recording in here, you make a lot of eye contact, which I’m okay with, but I’m having trouble with it. Okay. No, no, keep doing it. I like it. Because I’m used to Ben he will do it. Okay. He’ll, like glance up at me. But then he’s off like looking like okay, but yeah, he was super awkward with that. And I don’t know, I just felt like Three’s Company. Yeah. Or no three. Scott Two’s Company. three’s a crowd. Yeah, sorry. There we go. And so, I don’t know. I feel he didn’t give his true feelings on that. And that’s okay. I think he got some of it across. Yep. But

I felt like the mistress who was hiding in the closet, with with husband and wife and our infighting about it. Like, I was just listening. I’m like, holy crap. This is awkward. But it was good. You guys needed to hash that out. You guys. Do Ben Ben and I have had some good conversations since so.

Well, I mean, which is good. In my head when this was all going on. It’s like we’re married. We’re like we’re dating or something. You know, I had in my head and vision in my head that you guys were closer in college and then realize that you weren’t and no, it was just kind of a random Connect. Not random connection. But later in life. Yeah, it was

well, and even like I was looking back through, like the times, we messaged back and forth, because I had to find something. It’d be like, every couple years, something major would pop up on Facebook from one of us and we’d message each other. Hey, how’s it going? How’s it going? And so or a praying for you in that because there’s a big life stage, but it’s really cool. Now that since then, been actually been able to develop a friendship with Ben. So yeah, right. And again, it’s weird because it’s interacting with three people and right, three’s a crowd. But yeah,

and then the whole tough mudder thing. Yeah. So I think it’s settling down though.

We’re all kind of trying to figure out why. I think we are figuring out how it works, right? Because we all have different friendships together. And that’s Yeah,

yeah, that’s really good. So yeah, that parenting one. I don’t know. I I’m glad you got some value out of it. I appreciate you saying that. I got no value. And again, it’s nothing against her. It’s just some, you know, some guests just don’t fit our flow or mo and that’s okay. It happens. No, totally. I think she’s doing a great job. And I and I appreciate her coming on the show, but it’s funny. She’s like, I’m gonna blast it out. And you we center the episode and we didn’t hear anything from her. Oh, I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe she didn’t feel like she clicked with you. I don’t know. Like, that. Could be but Yeah, I was one of those who I got done and I put my head on the microphone. I was like, that seems like work. It seems like work.

Yeah. It’s not fun. No, it’s not fun. Right? You’re doing this for fun. Yeah, exactly. And maybe more but you want to have fun doing it. Right?

For sure. So, and then we recorded with Zach and Brandon from say, What’s I never say their podcast, right? Say what needs saying? Say what? Say what needs? I don’t know. I’m terrible. But that was super fun. Okay, yeah. So that last? Yeah, that’s coming out tomorrow. Oh, nice. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we’re recording this on Thursday. So I love those guys. I’d love to do a side project with them. I told them I would do one. But if I didn’t have to edit or like I if I can sit down in front of the mic or Yeah, the wall. Yeah, amen. Just let me know the time. Yeah. All right. So let’s jump into the icebreaker. This is one of the things that we’re trying to do or revisiting old episodes. Not not probably the the wife, we did the wife recap, I remember that. I won’t revisit those. Nothing gets them. But we want to do the actual episodes where we got down and dirty.

Yeah, no, that’d be interesting with some of your first guy. So I was thinking this on the way here to actually bring them back if possible. Yeah. And to see how their life has changed in the last three years. Yeah, that’s a good idea. Just a random thought as you’re going through that, but yes, but yeah, the wives on that. Wasn’t that just breaking down? What happened the time before?

Yeah, it was just to give each host a break. Yeah. Cuz because we were we wanted to record every week. But we didn’t want to record every week, like a lot. It’s a lot. So I think that’s what it was. And it was fun at the time. But, you know, we found through the podcast, and you might through years, it just things just change. You just kind of get sick of it. And you’re like, you know what, let’s change this up a little bit. So yep. So I’m gonna play a couple of clips and then we’ll just kind of talk well, actually, let’s talk about what I this is kind of what I wrote. I noticed in the episode that I forgot that Megan and I podcast for a while. Yeah, and I think I finally deleted them all. Oh,

did you I was kind of saying you should you should have released them to the world.

Yeah. We’re actually thinking about doing one again. A food review. Oh, food review? Yeah, just something. We both love good food. And I think it would be fun to like eat the food. She wants me to try different foods like I’ve never eaten Thai food. Wait, you haven’t no life changing? Is it? Yes, it’s Chinese, but less greasy and better flavors. Okay, so I’m a little worried about it. But like yeah, I think we’re going to do something like that. Not sure sushi. You’re going to try sushi? I’ve never tried sushi. You should though. Also good. She loves that too.

You should come out to Holland and have some good sushi. Would you stop here pressure me coming out to Holland you I love it. You act like Holland is like a world away from Granville. Even though I just drove here. I know. I almost asked you Did you pack a snack? I have my coffee and I my water to barely make it here. But a couple of things there. There was a dog in the background. Yeah, I

hear that. Yes. And then we apparently I was watching a dog named Lucy. So for a while we were I was doing um, it was called rover and I was boarding dogs at my house. Yeah. And then this is even before my dog Brutus passed away. And then it gets too stressful for him. I really enjoyed it because you got to sample other dogs. Yeah, I think that was a I was a boarding a dog. But I mean, like, why is there a dog in the studio with a dog? Like I hear that rattling? Yeah, it’s driving me nuts.

See what’s funny is like I heard it, and it didn’t bother me at all. Like, whatever. It’s there, but didn’t bother me. But yes, like, yeah, did Be honest. Yeah.

So what about you, before we listen to it? Did you have anything verbally to?

Yeah, well, I mean, how much we get into it now. But like, I was just going along, listening to it. And then at the end, Ben just was describing an experience where his co workers were talking about pregnancy. And Ben just racked me when he talked about how much that hurt. Yeah. Because of him. And like, actually texted him this week. And I was just like, me. Me too. Yeah. Because our journey was struggling to get pregnant when miscarriages. There’s adoptions that failed. Yeah, so like, I’m even getting emotional now talking about it. But like, I remember those conversations. And I remember like 2009 to 2015 I hated those years because people just those conversations or somebody you knew got pregnant or some who got married five years after Yeah, pregnant. or they’d say that they struggled to get pregnant for three years and you’re like we’ve been trying for or for three months. Sorry. They said, You’ve been struggling for three months. It’s like, you should try three years. Right? You know, it’s just one of those. It’s just like me and I got it. Like I was like, I totally get why Ben just got up and hightailed it out of there.

I really love how God circumvents not sure that’s the right word. You know, this show I make up words or I use words and appropriately, but like how your relationship has come. You guys are friends now and like you’re adopted. Fathers like you went through the same struggle like what a great bonding experience. So awesome. Like for me like, it was it’s almost like God saying that that he saw my pain at that time. Yeah, because there’s somebody else who went through it. Yeah. And it’s weird, right? I

feel bad that Ben went through it. And that’s our connecting point is pain. Well, you fit you wish that you could have been there for him and vice versa? Yes, for sure. But he was way over on the other side of the country, and we weren’t talking about it. Do you fit? Did

you feel alone with that? Did you have any support system at all? Um, your parents are? No cuz no one got it. No one gets it, right. I

mean, unless you’ve gone through it, you don’t add it. Like people can say all that sucks. But you’re like, you’d know you don’t really get the pain that’s going on. Yeah. And you don’t get the longing that’s going on. And so yeah, I felt totally alone in those years and frustrated, mad at God at those and like, why, you know, so hearing that from Ben, I was just one of those moments of somebody gets that. Yeah, I don’t have to explain anything about it.

Yeah, that’s it. We kind of dealt the same thing with have an autistic son while it’s it’s better now. But when he was young, it was tough. He was a runner. Yeah. Like, didn’t understand like not running in the street. I mean, even at an older age where you should know that and, and just, it was just stressful. And no one understood unless you had an autistic. Yep. So did you find like other parents were thinking you were bad parents? Because your kid was doing that? I don’t think so. Okay, I know, I never felt judged. Okay. I’m sure we were. But I see. That’s the thing. Like, and maybe this is bad. I never, we never took him anywhere. Okay, too much, because we just didn’t want to get put into that situation where he was throwing a fit, but he’s come leaps and bounds. So it’s like, most kids, most people don’t even know unless you start having a conversation with like, okay, you’re a little odd doctor. But you know, it’s not like he can’t talk. Yeah, thing like that. So, but he said that we have grown as podcasters.

Well, we. So I was listening to the middle part. You guys were just talking about some news articles you found? It was like 20 of them. At least it wasn’t but it felt like it? Well, when we did our survey.

Yeah. You know, he had to like, you know, beg people to Yeah, they almost did. The entire theme was get rid of current event. Yeah. And I was surprised by that. Yeah.

But I mean, listening back, I realized why people said that. And maybe even I said that. I don’t know why, just because it was just so long. And I’m like, I could probably just Google that. And it’s not like the deep like actual like life on life and digging in and be friends. It’s just like, here’s this article, you know, so it got long.

I think our hope was that we would have an emotional connection to the story. So I think towards later in the years, we tried to dig in a little bit for more. Yeah, deeper stuff.

I mean, it was also your second second episode. I

noticed too, like we were we were having a pre meeting and we left that recording in because Did I say something like, yeah, I’m gonna press the live stream now. Yeah, like that. I was like, who left this and, and then I’m watching the ticker time down and I hadn’t even rapped yet. There’s like, 15 seconds left. I’m like, how is this gonna end? I’m like, okay, talk to you later. It’s like, man, we have come along. Well, and

there was something like you guys did like your own ads in that one. Yeah, I forgot about that, though. We’re just talking about it was like, wait, we’re just gonna, it’s ticking down. Like, what are you talking about? Oh, no, my God. But you guys have grown so much. It’s just cool to see. Especially since I’m beginning my podcast journey. And in You’re giving me feedback. Yeah. Which is good. Yeah. It’s cool to see like, you started there, too. Well, the sad part is I had had a podcast going before that now. Really? Well, the gig economy. Okay. I didn’t know that.

Yeah, we started that six months prior to threads. Okay, so you’d been doing it for six months. Had some chops? Didn’t tell. Alright, let’s play these. Yes, yes. I think this first one is about loving country over God theme again. I think this is the second episode. The first one. He talked about it too, right? Yeah, I think so. Okay. All right.

All right. My buddy Mike. injury from college. Nice. Good.

Let’s just play this one because I already have it up there not labeled. So this is where we talk about Mike sprays, kids. Yeah, that sounds weird how it’s written in though. So the premise of this little bit was we went gave each other a number and we went down in our Facebook feed and we just mentioned who what the post was and this happened to be this happened to be Mike. So

guy, he’s got a picture of him sitting on his porch and he’s got a water hose, whatever you call a gun. garden sprayer sprayer. Yeah. sprayer. Yeah, that’s not politically. He says this is my job for the neighborhood water park with water parking quotes. What a tough life I live. That’s awesome. So it looks like they’ve got some neighbor kids through the yard. Okay, I thought he maybe had a made up, slip and slide with garbage bags. No, he’s just squirting the sprayer out. As kids are running by on a hot day. That’s a great idea. Like, yeah, in advance, like what’s not politically correct saying, john,

I think gun. Good lord. I know. But like, it sounds creepy, like and I realized that’s a stupid thing to post. I can’t believe I would post that. Yeah, like,

well, that’s just the reflection of how much things have changed since this was 2018. Yeah, everyone’s getting canceled for shit like, yeah, you’re so worried about doing anything? Of course, it’s completely innocent. But I had said something like it didn’t I say there was a big hose. Yeah, so I was listening, listening back to it. And I clearly you don’t say it’s a bit close. But uh,

yeah, it was. Yeah, that was but it was the first time I was ever mentioned on this show. And it was it was meant to be and it was also not awkward then to listen to that, right.

It was meant to be like this. Yeah, friendship. All right. I don’t know what this one is. Let’s see. How does music affect your life? Oh, oh my god. So I’m just gonna play this one. I don’t quite remember how it finishes. I love music. I know you do. So I have a music, don’t you? Well, I have been I took a break. Yeah, sort of. Exactly. So I’ve been so busy with other things. I did take a break from drums. I did buy a drum kit over a year and a half ago and I had been taking life lessons once or two hours a month. Awesome. Love the drums always wanted to play music. I’m one of those people with music when I hear songs that I like, I get goosebumps. Okay, so why did you because my actually, everyone Mike pulled these clips. This is what he wanted to talk about. So why do you want to talk about that one? So have you played drums since then? No, I sold the set really totally done with it totally sold the set for 500 bucks. Some old cooter

bought it. I found it so sad because I’m like, I think he’s doesn’t play anymore. And you know, in the whole clip and beyond that, like you’re like I love It’s goodbye. No. Like, kind of like the the Holy Spirit you know, and like, dang, I’ve never seen that side of Jason.

I love music. I only such a music guy. Like, I get so emotional with music. Okay, like one of my bands that I really love is poppy evil. They’re actually local. They’re from Muskegon. They say they’re from GR but they’re from i don’t know why i guess no one wants to be from Muskegon apparently well, and people in the rest of the country don’t that’s true. They know Grand Rapids. Yeah, or, or Detroit, but they have some new songs now. And I hear it like, I’ll hear it going to the gym. Okay, I have satellite radio, and there’s a channel fancy boozy. It’s I got, they will. If you sign up for it, and you say you don’t want to pay that much. Yeah, I pay like $4. But it just seems boozy. It does sorry. channel called octane and they play out like new rock. And like, last week, their new sound came out. I’m driving the gym. I’m like, 540 in the morning going down. I’ve been roasted. And they have a female drummer that amazing. She’s like beating the crap out of the drum. She’s a double baser kind of girl. And just like, like that. And yeah, so I really love music. But yeah, I played it. And I could play sweet child of mine. Nice. Yeah. So

when are you going to start playing again? I’m not come on.

I’m into podcasting. I’m into plants. I got a grow room, growing flowers and vegetables like, oh, man that I have one room. And that’s that room. And I’ve already converted into a plant room. It was the drum room. Okay, I had I played him for a year, and then they sat for a year, okay. And I told myself if I don’t pick them up again, with a year I myself

Yep. And that’s fair. I just say if something you love, maybe maybe later on in life, I don’t have the time, maybe later on in life, that once the kids are grown, and you’re like, retired, and you’ll just start playing drums again, that I’m not going to rule that out. That’d be fun. I’m not gonna rule that out. Okay. And then the last one.

I think a lot of my struggles with Christianity and with faith in general is that I get so frustrated with how wrapped up Christianity gets with patriotism with America. And, you know, God existed a long time before America did,

right. I mean, I disagree with you a little bit. I on the flag thing. I would say the the American flag goes first. It doesn’t mean that is my first and you know, but that’s just how it is. Do you like my attitude? Is he finished as like? Yeah, right. Well, I don’t agree. I’ve actually changed my tune on Really? Yeah. Okay. That was what I was gonna ask if you have the same view that you did in 2018. I don’t think the American flag should be in the church.

Yes. Ben and I and mostly Ben has a one that conversation he mostly has.

He’s just changed my view on it a little bit. I kind of agree with them. Like, I don’t like well, this whole Trump thing. With religion and patriotism in the church has really given me A bad taste in my mouth. Yeah. And so I think over time with that, I’ve realized like, I don’t really want to associate patriotism with Christian. Yeah, it shouldn’t be that. Yeah,

that’s awesome. But again, you and I both look like people who, who want to mix those and want to have, yeah, some good old Trump flags.

Yeah. I talked about in the last podcast with the guys when we recorded with them. I was like, Yeah, I have American flag hat that I don’t wear anymore. And it really frustrates me because I look like a trumper. And if you voted for Trump, that’s fine. I don’t hate you by any means. But I mean, I didn’t vote for him. I i think i think he was bad for for whatever went on for america and i love America, but it just sucks that I kind of look like a two year beard with the hat. Right? You you would fit that tats, right. That’s Yeah, yep. Now, one of my, the guy we were talking with, he’s like, now you don’t have a magga hat on. You’re fine. I was like, yeah, maybe I’m just thinking that people think that but I don’t. But Ben will be happy to hear that. I do agree. I the flag shouldn’t be. Well, I’m fine with it. I guess being in the church, but it should never be like, over the Christian flag. Yeah. Because there should be no flags. Yeah.

Yeah. Really. I don’t understand what it is. A cross might be a better thing than a flag.

But would you have a problem with somebody in like, Nigeria, a Christian church having their Nigerian flag in there?

Yeah. Yeah, it’d be the same same idea matter where the only way I think it’d be okay with flags, if like most of the world was all their flags, because then it’s showing like it’s throughout the world. Once the American flag it’s like saying this. This is America, and it’s mixing it weird.

Yeah, I mean, I guess it being in America. I mean, yeah, it’s going to be the American flag. But yeah, I agree. This whole frickin patriotism with religion is super weird. Yep. And like, and, and people think like, I don’t love America, because I say that, but like, I definitely love the Fourth of July.

I love the flag out before sports games national anthem. Sweet. But the church let’s let’s keep that separate. Let’s Yeah, let’s not mess up. Right, because we’ve seen them mixed together. And it’s weird and awkward. So yeah. Yeah, it’s, it’s a weird little thing. Yeah. So we’re gonna move from here to our personal update, because we don’t want to be Facebook fake, we want to be real with each other. And and I think it’s really cool to model this. And I’d like to say you guys don’t just model this on the show. But even on the thread run, you guys model that? Well, it’s been awesome for me. You know, as we’re trying to work out for the tough modders we’re doing that. To have guy friends that are just honest and real. And sometimes sometimes you guys will kick my butt forward. And sometimes you’re like, nope, today sucked. And that’s okay. How has

it been into being in that thread? with all three of us? So good.

Yeah, it’s been so helpful, because there’s days I don’t want to work out.

Well, I mean, just in general, like, oh, friendship wise. Without I think.

I think it’s good. I think it’s been helpful for me overall. You know, and even days when I’m having really shitty days, you guys are okay. You didn’t do that bad today. I’m like, thank you.

Yeah, yeah, I always wonder how supportive you should be because sometimes I see it I’m just like, whatever. Which is fine. Yeah. Yeah, well, like today you posted like your, your frickin walking workout. I’m like, dude, my heart rate doesn’t even go up when I said like, were you running while you were walking the dog? I was walking almost four miles an hour you must have been hauling because mine doesn’t even register I guess I don’t go for speed walk.

Yeah, I was I was just instead of working now we can we’ll get to like unmet some back issues. I can’t lift weights right now. Yeah, sounds like crap. I need to work out. Sorry. attentionally went faster. I walked fast. Mike. My poor dog was coming along and she’s just like, almost running. She’s Dad, what do you do? What are you doing? Dad? This is like her her college like jangling? Like, we were like, what the world’s going on? What’s Mike doing out there? So why don’t you tell us? I have a few things. But why don’t you tell us your new connection? Yeah, so one of them right new connection. We want to build the relationship so we were able to meet some more neighbors through kickball game that happened and I dominated that kickball game. I’ve also taller than most of them even even the other adults who are there I was I was like that really big kid. You know like all little so you adults who are playing kickball? Yeah, there’s some adults playing and then the mostly kids and we’re trying to help the kids learn because all these kids haven’t played baseball or kickball. Like they have no idea. The rules is the same as baseball. Yeah, but most of all, I haven’t played Can you throw the bottom to take them out or not? We did. Yeah, we kind of like didn’t do that. Because you nursed it that well in today’s world, like, what do you do? In this like the kickball? We use those like the big actual like kickball. It’s not like the old rubber ones. Okay, like where like it could enact some of these kids over?

Yeah. You don’t want to be that dad on the news. Local dads. creams kid in the face with a ball the tag amount. Yeah.

And so like and I was playing a little too hard. I think because I hate losing. But the team I was on one like 31 to 11. So it feels like it’s justified. One to 11. Yeah, it was, it was awesome to be on my side. I can’t imagine the other side. But what’s really cool is meeting more of my neighbors. That’s just important for us as a family, we want to meet our neighbors love them, well, we just want to be Jesus to them. And so meeting more is awesome. So that’s one connection. Another one is as a pastor preacher who’s like, he’s really talented Bennett, big churches, and I always try to get better at my job. So I actually reached out to him. That’s not like me at all, like talking about Ben cold calling today. You know, I wouldn’t do that. You couldn’t pay me enough money to go on the phone and be like, hey, so, but like, like, actually reached out to this guy and like, Hey, can we have coffee? I’ve heard about awesome stuff. And he’s like, yeah, so I was proud of myself, because I normally wouldn’t do that. So he’s a preacher at a bigger church. He was and now he actually just travels around to other churches. And so it’s just good to get some preaching tips from him. So that was that was a fun new connection. I’m just proud of myself for actually, basically, it was it was cold texting. I didn’t call because that’s still weird. I cold texted them. I think that’s the norm now. Yeah. Like, who would? I mean, and who would answer Yeah, random number.

It kind of add? Exactly. Yeah, with the text. You’re like, Hey, what’s his name? Steve. Hey, Steve. This is Mike from blah, blah, blah. Yeah, like okay, by random number. He’s gonna let that sucker go do Yeah,

well, if it was me, I’d be like, ignore black all I won’t block it right away because I let them see if they leave a message. Okay. I’m saying but somebody doesn’t leave a message. Yeah. And my last one is with my neighbor, Scott. I’ve known Scott for a few years now but I’m actually had just him over for a bonfire. So really, kind of what we want to do is create kind of like what you Ben and I have but like in person with bonfires with other neighbor, dads. Okay. Cool. My heart is right. It’s It is hard to be a guy in this world because we’re not sure what we’re supposed to be anymore. Because Because like our wives are working and awesome. And kick ass. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And we’re like, what is a guy supposed to do in this world? And how are we supposed to interact? And we don’t want to be like, like, our dads are, like, just rub some dirt in it man up, you know, and so we’re trying to be that and help each other. So we’re gonna Scott and I are just gonna invite the other dads and they register run bonfire, some beer and just talk life and get you know what went well, what went bad. So just the dads. Yeah. Okay, because women have enough like connections already. It feels like the dads are left out and then just sitting by themselves. Yeah,

it’s different with Megan and I she doesn’t have a she’s super friendly. But she doesn’t have a lot of outside friends. Okay. maybe one or two. Really? Yeah, for a while there. I was encouraged. Like, go do something with your friend go find something to do. I don’t know what that is about her because she’s super social. Yeah. Everyone loves her.

She’s probably busy putting up with all of your stuff. So, Joe,

why did you even bring? I’m gonna edit that out? No, I’m just kidding. Yeah, I probably as I got too much shit going on my podcasting schedules. I’m telling you what, what’s really helped us in that regard is me putting it in the calendar. Yeah. Like, tonight you were in the calendar. I think it was either seven or eight. But threads is on Friday nights at seven. I put it in there. So yeah, she can look ahead and plan on it. Yeah. Because otherwise she’ll schedule something and you’re like, Well, actually, or she won’t and sees nothing on there and says, you know, I’m gonna take a little extra me time. And then I’m like, Oh, I have an interview at seven. Oh, Wednesday. I’m like, I’m sorry. Yeah. So I really try to be more. Just be more considerate. And for a while there. When I first started podcasting, I would just come down here. Okay, now I try to schedule time and be like, Alright, tonight, I need to work. I’m going to be here after dinner till bedtime. And I try to get it all done at once. Nice. Makes it easier with that. So before I go on, so what actually is your role in ministry?

I am I am the the youth pastor. So the head the top dog? Sure. The top dog? I

don’t know what size your congregation I mean, it’s

about five to 700 depends on COVID non COVID depends on a lot of factors. Right now,

you got to say pre COVID because that’s the only way to get a good accurate.

I mean, pretty COVID we were about 600. So good size. It’s a good size church, and there’s still a good number there. And so, yeah, so you have leaders underneath you. I’ve leaders on me like 1212 volunteer leaders. Couple part time people, like want to help out with music one who’s helping out with admin because I’m not an admin person, all the forums and I sort of saw it for that like buying supplies. I’m terrible at that. Yeah,

I’m awful. So tell me a weekly schedule for you. Oh my goodness, like you don’t have to go through everything. I just curious. Did you have Friday’s off?

I have Friday’s off. There’s some Sunday stuff that you know, there’s normal Sunday stuff. And then a lot of its prep depends if we’re in season where yapping lessons and messages, we have staff meetings, which I bet you love those. They list so little that applies to me it’s getting better because I just give what I think about anything because that’s what I do is just give your opinion. Like I do the same thing. I’m like, I’m gonna stay here for three hours. I’m gonna give my opinion and I’m going to tell you what I think. Yeah. Yeah, there’s just meeting with leaders texting leaders, students. Yeah, it’s just it’s a lot of communication and admin and and then offseason, it’s just more more time of student action or like prepping for a trip or going to Colorado. A lot of prepping for that. Cool.

So I was just curious, because I didn’t know a lot about it.

Yeah, so that’s, that’s kind of my weekly what I do and so yep,

so my connections. Every started running track, she’s running sprints, and that’s what I did. And I’m kind of like, super proud of her. Yeah. She not that good. But and I can say that I’m not gonna tell her to the face. She knows. Yeah, but she can improve. Yep. You know what I mean? So we’ve gone to the track outside this her and I and kind of worked on stuff. So it was kind of cool. It was so weird. Like I’ve had I’ve seen my son run track. Yeah, he ran track too, but it’s just so weird to be back in the stands. Yeah. As a parent.

Yep. Well, in stairs are going to help her doesn’t she run stairs with you? Yeah, that’s gonna help Sprint’s out Yeah,

yeah, she needs to because they do 70 in the middle school. Okay, and once you hit high school, it’s 100. Yeah. She dogs on the 100 the last like 20 yards. I’m like, babe, you gotta you got to push through that. So, but no, that’s been really good. I have trouble connecting with a little bit cuz she’s kind of she’s so like me. Like, arm’s length away? Yes. Like I got this. You know, type a justice. High justice value. Always trying to run the show. And okay.

Yeah. Which then sometimes is probably like oil and water with you too. Yeah, butting heads.

Yeah. So far. It’s been okay. I mean, she’s a teenager. She’s 13 should be 14 in December. So but it’s sometimes it’s tough to connect with her. So the stairs thing is kind of cool. Yeah.

Even though I also ruin that though. It’s fine.

With me, we’ve only done it twice. But I was I was encouraged when she was kind of bummed out about it. Like, that’s awesome that your kid was bummed out, but you were like, Oh, that’s kind of cool. It’s awesome. It makes you feel like finally they want to be with writing. Oh, I don’t care what it is that we need to connect if we need to go run stairs and I want to die then I’m going to do it. But that’s awesome. She’s doing that now. Track meats though.

I remember like my sister did tracking meats. I’ve been to some tracking meats for students. And like you watch them for what like 10 seconds 20 seconds unless they’re like a mile runner and you wait for ever Yeah, that’s what it was. And she does high jump too.

Which is hilarious because she’s sure like me, but she actually does okay at high jump. And she has she has the wrong form and her coaches hate it she like Do you know what a high jumper with the high jumpers? He runs backwards? Yeah. So she’ll run she stops with her thing and then like pops over? even doing the form right. But she’s actually clear in the bar. So it’s amazing. I hate to get after. I mean, I didn’t do the high jump but yeah, that’s what it was. Thankfully, they let the kids go after their events. Oh, good. But I mean they had they were they had a probably I left it started at four I left at 630 and they probably saw an hour left. Wow Yeah,

that’s a long time again as a parent you sit there or as I was a brother You know my sister and I was like freaking she was a sprinter. So it was like she was done. You know I sat two hours for you to run to races Yeah, for 40 seconds Kumbaya now once a daughter it’s a little bit better.

Yeah, but I mean, yeah, if you don’t run distance all of its gonna be sure yeah. But no, it was good. I felt good. It got a little chilly but, and then with my sister Nicole. It’s not a new connection formed. It’s just just her. I asked her to not blow my phone up and those kinds of things. She’s really respected my boundary. Oh, good. So that’s been this been cool. Good. Like I feel so much better since this whole paternity thing? It was really hard. It’s it’s been less hard. I did. I did send in actually, it’s it’s going out tomorrow. I did spit in another DNA test. Okay, I did one and it didn’t really reveal anything. Oh, really? So I tried the This one is the 23andme Okay, my sister I think pretty sure found out her day.

Okay. See, I remember spit in one of those vials because like my mother in law wanted to know where like my like my past like people and ancestors. There’s the word ancestors. From

my old people. It’s I remember spitting the vile but I remember like, if this But so much like yeah you almost get sick cuz you have to like drink more to like be able to spit at least I did well they told me not to drink anything for a half hour. So I waited a half hour and I’m split and then you have to fill up not with the bubbles it’s it’s got to be the bottom of the bubbles has to be above the line so I’m towards the end I’m like I got no Spitler rather dry Yeah, yeah, it’s weird. It’s like 10 spits to get that thing full. Yeah, that you need it for so it actually made me almost puke. How many times I had a spray. I know I easily puke. But you’re easy ghaggar like us. Like if you smell something really gross. He’s smelling.

Oh, so one job I had for five months, we cleaned out apartments that people moved out of so flipping apartments. And so the way we would do it, we’d have three people go into apartment, there’d be one that would clean the stove, one there to clean the fridge and one that would clean the bathroom. And that took an hour and then the rest of it took an hour. I was got the fridges and some fridges were left off with food in. I could barely stand it. It was disgusting and gross. Did you wear a mask? No, we didn’t wear masks and we use chemicals that are like professional grade cleaners. Like I probably lost some years of my life and some brain cells. I probably should have messed up. Yeah, we didn’t mask up at all. None of us that it was just nasty. And just I remembered like, just dry heaving. wouldn’t do it.

I would that would if I if that would have been my first day I would open it up and be like, I’m sorry. I got to go find it. Yep,

I actually should have just gone gotten an unemployment at that point. Because that was terrible. That was the worst five months of my life.

Yeah, I saw a tick tock of a lady’s like she has a cleaning business. Yeah, it’s it’s her pretending to be bolts on it like bolt persons. And he’s like, yeah, I’m just moving on my apartment. I just want my deposit back and, and he’s like, she’s like anything else? I should know. He’s like, no goes there. She shows pictures of the bathroom. The guy had the toilet had broke five years ago. And he just been using the bathroom and in the fridge. Yeah, it was so gross. I’m like, oh, how do people live like that? I don’t know.

I saw some nasty things. Oh, things you never want to see it. Yeah, I think things things. I don’t want to tell you. So nice. But no, that’s awesome with the boundaries because I know that’s probably been hard on you. Right? Because every time a text comes through, it’s probably brings you back. Yeah, but you don’t want to.

Yes with right then. Right. Like she was so excited about to find everything out. I am a little bit but I also does it comes with a lot of angst.

Yeah, for sure. so sure. What about a valley in a low point? Oh, man. Tuesday, Tuesday, I was not my normal salary. I got ticked off in life. So on Monday, my back locked up while working out trying to keep up with Jason’s progress. No. So trying to do that. And just I’ve never had my back lock up. But I I fell at work almost a year well over a year ago. And like, you know, I’ve been going to a chiropractor for that and other doctors and so I’m gonna use those muscles. Yeah. And all sudden, I’ve been using them a lot in the last month and all sudden they’re like, Nope, not today, buddy. We’re done. We’re done with these. And so I just was bent over. So then I decided Tuesday, I still want to workout because the clock’s ticking and I’m not getting any smaller I am but like, right I don’t want to waste the week. So then I was going to bike I was like okay, I’ll bike I have a bike I can do that. Well course right? The bike is sat there for a year the tires are flat. And our car air compressor shot sounds like you know, I might as well get a real air compressor. I’m 37 years old. I might as well have a real one. Yeah. So So I end up going to ace I end up buying a cheaper one but then the hose on was a bent hose. And then it was hard plastic. And so trying to get the and because the tank You’re so you’re hitting the tank you can’t get it on when you try to straighten the hose it like like, like creases that. So then I’m taking off weird like setup, it was terrible. It’s probably because it’s cheap. It’s the cheapest one so so then I went back there and I got the hose and then I’m like turn it on. It’s not letting air out and I’m like turning the nozzle while you have to push it into turn it so I’m ticked off and at one point I just scream I’m like, yeah, it came I guess was was like, just getting out of the shower. Like is like I could hear you from the garage. No man, but but I ended up redeeming that though. So I told him that like I just need a ride this I know we normally do this at this time. You know talking about that schedule. I said I just need to be out. I’m gonna ride for an hour. I was I think I was only 40 minutes all I could do Yeah, but I just rode and I came back and I was like, Okay, I’m good. I didn’t but I didn’t like scream at Natalie or cam was like you know what? I’m growing in life. But man, that was a low point. I was like crap. Yeah, I think it’s so pissed off about so frustrated

when Yeah, when you get frustrated and then I am I’m the pop off I get frustrated with the people around me and then I’m feel like dog crap. And I have to circle back and and that’s frustrating. Yeah. How is your back now? It’s good. Yeah, yeah. I decided to take The whole week off from lifting but it’s good now. And let’s just smart. I know you’re worried about time, but if you hurt yourself if you just, it’s a man or it it’s a month and then it’s really crunch time. Yep.

So I decided to at least work out but not you know, whatever. And I actually went down in pounds by not lifting so I you know, maybe that’s weird. That’s probably because all my muscle. Yeah, I can’t show you my big muscles right now. So anyways, that was my low point. Like, I worked so hard in therapy, you know, to not be have the ticked off, because I used to fly off the handle. Very easy. Yeah, it was one of those moments, you’re like, crap, like, I still have to work on it. But at least it’s better than it was right? When I go from that. So how about for you? What was the low point for you?

Um, honestly, in in Ben’s probably not gonna like this. But you know, he had made a comment the other day, and he’s done it before. Just about, basically, the generalized generalization of is that I shoot my mouth off like we’re talking about Yeah. And like, that’s the one that is the one thing that is just been a constant hiccup for me. Yeah, in therapy. Like I haven’t or and just in life. I haven’t figured out a way to work past that. And it kind of hurt. Yeah, it kind of her and he actually circled back right away privately and talk to me and which I really appreciated. And he said, I’m sorry. And so that was that was nice that he did that. But it did. Yeah. It did kind of hurt because I’m working on it. Yeah.

Right. And isn’t that the worst part? Is that right? He had no bad intention. Right. We were We were joking back and forth. And somehow and they just came off and I was like, awkward moment. Yeah, but but he even came back publicly though to and apologize. I like that. Like I was like, okay, at least he tried but yet still hurts and still suck.

And I’m fine. Like, I want my guy friendships to be okay. With like, Hey, that was bullshit. Yeah, that hurt my feelings. And I’ll tell people that. Yeah. But also to be able to, for me to get called out. Yeah, I’m fine with that. Yeah, like I that’s my problem. I say things. Yep. That are inappropriate

in winter. It’s from a friend who knows you’re working through right. It just hurts a little bit more. Yeah.

Yeah. So that’s actually what I’m working on. I’m actually trying to well, we can talk about that in the next update. So why don’t we just jump into it? Okay, mental health update. I’ll just go Yeah, yeah. So it’s going okay, starting to dig in some deeper stuff. But one of the things we’re working on is trying to get a gap between getting angry and, like getting a one or two second breather. Yeah. So you Okay, over there. Wow.

I like choked. Spit. I gotta Yeah, we are you burping over there? I got some good burps going on. I

don’t know what it is. But sir, it No, it’s fine. But I just need a pause before I react. And that’s the problem. And so one of the things she’s trying to I’m She wants me to do body scans. Okay. You feel like five and don’t you? Yeah. She’s like, Listen, I know. It sounds stupid. But once you get good at that, you’ll you’ll be able to figure out when your body’s starting to tense up so that you can stop it because right now it’s like zero to 60. Yeah. Six seconds. Yeah. Yep. And so yeah, that’s kind of what we’re working on digging in talking about, you know, my dad and my mom and it that just is a reoccurring theme. Yeah. How do I how do I deal with it? Yeah, it’s just like, everyone’s, everyone’s just moved on.

Yeah. And so hard. Now. Have you started that? Was that what EMDR? Have you started that? No, I

refuse to do it. Not in person. Okay. And I will not do with a mask on. So I won’t even do therapy with a mask. Oh, really? I think it’s stupid. Okay. No,

I’m not.

I don’t think the mass thing is stupid. I think trying to see someone’s facial expressions with a mask on. Yeah, it didn’t work. And so would you rather do telehealth style, without mass than in person with mass? Correct. Okay. Yeah. And it sounds like governor Whitmer is not taking the mass mandate down until 70% of people are vaccinated. So which might be a while that might be a stretch, because we’re already at I think we’re at like, maybe 50. Yeah, and it’s kind of just slowed to a screeching halt.

I think that was her way of trying to bribe us to do it like okay. Since since the numbers don’t work of cases, this might make you

do it. But I mean, it would for me, I mean, that’s the whole reason. I mean, of course, I’m trying to protect my federal fellow man, but that’s the reason I follow the rules and get the vaccine not not that she. I mean, it’s for a good reason. I want to get back to regular life for sure. Like, I want to go to a bar. I want to go to a restaurant and not feel like I’m around COVID-19 Yeah. So maybe this will help. I know people are. I saw someone post about it and there was like 750 comments and I’m like, Oh, I’m not even going into this. Yep.

Like do not click do not dangerous place to be right. Because it’s a love hate relationship with Governor Whitmer. So because with EMDR, she tried to bring up past things that happened so that you’re able to like, deal with them and or talk through them. Yeah,

I mean, that’s what it’s for to process it in a healthy way is that processing as I was six years old, yeah. Or something like that. And honestly, through this whole paternity thing, I think I experienced some things that I didn’t think I did in the past. Oh, no. Yeah. So just putting some doing some math and date wise and some words that some people told me Okay, I may have experienced something that I didn’t know I did. Oh, so your brain blocked it out. And yeah, bright brain black. A lot of Yeah. But I mean, when you find out your mom’s a whore, yeah, it sounds hard to say that. And people might hate me for saying that. But in your younger sister is not your dad’s and you were five or six years old. When all that stuff was going on. You probably saw some stuff. Yeah. I’m not saying I haven’t read from it. But yeah,

because I know for me, that was the most important for me, because I was instant pissed. Like, it felt like everything was just right here. And it took a little bit. It’s actually going back and like dealing with specific things of when that and just dealing with it. And he would like reframe it for me. I was like, You know what, you were not wrong in that that was wrong, that that happened to you as a six year old as an eight year old. You did the EMDR. No, I didn’t need to do EMDR. But like, brainspotting No, it was just he would he would, he would just bring me back. He goes, Okay, so tell me about your childhood. Tell me this. And then he’d be like, okay, when did that happen? You know, and then he would just name that. Like, for me, I hadn’t blocked those out. I blocked other things out. But yeah, I hit him blocked out certain things. And he could just help me reframe it, which was, I know, somehow, it helped, right? It’s this weird thing you’re like, why is talking about it as an adult and reframing it helping me now because you’re more logical and smarter. Now. I know, you can figure it out. Like back when you were six, you didn’t have any skills to do, right. And your body just remembers that. But your mind doesn’t have an effect yet. Yeah. So it’s just one of those that I know for me, so I hope for you, right? It opens back up, you can do EMDR and start remembering, it’s gonna be painful. And you remember, but yeah, but she can help you reframe it. And

yeah, it’s gonna be hard for me because I’m a control freak. So I know, who would have known. So you have to kind of let yourself go and be, quote, unquote, vulnerable, which I’m okay with, but it’s really like letting your like you close your eye. So you’re like, Okay, so yeah, I’m a little nervous for it. But I want to do it. I want it out. Because if it makes me like, be less of an app pop off, asshole. If it makes me be better relationship with my wife and my kids. It’s worth the pain. Yeah, for sure. Now, is

it going to be in just in the normal hour? can that happen? That’s so crazy. I can happen in an hour.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, she she talks. She describes it as like, you’re sitting on a train. The trains going by and your life is outside the window. So you’re just watching. But you’re not really in it? Yeah. And so she can pull you in. And now I would rather just go super deep. Yeah, I don’t want to be in this. But I don’t think it’s helpful when you go super deep because then you don’t talk. Yeah, you’re just kind of experience and she wants to be able to be like, okay, we’re done here. Like,

I freak out or whatever. So once she wants to be able to reframe it with you. So yeah, you like that word, don’t you? Yeah, instead of like, 10. Sorry, you’re gonna be like reframe, but you should have a stinger for reframe. reframe. reframe. reframe. So what about you? Are you going to therapy right now? I am now right now. But I know you can shake your head at me. I probably due to call my therapist backup. So the first time we went through, my feelings had locked out. But really what we dealt with was anger. And we went back to you know, what caused that as a kid. My anxiety skyrocketed over the last few days completely and utterly, like just the last few days. Yeah, we Yeah, so it happened. I mean, I texted you and man, I thought were first when you mentioned that you talked about a lot about me on that episode a couple times ago. You guys had mentioned Oh, Mike texted us. I was like, don’t so. Oh, did you think we were gonna bring it up on the show? I was like, What in the world? I know what like when you said you talked about me a lot. I was like, What is there and then yeah, then I got to that anyways. We’re in Disney. I just realized a lot of us control. Like when I’m on a ride where my legs are tight. And I feel like I have no control. It’s a little sketchy. So my cars because of the whoop band. I could see my heart rate went up in those, I guess skyrocketed, and I was like, Oh, now I definitely know where that came from.

But it could it be though that you’re just scared for the ride and That, okay,

now that’s to do with my childhood again, okay? Just not being in control of situations that hurt me. Okay. And I have since wanted to be controlled, like, you know, like, even with you offering to edit my podcast, I’m such a control freak, you are better at it. But like I’m like, but that means somebody else makes those decisions. And I don’t know, and I can’t handle it.

It was hard for me to tell, you know, yeah, I think it was a big move for me and be like, Listen, I don’t think we’re gonna work together. And that’s hard for me. I don’t know, cuz I want to be helpful. I

know, it was it was good for both of us. Because I was like, He’s right. Like, I would just end up being like, Oh, that’s so frustrating. He edited that that way. And just,

and it’s a labor of love, especially when it’s your own project. So like, you can sit back, you can be done editing, and you posted it. And you’re like, I did that. Yes. So yep. There’s something with that, too. Yeah.

So there’s anxiety and just something happened at work. Somebody said, somebody had something happen that that was kind of like a repeat of what happened a couple years ago. And that was just the worst time of my, like, professional career, like, there’s a six month gap. And that actually led to therapy. And so like, my body, I didn’t realize that awesome. And that was kind of that happened Monday. And no, that happened Tuesday. So that Tuesday when I’m just ticked off. And like I’m like what’s going on? So I did a quote unquote, body scan. I’m like, what’s going on? And I’m just feeling anxiety. Yeah. So I’m like, crap, and like, Oh, I know why. But yeah, I took that and just so journaling that out. You know, back when I was with a therapist, he said, you know, here’s a way to journal get through it. And he gave me this weird way of body prayer. It’s kind of like this weird like, oh, he was a Christian therapy. Yeah, he’s a Christian therapist. like you’d sit there and you would just like, you know, eyes closed, because apparently everything his eyes closed with their best dog. you’d start breathing and then you just let your body talk to God. I found that a little bit weird, but actually, I can see where he gets it from Scripture. I he I think he can actually pull it off. But that’s that’s a totally different podcast episode for your show. Yeah, well, that’s not very skeptical. But um, but it was it was just, it just has really it’s just deep breathing and just letting your body just let go of stuff. And so that’s helped me now I feel in a much better spot but I definitely do need to start seeing that therapist again for just anxiety levels. You know, COVID has made them crazy high. Yeah, has it? Yeah, cuz because I’m not in control. Yeah, can you talk about mask and unmask? And when are we going back and like you know even even our trip with cam to Florida We gotta move that three times. And I hate disappointing him and just how that brings up more trauma things for him because when you know he’s promised things and things don’t happen yeah. So like I’m not in control I’m not in control my job when you know things shut down and like Yeah, I love planning and controlling. This is a big but and then right things pop up and then you’re like, full all the way so mental health is I should probably start to see my therapist again. But he’s so dang expensive no insurance for he doesn’t take our insurance our brand of insurance because apparently that’s a bad brand. Well, what is your brand? It’s pretty health. Yeah. protocol.

Yeah. So we had their their terrible Yeah, they won’t take it. No, since they started. So spectrum actually owns priority. Yes. Is like such a, if I have any opportunity to throw spectrum, the hospital itself, I’m fine. Yeah, they shouldn’t own insurance company.

So I saw random fact I actually worked at a tax office with with the guy who actually created that idea. He was at Blodgett and he was an accountant, okay. And they actually decided to to self insure their employees and then got this policy, you know, if their costs hit like $2 million, then this umbrella insurance so he actually created what then became priority how real actually knowing it, but yeah, he worked for Blodgett, which then became part of spectrum when they combine.

Yeah, I just think it’s odd, because they’re just basically cutting everyone out. That’s out of the network out, like both my wife and I pay cash. Yeah, therapy. Yeah, like, and they were both Priority Health and like, Yeah, no, not anymore. Yeah. So that’s super fresh. And it’s like

150 bucks an hour like this guy is he’s he’s a miracle worker.

Yeah, but he’s not cheap. Well, even my, my psychiatrist, she sent me a message she’s like, Oh, yeah, Priority Health isn’t gonna take any more so if you want to continue this is the price and it was like 100 bucks, man. And I’m like, why do I even have this app and insurance? Yeah, like

for the most important actually part of

it I’m sure there’s people out there that work but you just don’t want to pay as much you want the people in network so you don’t have to pay out as much Yeah, and I get I get the business mind of it. But I don’t think what is the what is the government or an organization that stops that stuff? Is the FCC No, I have no idea there’s there’s a you know, that stops like mergers and stuff. Okay. Oh, this

is not Yes, for the people. Yeah. They should have done that with this one. They should have seen the writing on the wall that they were going to just like, start, you know, whatever they’re doing want to make sense as a therapist, right. If If you normally can Bill 150, and they’re paying you What? 5075 Yeah, of course, you’re not gonna take it.

Yeah, thankfully, my therapist, she only bills me. 105 Yeah. So,

but that’s so that’s, you know, that’s a good chunk of change. Yeah, I’m

only going every other part of the reason. Yeah, I mean, if I was in crises, I would go more, but $450 a month for therapy? Yeah, if I went every week, every month. Wow.

Yeah, that’s crazy. So we’re gonna transition to our faith bucket here. And, you know, we talked about faith on on this podcast, or you guys do because it’s important part of your life and some part of my life. And, you know, and we understand some people, right, Christian faith is not their thing. But maybe they’re spiritual in other ways. And this is just one one way for us, for us just to check in with each other as well, because it’s an important part. And so Jason, have a question for you. All right. If you can magically change one thing about your relationship with Jesus, what would it be that he could physically talk to me somehow physically to like, like, not physically talk, but I could hear his voice back. Okay. Whatever that is, okay. And it doesn’t even need to be.

I don’t know. It doesn’t need to be actually even words. Just some sort of like, are you listening? Okay. Are you hearing me?

So you’ve never heard the voice of God. I have never heard that. Okay. See, and I have CBOE least I think I asked, thank you, at least I think okay, but it’s been, it’s been confirmed with other things and things that have happened, like,

yeah, so explain this one to me. And I don’t know if you want to or what, but like, when people say they were moved by God, or the Holy Spirit to do something, yeah. Like, what is that? Like? Do you just have a warm, fuzzy cuz I get those all the time.

So it’s not necessarily warm, fuzzy. And this is. I can’t even teach people how to hear the voice of God. I’m not saying you know, because it’s just so natural, right? So natural for me. And again, it’s just practice of like, okay, yes. When I when I hear that voice, then I know I sound schizophrenic. Right. I want to point that out. I realized is i’m saying i sound schizophrenic. I didn’t think you did. But but there’s a voice I’m like, is I hear this voice? Well, that’s why people don’t believe in Christianity. I’m just saying I know. But but so for examples, I’ve had that voice to say, to go pray for somebody for healing for a certain part of their body that no idea that they need healing for him like, hey, yeah, this is awkward. This is weird. But I’ve heard from God, I should pray for your elbow. And they’re like, for real? Like, I’ve been struggling with that in my prayer, like, so that’s weird. So I’ve started to like that. And just things like that have happened. I’m like, okay, that seems to be the voice of God. because how else would I either that’s like a demon. How else would I know somebody else had an elbow problem or like, a back problem? Like it’s not because I’m like, looking at him. I don’t know if your back problem. Yeah. Or you struggle with headaches? It’s stuff like that. And like, Oh, that’s the voice of God. Yeah. And then just hear but yeah, no, I get that. If you haven’t heard that, right. Like, a real you exist? Yeah. I just have conversations sometimes. And I’m just like, hello. Yeah. And there’s people who write just get nudges. And like, Yeah, what is that nudge? It could be the Holy Spirit could just be natural.

I feel like I could see it nudges when you’re like having a discussion about two different things. Like you’re gonna go this path or this path, and then all of a sudden, you wake up the next morning, and you just go to the other path? Yeah. Like, is that just God saying, this is your path? Or did you just decide overnight that?

I don’t know? I don’t know. depends on your expert. Yeah, I’m the expert of this mystical thing right. Now for me, like because because I tend to know what the voice of God is my wife to like, she just, she’s crazy stuff with that to where, you know, we’ll pray about a thing through it and will tend to know, okay, this is where God wants to lead. Now also, I don’t get the other way have been better, I won’t know. Because that way in life, but I think, you know, through adoption through other things, we’ve had to, like, try to follow that. And, you know, she had times where she had a dream that like Russia was gonna close and we didn’t send money. We’re supposed to send like, you know, four or five grand for something. We’re like, oh, let’s hold off on that. And then they close that money would have been lost. I was like, wow, I know. So it’s things like that. It’s only experienced, so I get that right. If you’re saying like, you haven’t, that’s hard, right? Because you’re like God, I’m,

I’m trying to listen to you. I’m trying to live a good life and trying to well, and it’s one of those things to where you almost want to see like we talked about like all the miracles happen. Yeah, Jesus was here. Like, we don’t see that more we do, but we don’t like, I want that to happen to me. Yeah. And I want to be confirmed like, I am skeptical with my faith. Yeah, you know what I mean? So I want that confirmation now. It’s so hard when you’re like a science guy and you need that john Crete stuff. Like, if he would give me one. I probably be sold for light. Yeah.

So you know what’s weird is I’ve prayed for people for healing, and they’ve been healed. But people pray for healing for multiple things haven’t been healed. Yeah. Why? Why soon? It pisses me off sometimes. Yeah, cuz I’m like, dude, like, I’m doing the work here, bro. Yeah, that gets a hole there like this, this transactional God because I’m good. And I do work. I do this. You owe me which, right? I’m human. I do that. But it’s just interesting. Like I’ve struggled with chronic hives. And I’ve had like flare ups with 1000s of hives all over my body from my palms everywhere. I’ve had people pray for me and all that nothing. No pray for people for healing of a knee and like, they don’t need knee surgery. I’m like, God couldn’t have given me some of that. But you

said you’re praying for you people are praying for your hives or whatever. But what else did you do to try to solve the problem? Tons of medicine, like you went to the doc and like, hey, let’s

just shoot them. Yeah, let’s troubleshoot this. And in doctors, I went to specialists and all that. And they’re like, well, we don’t know. Like, yeah, I dealt with chronic pain it to the point where they’re like, you just mentally have to overcome some of this doesn’t just piss you off about modern medicine, because it feels like we’re so advanced. And then you go, and they’re like, whoo, we don’t know. Well, I

did MRIs. I did all these ads. And they’re like, we don’t see anything structurally wrong in there. I’m like, well, it’s still effin hurts.

Well, then sometimes it may think you’re making it up.

I know. Well, they Well, I went to the pain program at Mary free bed. They run you through a psychologist. Okay. That’s part of it. Okay, so they stay try to sniff that out. Yeah. Because then they’re no good. They’re gonna be like, we need to go a different direction. But

what is that? chronic pain? Fibromyalgia? Yeah. So apparently, I’ve heard from doctors that that is their lump all where they think people are making it up. Oh, really. Some while some doctors are like, they call it that because they think the person’s making it up. And I was like, Oh, I did not know that. So I’m not saying everyone who has Fibromyalgia some doctors probably just like, we don’t know,

well, yeah, they have the they have the pain, but they can’t figure out where it from it. Even if even if they’re I wouldn’t say they’re making it up. But even if they’re having the pain and you run all these tests, you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Yeah, but there’s some doctors who with fibromyalgia, do that just because they think the person’s making up and they’ll just call them yeah, I was like, that’s a little tricky. Yeah. But you know, whatever. You know, I understand as a doctor, you’ve run all the tests, right? So anyways, we got way off there. I’m sorry. That’s That’s the best part of podcast I know. That’s that’s like sitting around the fire like last night when I sent it on the fire. My neighbor’s Scott we go way off on tangents. Yeah, but he’s he’s a fellow pastor. So we got really dorcy dorcy, deep dorky CRC deep. It was it was which Christian Reformed Church for those who don’t know for sure. Like, it’s, I would have probably sworn at both of you and said, let’s talk about something else. We Yeah, so for me magically changed about my relationship. And this is gonna sound I wish that I could just wake up at six every morning and just read my Bible. You can though. I do it well, for a while, and then I suck at it. Well, that’s, I know everything but like, magically like, cuz because I know that when I do that, like, my day goes better. Like I’m thinking about God, I’m caring about people more. Yeah, but I don’t do it. Like I wake up at seven 730 like, okay, on roll over and go to work, you know, and though I’ll read a little bit later, you know, it’s it’s one of those things. I’m just like, oh, man, I can magically change. I would just be able to do that every morning. Because I’m not a morning person. Like talking about going to the gym at 545 I’ll be up at 430 tomorrow. I didn’t know that that time existed in the world.

Yeah, I’ll be up at 430 I need time to get up and drink my coffee. I could probably sleep till five away with it. But I get all 30 drink my coffee. It’s

great. I wouldn’t murder people if I woke up at 430 every day. I love it.

I thought I would be it’s it’s it’s getting used to it but I actually love it. I love get my workout done in the morning. I will not do it in the afternoon. I will not do it. I did that one time when I first started the gym and I hated my life. I was well I mean it was just starting at the gym to okay not only I just started back to Wheaton fee Oh my body wasn’t used to that and then I went to the gym I was like No

Never again especially with a physical job I could see that being a pain yes cuz you’re like you’re tired by the time you get home yeah, and then to go like kick butt at the gym.

Yeah, I go load 50 bags, then I unload them while I spread them and then I reload again at the end of the night and then go work out the gym Yeah,

see for me it’s good because of the ways I mean I don’t physically move my body as much in you know I deal with people can be frustrating and I can work out my frustrations. Yeah, and working out. I’m just ticked off and then all sudden I lift more than before and I love setting the bar and then you guys go in there and destroy Have I haven’t done that in a while I’ve not caught you while today did with my walk I caught your straight, which is bullshit because I was lifting some heavy weights this morning like, but again that’s different though than right? It’s not cardiovascular

cardio. I gotta, I gotta get that out of my brain because it’s gonna make me not want to go on Thursdays but that’s where you’re gonna make the most gains. Is that slow? I mean, today was 35 seconds to work. Yeah. 25 seconds around, which is it’s too much RAM cuz you’re used to the cardio words. Yeah. So quick. And I’m like, Okay, I’m bored. Let’s go to the

next exercise. But that’s what’s gonna make you better at the tough mudder. Exactly. Because you have to lift yourself up. You’re not just running. But yeah, no, it is. I’ve, I’ve noticed myself and I said to myself, I have to have a day where I lift and it’s gonna be a crappy score. Yeah, you just gonna have to deal with it. But it’s but it’s the peer pressure. The same day. So we know it’s low. We know it’s right. Because otherwise it’s like, Man crap. Jason got a 13.3. And then I lift weights to get like a six and you’re like, or, or you left and you bust your button. Mike goes on a walk. Or Ben today did the elliptical and got like a 14. Yeah, he’s still adjusting. So that will come down. But still, it’s one of those. So I’m like, No, I have to one day I’m lifting. One day is like hit you know, like that. And then one day stairs and then walks in between. But it’s a pride thing.

Yeah, I can’t let Jason beat me. I love the group of people that we’re talking about those numbers. It’s a it’s an exercise band that literally does nothing but track your heartbeat. Yeah. And the data is insane. Yeah. No watch on it couldn’t tell you tell you what time it is. It’s not an apple. It’s nothing like that. Yeah, really cool.

So you know how? I’m a gadget person, apparently. I like to know what my heart rate is during the workout. I don’t I don’t. So I’m almost tempted to buy a cheap smartwatch, that I have my wrist and I can have my heartbeat. So I can see. But I don’t want to wear too bad. It’s got to wear too. I know. But Ben Ben, it just seems to fit bad. But I’m like, I don’t know. It’d be just for working out. Like I would of course, put it away the rest of the time. Because, yeah,

I’m frustrated about getting this stupid bicep ban is tomorrow, but because I’m gonna have to wear it all week, like even when I go to bed because I’m not gonna switch bands every time when I get out from work. I’ll do it on the weekend.

But but it’s been quite a bit better though. So maybe I should just do better lawns.

No, I already spent $30 on that app and $30 for that band. I’m like the last Yeah, I’m like what a ripoff. except we’re buying it and we’re doing it. Yeah, exactly. So soccer’s but anyways. So what do you do you want to do this last question or not?

Yeah. So what is what is one thing that’s going well in faith and what’s nothing’s fine. Nothing. Nothing. I mean, we’re not going to church. We started back watching live streams again. And then we stopped and yeah, because it’s so hard. I live I think live stream was fun for like two weeks for me because I was able to, you know, show up just roll out of bed. Yeah, but man, it’s just it’s like watching TV.

Yeah, it’s hard to stay focused. Yeah. I’m glad it’s available for people that are especially elderly that are worried about for sure. What COVID-19 but but yeah, I think I’m just kind of still at a standstill.

I don’t know. Are you guys you guys have a plan for going back in person? Are

you guys just trying to keep Megan is so and this is not disrespectful to her. But she’s so like mad about people not wearing masks in church. Oh, and we’re pretty strict on it and go back like yeah, we I kind of want to go back. But she we really haven’t

had a deep conversation about it. But it makes sense. Right? As a nurse, right. She knows the importance of masking. Yeah, I mean, we’re both vaccinated. Yeah. Holy. So but oh, we’re one step forward. We can take mask off outside. Isn’t that what the CDC says? Yes. But which haven’t we done? Yeah, I was wearing my mask outside. Anyways, when I was walking past people, I was like, oh, we’re gonna pass real quick. No, I

only like at the track me yourself to where it you’re supposed to the whole time. But I wore it when I walked to and from and I got to my bleacher seat. I took it off. You’re outside unless somebody like making that with you. Right.

There’s just going up. Yeah, exactly. Ah, but so so nothing. Yeah. What about you? What’s been going well, I’m just not reading your Bible. And I’m not saying that reading but not like that dedicated. Every morning starting my day. I’ve actually been memorizing the the Sermon on the Mount. Okay. For a Colorado trip. Are you gonna say it on the owl somewhere? Well, we actually are gonna be in the mountains. Like I feel a little bit like I’m trying to be Jesus. Yeah, a little bit. Right. I can see a look in your eyes. Try to be Jesus. No, but I just want my students to hear from the words of Jesus. So been doing that, and that’s been really awesome. Like, it’s a lot of work. We’ve spent a ton of hours going through like, I know a lot of that fairly well. So how long is it all together? It’s about 24 minutes. I know and I’m through. I’m about halfway through so 12 minutes. Yeah, so it’s a lot to memorize, but it’s cool. Like even mentally, like I can remember things better. Cuz Yeah, it’s kind of like working out with your body. Right as soon as you started doing it. Yeah, right. You have more you have more more energy to do stuff and yeah, from there so

well, good. Any takeaways from the show today? I always hate this portion. Oh,

it’s like right on the spot. Yeah, it’s what do you mean right on the spot? Like, cuz I can’t think through like you don’t get a chance to think through. Yeah, exactly. That’s the thing was you should tell Ben to take this off. I will. And I’m a processor. So I’m not like, oh, right off. Maybe you should start and I will process No,

no, that’s why I always have been there so I can process it. Um, I mean, I think in general, my takeaway is, I really like you. Yeah. And I think even though we’re a lot of like, with certain things like competition and control, yes. I don’t like using that word control. Is there a word that we can doesn’t just it’s like a dirty word.

But it’s true, though. Can we be true? What that we want to control? We it is that’s the truth. But

it sounds like we’re like it’s a bad thing. Like, no, we’re leaders. Yeah. We’re doers.

Yeah. Make getting shut down getting shit done. And sometimes, okay, so I have to say this. Ben said he was actually happy. He got the whoop. Really? Yeah. Okay. I was like, you converted. So even if Jason I were a little harsh. We converted you to something that you love. We were a pretty harsh. He came at me and privately hard. Like you need to stop. I was like, I put my hands. Oh, yeah. I’m so sorry. But that’s just my personality. Like, in general, I will push you because because, again, right. It’s all out of love of like, I love this. And I think it would help you. Yeah, we just wanted that we wanted the community. Yeah, that’s all we wanted. We wanted more people in our community in because again, right. He was trying, you know, he’s working out too. It’s like, hey, come join us because it’s pushing me forward. Yeah. And it has because now he’s been kicking our butts. Yes. And like, Yeah, but anyways,

Well, guys, thank you so much for listening to threads podcast. I hope you enjoyed Mike, you get them? The end of the month. Why don’t you tell before we do that? Why don’t you tell us about your podcast a little bit? We got to give you the little

Oh, you don’t need to do that. But, um, so it’s the skeptical pastor podcast. Again, I am a pastor. I’ve been associate pastor, I’m now a youth pastor. And I have skipped skepticisms I’ve skeptical thoughts. I’ve crap. I feel like, I have doubts and questions about the Christian faith. How about we go there? Yeah, get it get away from the word skeptical? Yes. And you know, I love just naming that because, you know, I’ve hung out with Jason, and he has doubts and questions and other people. And I wanted to be like, Hey, I as a pastor have those and let’s, let’s name them, and let’s be honest, and sometimes we resolve stuff, and sometimes we don’t. So it’s just a space to do that. coming up soon, we’re gonna be talking about race and Christianity and the doubts that’s caused with how the churches maybe failed with that. pretty badly. Probably. So yeah. Excited. I’d love for you guys to check that out if that interests you at all. Right, great.

And I don’t know what thread tests coming up next. I have no idea. I’m not even going to look. So there you go. All right. Have a good night, guys.

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