Today on threads podcast, Jason has a bladder problem. Mike screentime is uptown the same. Jason’s daughter Avery went to the ER. It’s okay. She’s fine. And Mike burns Jason so bad that there’s six seconds of silence. Let’s go.
Well, hello, thread heads and deadheads, we are glad that you’re joining us. We are a show where we seek to get rid of Facebook fake. Instagram Ickes in Twitter takes and we do that through a space have totally different or unfiltered dialogue about faith, mental health and uncomfortable conversations. Welcome, Jason, to your basement.
Thank you. I appreciate the Instagram hickeys that Twitter takes in the Facebook fake. We got to come up with one for tic tac.
Oh, yeah. My tic tac, but we’re gonna talk about it more. Well, well,
I was editing the last episode because I just did it yesterday. It’s so weird to edit on Sunday, and then we’re right back in it on Monday. Boom. Tic Tac titties. You’re like, Oh, all right, let’s. Let’s wrap
it. Well, we all know what Jason looks at on tic tac? Yeah, you
don’t want to see my algorithm sometimes. Like what episode is this?
Is episode 192. We are eight away from the 200 then we have no good idea for 100 is
we need to do a poll in Patreon for our for patrons to see what they think.
I think what would be better is just to do a normal show and act like it’s not even 200
How about we do this? We don’t even posted this 200 We posted this to a one. So it goes 199 And then just 201?
Yes, let’s do that. That’d be the most Mike vandrie thing ever. Yeah, is just to act like 200 Didn’t happen. Right? No big deal about it.
Like the number 13. You know, they don’t? Yeah, put that in hotels. Right. Like, there’s no 413 Yeah,
it’s so weird. Because it doesn’t exist if you don’t number it, right.
But it’s like they know people will not want to stay on that floor if they have it,
which is fine. It’s just a number. It is just a number. I stand for number seven or three since their holy numbers. No, you don’t know. But when they’re cool if I did,
that would be cool. It’d be a nerd. So how was the weekend?
Um, it was a busy weekend started off with some training. Not quite as early as you on Saturday. I was surprised you were up an hour. You were out an hour before me. Yeah, but I was out at 7am which is plenty early for me means I woke up at six. That’s incredible for you. I know. So woke up at six got out there by seven. Because it takes a little while for everything to move. And it went well. My aerobic state good. My legs at the end mo are feeling it. Yeah. I was a little extra tired after that one versus the eight miles the week before?
Yeah, I feel like when I looked at your pace, it was in the twelves
No, it wasn’t fourteens Oh. Which is which is a minute faster than what I had been running. Like
yeah, I saw something that you had some 12 somewhere but yeah, I was in the same boat. My legs My cardio was just spot on. Like I wasn’t tired. I could have like you and I could have had you know a 90 minute conversation I would have been fine but my legs were just Yeah,
juicy. I wonder if it’s because of the plan like me because you’re still doing other workouts throughout the week. Weights and all that I wonder if that’s what’s it’s just all catching up. But I don’t know.
You know, one thing I have noticed on this I’m not dreading the long runs. Yeah, I’m just like, I don’t know. I I’m still floating the the dune race or the the Mount Baldy? I don’t know. I’m just feeling like I just went out just peeled off eight miles and just you know, it’s only 11 minute mile pace. But I mean, you know, we’re talking trails up hills and dunes and shit. Yeah, I don’t know. I’m just I’m float. I’m still floating on that high. It just felt so good that maybe I’m not dreading it.
Yeah, and for me my first three miles were good. And then the next three I figured like the last like one or two miles. I was like, okay, my legs can be done. But other than that, like, you know, you have those long runs where they seem to go by quick. Yeah, that was it. Pause feels like it’s going good. It’s just smooth wasn’t? Yeah,
I had to take a piss I pissed right on the trail course you did. Well, dude. Like normally you can’t do that during the day. I mean, it’s busy enough and I was on the M six trail. And so there’s cars going. So I looked one way no cars could see me. I saw no headlights. It looked the other way. And I’m just like, I gotta go. I just like so bad and usually I never pee on runs.
So a personal question. Have you ever peed your pants while running?
No, I can’t do that we talked about Yeah, because I need to focus.
Oh, yeah. Because Because you’re over 40 Usually guys over 40 need to focus on pain.
No, that’s so when you go into a stall. Do you just go right stand up and go
boom. It is like sometimes I’m like can barely get my underwear down in time. Really? Yeah, I have no problem being
I gotta take my phone. I gotta like look at Facebook. No way every
time. You’re the guy who’s at the urinal on his phone every time gross and weird why? Hello just feels extra gross to be sitting at the toilet. Well, I guess I sit and I don’t know why that’s different. No
I don’t sit I go up to that share right out
but I’m saying for me like I’ll sit and go poop and be on my phone but I know it’s more gross to me that up. While Is it gross that you are on your phone while peeing? Is it gross because of like the body fluids? I don’t know. It really shouldn’t be but my mind it is. I don’t know why
the poop is way worse because that’s shits floating up in the air and everything.
It’s sealed and I have a big enough but it’s seals that do you flush the toilet with the lid up or down? When while I first flush it while I’m sitting on it. You do a courtesy flush? Yeah, usually Wow. But the icing for you. I know. I’m not courteous and most things. No, I don’t have a story about that. But I actually normally shut the lid because I don’t want to fly around.
Yeah, technically you’re supposed to but I never do. Okay. And
the question is, I can’t remember in your bathroom or your or your toothbrushes sitting out on the counter. Yeah. I mean, they’re not next to the toilet still doesn’t matter. They’re the furthest away in the bathroom. You’re you’re brushing your teeth. You know why thrush? I’ve lived
this long and haven’t died yet. So I think I’m just gonna continue doing what I’m doing. There you go.
So then went from the long run, quickly came home, ate and then went out to camps cross country meet in Sparta.
That’s a hike for it was over an hour.
Just under an hour, 50 minutes each way. So did that. Came home? I think we took a chill night and then I preached on Sunday morning and my parents church.
Okay, how’d that go? Went? Well. Thanks for the invite.
Yes, you wouldn’t want to be there. No, it’s not a bad church, Mom and Dad, if you’re listening. It’s just small. And you would have felt like you stuck out like a sore thumb because it’s small enough where they’re doing. There’s somebody
new. Well, I would have just gotten to hear you. I wouldn’t care about the church.
He has a beard. He’s new. He’s got tattoos and they’re all they would all flock to you and been like, Hey, welcome young man. He he’s wearing
he’s wearing khaki shorts and a T shirt.
I almost wore jeans preaching but but they’re lighter jeans. I was like I should wear like khaki style.
Oh, I cannot imagine seeing you like I don’t ever know I’ve obviously seen you in jeans. I’m an idiot like during the winter but like I just can’t imagine you a khaki slacks.
No, it will sorry. It wasn’t khaki khaki material, but it was great. Gray.
Okay, that’s what mine are too. They’re not even khaki that I feel like they’re there. They’re not cargo look kinda cargo. Oh, no,
you’ve cargoes? What what does it matter? You’re a boomer. No, I’m not. I think I think we need we need a button. That’s a boomer alert. No, I’m not a boomer. Those are actually those are probably more and more Gen X shorts. But you are so yeah, and then. Boomer alert. Oops, sorry. I didn’t mean to That’s awesome. So yeah, and yeah, hit today. So that was my weekend about yours.
Kind of saying we kind of talked a little about the running so it’s nine miles. That was good. Sunday, Saturday had the gig economy picnic, which is a complete fail. Oh, was it? Yeah. So
tell me about this fail.
Usually we get a couple randos like people we don’t know. And we got nobody. Like no but no random. Okay. We had John. Doesn’t matter their names. We had a guy come from South Carolina, North Carolina. Greensboro is green in north or south I think think North but I couldn’t do it. Anyways, love. He came up. Larry came up and his wife, okay. And then another guy named? Doesn’t matter. He’s from Detroit. Everyone that came was from not Grand Rapids. Nobody came. No, no one guy did come from Grand Rapids. But that was it. That’s me. And yes. First Sally and yesterday’s daughter. That’s that’s a little awkward. It wasn’t awkward, because we’re really close with everyone. Okay. There’s there was no awkwardness at all. But we spent some bucks on food. And I mean, we took it home. Obviously, we split it. Yeah, it’s a bummer. I don’t know what we’re going to do moving forward. I often feel like I need because I shared it in the local groups like crazy. I had like 15 people like it. I posted it Saturday morning, not one of those showed up. And maybe they feel uncomfortable because they’re like, We don’t listen to the show. Yeah, like it’s like, it’s not about the show. It’s about
gig workers showing up and being together.
Yes. And so I think this winter, I’m going to try to put together a monthly lunch when I’m laid off and just kind of build that momentum. Yeah. And come next year at this time. People will feel more comfortable coming. I don’t know. Yeah,
maybe. But I’m surprised like, I don’t think I would travel 13 hours to go to a picnic of a podcast I listened to.
So John is a really good friend. He he’s single, so he doesn’t have a lot of not baggage. Like my wife is our baggage, but
some things are baggage. Yeah, no, just
he doesn’t you know, he works and he’s got a kitty cat and you know what I mean? He’s cool, dude. Yeah. And he’s been up here before and actually recorded an episode of his podcast here and that was fun. He got me into gambling a little bit so Ooh, you should listen to the episode it’s pretty funny. Is this podcast is I can come well I can complain. Oh, that’s this podcast.
I thought somebody was on the toilet or something to do with the toilet just like that. You know are my mind is
Yes. As I listened to the I can complain podcast and I belong in the trash. Wow. It’s like a not safe for work. Rob, it’s comedy. He does bits. Okay, pretty good. Okay, sometimes they’re stinkers. But sometimes
they’re sometimes you know, I think as most comedy Yeah, throw it out even our show. Our show to watch our show is not trying to be comedy but there’s times that it’s hysterical because I’m on that’s
true when you have wormhole if you if you are Patreon you get to hear wormhole just saying
yes. Oh, that should be like the incentive you get to hear pre show where the wormhole
is so fucking funny. All right, I did not need to drop that F bomb. Okay. All right. Where am I? Okay, so we did the picnic had a so tired member I talked about I was tired. Yeah, take a nap. I didn’t take like I chose the dog bark. I even went in the room turn the fan on. Like I could not fall asleep. Oh, those are the worst had friends. Those friends came over that night and had a fire we had a fire and hung out.
Thanks for inviting me.
You wouldn’t be not have been interested. You don’t know. That’s true. Thanks for inviting me when you wouldn’t have come anyways. Thanks for inviting me. You’re welcome. So and Sunday, I put our I edited both shows. And what else did I do? I don’t know. It was an all day workday. Like I started at 10. Oh, I recorded the show with John. Okay, so I was I was in this chair from like 10am to about 7pm. You were that guy? Yeah,
I mowed the lawn in that time. But yeah, I noticed that it looked a little different than normal. What look different about it. It looks like there were grass clippings and you normally don’t do it
because it’s a little dry because my sprinklers are been off because they busted the lines and they just fix it them today.
So it just looked a little different than normal. Yeah,
I was like, it’s a little crispy.
Maybe it was I the part. I noticed there was grass on top. I normally don’t notice grass on top. Anyways, anyways, totally off top.
Yeah. So and then. Yeah. Megan worked all week. 56 hours, dude.
That’s crazy. Yeah, nursing. It’s not. So it’s not like it’s just a mental job or physical job. It’s both.
Yeah. Well, she picked a lot of that up like it’s gonna be a giant check.
I do you know, pig work this winter. It’s going to the saving gig free. No. And then lastly, Eva into the ER last night.
So I learned about this. And Megan spoiled a little bit of that. But yeah, tell me about this. What happened? You
know, she had homecoming on Saturday. That was great. And then we had panda last night and I usually get the honey walnut shrimp. It’s so good. And Avery’s never had shrimp and I was like, You should try it. So she tried it and her throat started swelling up. And she has she’s never had shellfish before. And she Meghan has a shellfish allergy. Yeah. And so we gave her Benadryl and then all of a sudden, Franklin, Nadi bags like,
you gotta keep this.
And so she obviously has a shelf fish allergy, and then she had like a terrible stomach pains, not mine. I don’t know if it was coincidental, but like, bad, I mean, laying on the ground, moaning and I was like, eventually. I went to bed early last night went to bed at like, 930
the second Sunday in a row. You’ve gotten to bed, like in the early nine o’clock. Yeah, I’m
trying to get to start my week. You know? And Meghan, like, 10 o’clock. Hey, I’m gonna take her and I was like, Okay. Course then I didn’t sleep well. And
wait, so So Megan took her in and you stayed home? Yeah, watch it make sense. I guess you still have a kid here.
Yeah. Okay. And I wouldn’t go anyways. I mean, what it? Yes. No, I mean, if it was just me and her I probably would have gone but I mean, yeah. Or I would have taken her and Meghan was stayed home. But yeah, I mean, nothing really came of it. They did labs, it was fine. We, I guess Megan opted not to do imagery and they gave her some Maalox and Tylenol and said let us know if it gets worse. And it went away but she was in some pain but I don’t know if it’s correlated to the shrimp or and I mean, yeah, very sure. range Do you wonder
if just the stress of like your throat closing up had something to do with it?
I think so she
was panicky which is understandable. Yeah, throats closing up. Yeah, so
we quit gave her Benadryl and yeah, even with me, I’m actually I have a stone fruit allergy. So like anything that has a seat or like a peach or an outlet, like I’ll still eat them. But it will like make my lips numb and stuff and sometimes it’ll make my throat a little and it does get a little like it’s never been so bad that it’s closed up so I still eat them but
but you know, at one point it will look at
a 46 still kick in still flushing my poop with the lid up. So I’m good. You haven’t made
it to 50 yet. So does that mean like you guys need an an EpiPen around your house.
Now we actually do have one. Okay, because the allergist, she gets allergy shots. They require her to have one oh yeah, she has a reaction. I was like, the Benadryl doesn’t work babe. I will jam that epi pen right into your thigh but didn’t have to do that those
epi pens are so freakin expensive too.
I think we paid like $10 for it.
How did us have the world’s great most insurances? Still? It’s three 400 bucks per epi pen. Yeah. For like the true yeah, they’re crazy.
I don’t know. It’s like, it’s like an a little cartridge. And yeah, no, it was like 10 bucks.
Hmm. I want almost had to do that to myself. When I was dealing with chronic hives, and it’s freaky, like, am I gonna really do this? And I didn’t need to, but you’re like, Am I willing to jam myself in the thigh?
I know it gonna hurt but if you’re gonna die, you’re better than dying. Yeah, and
like and you’re kind of like winging it. But then also, you know, once you do it, then you have to go to the hospital, or you’re supposed to go Oh, yeah, after doing that, yeah. So you’re like, Okay, I’m really gonna cause a lot of problems for myself if I jam myself in the leg. Yeah, so you you still have one right now? Um, no, I don’t have any more. Or actually, I had gotten one that was expired through sources through my EpiPen because really I went there and like, do you know what’s gonna be 300 bucks I was like, he and the place
that we get it through the allergist says this is the bat like they have some grant or something like it’s, it’s it’s a weird way to do it. It’s not it’s like an online thing. It’s not even through like Walgreens or anything.
That’s why Yeah, and normal Walgreens. Well, I had it with my medicine through Mark Cuban’s, where it was 20 bucks versus 400. It was cheaper than when I had insurance. Yeah, to get it through Mark Cuban’s dropped Yeah, cuz he’s not trying to rip people off. He’s only making 15% which means Walgreens is making a shit ton of money.
While the Yeah. Oh, so that was without insurance.
Yeah, so it’s 400 Without insurance, and then with insurance that brought it down to like 30 or 40 bucks cheaper without anything through Mark Cuban’s. Wow, damn, I know what a freakin scam so we’re gonna look up screen time, right? Yeah, I’m looking at screen time right now.
So your check in is my year. Mental health check in aka your screen time because we had an epiphany.
Natalie heard it today. I didn’t tell her before. She listened to it today. And we’re at Kim’s cross country. She’s like, you spent over a day and tic tac. It’s like, yep,
what did she say about my screams? I was editing those videos last night. I had a hell of a time by the i That’s a long story. But I haven’t listened back yet. So I don’t even know. No, but I wonder what Natalie said about my like when I was like, Michael,
she didn’t say anything about that. She was just like, you spent a day on tic tac. I was like, Apparently so. But then I was like, Hey, how much screen time do you spend? Apparently she had theirs turned off. So it wasn’t even tracking. I was like, Oh, come on.
You’re ready for that aha moment.
Be like, okay, yours. Yours is still pie. But no, then she had now she’ll know. So last, so the week before I’d spent 28 hours on tic tac. This past week, I spent 11 hours. That’s a poll appears. You have your phone, so sorry. And my overall screen time went down from nine hours a day to five hours a day. That’s huge. So four hours plus way less tictac. That’s less than two hours a day versus four hours a day. I have more than half my tic tac time.
Okay, so. So I have to look at last week. Yep. Last week, I averaged three hours and 22 minutes, okay. I did three hours on telegram and two hours, while three hours on tick tock
total total. And then
four and then two and a half hours on Facebook.
Okay. And your total was how much?
Three hours and 22 minutes a day? A day? Yeah. How does that and then three hours on telegram? Okay, sorry. Telegram, tic tac, Facebook. Those are my top three. And then I have some smaller ones like Instagram and Gmail and YouTube.
How about Strava now does it show up even when you do the show more?
No, I’m still three minutes
my one I don’t like his maps google maps I was using it as a map that’s not screen time.
Well it does it does break it down to like productivity entertainment and social if you go all the way to the top
Yeah, but I just hate that accountants maps come on. Wow. It’s not really screen time. It’s not like I’m staring at it. And anyways, so I want you to cut that in half. Yeah, not half but anyways, we dropped it down for hours. 34% So you know, hey, in tic tac was down even more. Boom. So didn’t make a big difference in my mental health. I don’t know.
I wouldn’t say boom, you don’t get that is not a boom, it’s still high. But that’s so good change. Yeah. Oh, it’s
a huge change. That’s like somebody who’s 400 pounds is going down to 300 That person can say boom, so I can say that’s fair. I’ll give it back to you. Yes, I get to say boom. So anyways, I will say how much more time I don’t know that it affected my mental health in one week. And not that it should I don’t think it would in fact, this week I think I’m more down than the week before so again, I don’t know about Well,
I think I think the theory or the problem is is like you were fighting not picking up your phone, which is exhausting.
I don’t know that it was I just found other things to do
where you had to make a decision to not pick up your phone and to do something else
or maybe I didn’t get get the dopamine hits and I’m depressed because I didn’t get dopamine.
I mean, it could be I mean tic tac i It is a totally different platform. I know everyone says it’s social media, but it’s different. I have more positive things on Tik Tok that in debt really give me that dopamine Yeah, Facebook doesn’t Twitter doesn’t Instagram net doesn’t only tick tock
you my favorite tic TOCs are dogs. I love dogs dog Tic Tac Toe I send them a Natalie all the time. So you too so so the the amount of time I spend on the bathroom at night then everyone including Megan mock me for even Megan Mack when she knows that when Megan Maxi you know you’re in trouble. You’re in a bad spot. But but that’s when I’ve come across all these dog ones and Natalie’s you know in bed. I’m just sending her tic TOCs of dogs doing the cutest coolest thing. You know,
Megan, my wife, Megan, I don’t know why I had to preface that. I mean, we do a we haven’t even talked to our Patreon yet. We’re 26 minutes in well, I’m saving them for later. At the same time. No, it’s totally good. I’m just using. I shouldn’t do timestamps because everyone hates that. Everyone was oh, Megan gets so mad when she’s like, Oh my gosh, this tick tock is so funny. And I’m like, Yeah, wasn’t that funny? She gets so bad. She should know if it’s not funny to me. Am I supposed to fake that? It’s Yes. She fakes for you? Are you Peru? And I walked right into that. Did Did you see it common? Or not? Yeah. No. I did. I was like, Oh, man. You gotta be good, man. Holy cow. That was incredible. If I had my sound effects. This is gonna fog up right from laughing so hard. Anyways, no, I hate that. It’s annoying. Because if it’s not funny to me, everyone has different opinion a funny like, I might like a comedian that she absolutely cannot stand. Yeah.
So I just have a rule. Like sometimes you send a lot of nice and a lot to you. Yeah. If the first two aren’t good, and you sent three or four, I won’t watch three or four.
I’ll watch them all, but I only respond to the ones that I’m like, Oh, dude, this is awesome. If I don’t respond, you can know that I probably didn’t really care about it. Yeah, or it’s not in you’re not offended. I’m not offended either. If you don’t like what I said, like, whatever, like everyone has their different thing. But
yeah, I have it where again, if somebody again sends three or four in the first serve, and I’m like, I don’t trust you anymore.
In this moment, where wherever the algorithm is right now is dog crap. So we’re we’re not watching anything.
It is in a terrible spot. So we’re not gonna do that. Nope,
done. Irvine’s auto repair Grand Rapids hybrid and EV is the sponsor of this beautiful podcast that we talked about poop and tick tock and Twitter takes and Facebook fakes and all that stuff. You can call them to schedule your amazing service. It’s maintenance time it’s fall let’s get that oil changed on fire three to 6600 or Irvine’s dot com. They just had the car show I heard it was really successful. And then they went out some of the people that listen to Zane show because Dana was actually the kind of the emcee for that so um, I kind of wish I could have gone that sucks. I was so busy on Saturday. But um, so everything went well. I apparently one car there won all the awards for like the best color the best. Yeah, I’ll show you the picture. I did see it’s pretty cool.
Do you think maybe I should bring my van next year?
I think it could win something. Yeah, yeah. About a bill for about four grand probably. Again, they A service everything but Tesla’s and Volkswagens because no one can work on Tesla But Tesla. So crazy. I know it is crazy. And yeah, you should schedule a service free loaner car 532 6600 or Irvine stock calm and then of course we can’t thank the patrons enough. Joe PK que Lisa que and Megan D for supporting the show and making us feel good
and making this show possible so that you guys can hear.
Yeah. And so speaking of like, people, this Chrissy de like, followed me on Strava Strava. And I’m like, Who is this guy? And then I kind of stalked him on Strava and was like, Oh, he’s from Wyoming. So he’s from here. And then I was like, Alright, whatever. I mean, I don’t care if someone follows me if you want to look at my terrible stats, like, go ahead, I don’t care. And then I was farting around on YouTube. And he subscribed to the YouTube channel at some point. So I was like, Oh, he’s
a listener of the show. And he hears his talk about an amazing workout. Yes.
So thank you, Chrissy. D. I appreciate that. And I
saw that he had filed you and then live in Wyoming. So I thought you knew him personally. Didn’t know. Anyway. So after give him a follow back, I think I took took a quick look. And he runs a lot more miles than us. If I remember correctly, he runs like 3040 miles a week, solely shitballs. If I remember correctly,
I don’t know. xanes training for this half marathon. He’s to like 80 miles a week. It’s like, what training plan? Are you following? Like he’s doing like 16 mile long runs? I’m like, for real? The race is 13.1 miles. I have never trained for a race where I’ve actually run further. They always short you one mile or two miles. Yeah. Whatever. The race. I don’t know. I don’t know what he’s running.
Because it’s strange. Because because even a full marathon they only get you up to 20. Yeah. And then the
20 is your longest run. Yeah. Which is crazy. By the way. It got to six miles short.
Yeah, but you’ve done so much training so many miles on. You just think you’re in the zone. You just like murder. Think you’re in the zone. Okay, so last last week, Chris? Christie D? Yeah. Chris. He did 25 miles. And the week before that. 36 miles.
Well, 25 isn’t? I mean, we’re probably I’m now why did nine and then I did four. And then I did another four? So yeah, I guess I’m not under 20.
Yeah, you’re under 20. Let me let me look at what Strava would say. Your last week was 17. Okay, so you’re getting there. But yeah, he’s an extra eight miles or an extra, you know, 20
I wonder if he’s training for something or just, I would probably run more if I wasn’t training. I’m sticking to this plan. I want to run more really. So
you think you would run more without a training plan? Now you’re probably right. I wouldn’t because like training for something you’re at least like, Hey, I’m gonna do it when this I just feel
like I need to put more miles in but I’m sticking to the plan. So yeah,
either. It’s gonna be a really good like, this is the time when I start to doubt plans. Yeah, I’m like, Oh, should I should I just do base miles? What should I do? Because last time, all I did was based miles. Yeah. And that worked out. Okay. What should I do? And now I’m like, nope, gonna stick the plan. If it sucks. I could probably use one more day. In there’s different people. I think you handle the mileage better than I handle it. Yeah. Partly because of weight. Right? Or muscles. So the other day, you were talking about your daughter driving?
No, dude, can I digress? Yes. She literally has two more drives. And then she’s supposed to drive with us. Like it’s so minimum with the instructor. I mean, it’s like four hours. No, no, I’m sorry. Oh, well, she had she had some range time. That does include the range time where they’re like parking.
Who cares about that? I may be
six hours, but still, that’s it. And then we supposed to spend 50 hours with her 10 at night. I’m scared shitless.
So which parent is going to be the main parent driving mother?
I mean, she probably wants mom but she really wants me.
Which parent will handle it better?
You have to clarify that. Who will correct her when that needs to be corrected or who won’t yell at her who will keep
it calm, so that she doesn’t panic and hate driving.
I think Megan will more than me, but I’ve really done some brain work around not doing it
to be so hard. I am gonna be terrible.
So just so you know, when she’s in my car, there’ll be a dash cam. So Wow. And I am going to make her have a dash cam when she drives by herself. Okay,
like a driver facing one in and out. And the rule
is, I will not look at it unless I have a reason. Okay. Well, it rerecords every, like 10 hours or whatever. Yeah,
I thought about getting one for my car because you see those videos of like car crashes. And like sometimes you’re like the only way And you didn’t get the tickets? Because you’re the dashcam. Yeah, you can prove somebody carrying from
they’re relatively inexpensive. I think everyone should have one.
I think they’re under 100 bucks.
I mean, the ones I have are a little bit more because they have like three cameras they’re facing I don’t care about and all I want is out. Yeah, if you’re doing just an out one, definitely under 100 bucks.
So anyway, he’s talking about technology. And this is even more technology than I even realized you were gonna have and so wanted us to get real about talking about parenting teens in the age of technology, which is a lot of fun. I do have to say that no one ever has it is like, there’s so many decisions my parents didn’t have to make, that we now have to make his parents in. There’s no perfect answer. Which makes me even more mad. Yeah.
I’m curious what you do to monitor. Yeah, well,
we’ll get into first of all, I started with a little quiz here. So I have a quiz pull up. It’s not the most scientific quiz. So do you make it? No, I found an ad Kahoot.
Can I look at it now or no? Oh, the whole time? I
can’t Yeah, I just want to I just want to read it through like I don’t want you to because I was in you. How much time do eight to 18 year olds spend on technology daily, an average, but I’ll give you options. Four hours, seven hours, 5.5 or 48 hours a day a day. So there’s clearly a throw seven hours. Seven hours is correct. Seven hours a day, more than Mike vandrie does?
Well, what does that include? Though? They’re probably on their Chromebooks at school and stuff like that.
Lets us say it’s not good. And this is an unscientific viewpoint. Let’s now what is the recommended time screen usage for eight? Eight to 18 year olds? Two hours? 30 minutes, less than one hour or between two and three hours? Less than one hour? Nope. Two hours or less? Apparently. Okay. What percentage of teens have been bullied online? 37% 40% 56% or 83% 83% 37? Really? That’s what they say. That’s really low. What’s the most common cyber bullying platform? Is it WhatsApp, Facebook, Snapchat or Instagram?
they say Instagram? I think I would I would push back on that.
I don’t know much about Snapchat. So I kind of guessed that one. I don’t know. I don’t see any bullying going on. But I’m not in that. We should have we should have asked Avery. We should have brought her down.
But the cake you just cut it off something what percentage of eight to 10 year olds have internet access in a smart device? 50% 80% 40% 60% 46 80% 80% from
like, they have like a cell phone? Well, there’s
a smart device. Oh, I mean, Sally has an iPad. Yeah, but I mean, internet access, right? Yeah. Boys are cyber bullied more than girls. Is that true or false? False. That is false. That is correct. So that is the world that we get to parent in. And so just want to talk about teens and social media. What sort of boundaries Do you guys have for Avery on social media? You guys, you guys are a little farther ahead in that.
Yeah, I mean, she all she has tick tock and Instagram. She doesn’t do Facebook. She does. That’s not cool. Yeah. She won’t allow Snapchat she does that be real? Oh, never even heard of that. Apparently. It sounds cool. I know this is coming from a boomer over here. But apparently everyone gets a notification at the same time, okay, on the entire app platform. And then you have two minutes to take a picture of what you’re doing. And you can apply filters. It doesn’t allow you and it’s a front camera and a back camera. So when you snap the picture. It’s a picture of you and whatever you’re doing. Oh, wow. That’s it. Okay, that’s all it is. Never heard of it. Be real. Be real. Oh, be real. Yeah. Okay. And it sounds like tiktoks coming up with something like that course they are, instead of buying it from be real, they should pay for it. But, um, so so that she’s on Instagram and Tiktok. They each get 30 minute limits,
like for a whole day for a whole day, like for both apps for both that okay,
and then she gets like 30 minutes on YouTube. They all shut off. Boom, screen time is amazing. So and then they her phone during the week shuts off at 7pm She can’t text anybody okay? She can only text mom, dad or grandma
or which is good, right? If she’s somewhere she can text you.
This year is a little different. She asked if she could have her screentime on at school now that she’s in high school.
Are they allowed to do that there?
See initially said, Well, we’re allowed to between classes and at lunch. I said, Okay, show me where it says that in the handbook. She goes, okay. She couldn’t find she can’t find it. She’s like, it’s like an unwritten rule. And then she’s like, Dad, I don’t want to be the only kid at lunch without their phone and I said, Okay, I thought about I said you could have screen time on if it becomes a problem. First strike. Phone’s gone for a day, second strike. The phone’s off during the day. I’m turning everything back on
now. Now, are you loading screen time the whole day at school or just during her lunchtime the whole day? Oh, see, I would have been like, I don’t know how to do that.
Well, she wants to do it in between classes. Oh, you know, so
who has time for that? I don’t I remember in high school, like, my high school was even as probably as big as hers. And we’re trying to get from side to side anyway.
And they have double storey. Yeah, anyway. Yeah. And so um, that thank you for the reminder bring this up. Because I have not looked at her screen time during the school I could, I just wanted to see where it was at. So it’s probably good for me to look at that
and be so mad. Like guy made it so that I have now with texting. During remember, you guys have an app which will alert you for any, like, inappropriate language or anything like that. It’s
called bark. Okay. It’s incredibly hard to do on an iPhone. That computer down there literally monitors her phone, and I have a three terabyte hard drive there. That’s all that computer does. Because I phone with iPhone does is they don’t do it real time they make you download all the data. So every time she comes home, Wi Fi connects, downloads all the data, they analyze it and they send out the notifications and it’s just this constant.
Yeah, for real. Yep. Why is iPhone such
because they have some privacy. But the androids like trick or treat will go anywhere you want to go in this
phone? Well, yeah. And again, if you’re a parent anyways, okay, that’s, and then the last thing
is no phones or devices in the bedrooms.
That’s smart. Yep. Yeah. So again, we’ve just started having so for a while we did a gap watch. I mean, you’ve heard a gap.
You know, we thought about getting one for Solly. We’re just not just because when he gets home sometimes Avery’s not home and he I don’t know. Yeah, he if he wasn’t autistic, I wouldn’t feel but sometimes he gets goes brain dead. And he’s like, I don’t remember the garage code.
Yeah. It is nice to have even though we had some problems with gaps I wouldn’t necessarily recommend Yeah, but it was nice because again, it was on his wrist he wouldn’t lose it. You know, boys going around playing basketball, football wherever you’re like, where he’s on the phone in the grass and start playing and they leave and he’s actually lost his watch before so you know, like, again, he’s gotten better with that but now we’re looking at having to move away from gab huge issues. So we had old iPhone pulled it out. Got it kind of ratty, but then didn’t need to but then now we’re using without without cell service. So it’s like at home now he has a device that has way more access than anything
but how is he going to text if he’s out from his Gatewatch Oh, he still has
he still has because it ended up there was a huge issue there to send us a new watch. They weren’t going to blah blah blah. Sounds like I don’t want to get a gap lots lots of hours. Um, yeah, they did a software update that messed up so many of their devices anyways. All that to say so we started dealing with it but then yeah, it’s just like dance of like Facebook Messenger for kids Facebook Messenger for you. It’s okay sweet but then who and then
do their kids friends even use Facebook? Like
yeah, for that they do the Facebook Messenger for kids his friends use Mike Mike none of the better guys. It’s probably kids at school. It’s a different type of school allows parents have more control. Yeah,
I did. I did set it up for the kids. But that No, no, their friends ever did anything on
it. I think cams friends are just more likely to have that. So anyways, but then like with like, can they can they call on it? Video Chat? Like, what’s the limit? It’s just really interesting. Like, we haven’t allowed them any other social media. Yeah, he’s in seventh grade at a smaller Christian school, so there’s a little less pressure, but I’m like, man,
if you’re gonna do Apple, I do recommend bark. And it doesn’t read every text message. It just flags things. And it flags too much. I’m telling you, like, it’s the stupidest things I need to like, tweak the filter a little bit. Because I mean, it will get like 60 a day. Oh, wow. Yeah. But if her friend says shit, it flags it if if a friend says oh, I have a headache, it flags it as medical. Oh, or I need to take some ibuprofen flags as drugs.
And again, you get why because they just have an algorithm to present.
I don’t hate it, I have to go adjust the filter a little bit so it doesn’t read all the text messages. So they she still has privacy. It’s a great platform. It’s just a little bit clunkier with iPhone,
do you guys have the rule that you guys can read whatever anytime you want. Okay, and that’s how we are to and again cam was a little bit like, you know, I was like dude, like this is the way forward like again as you age that’s become less and less but we do it we have to protect you and make sure that you’re
well it’s a trust issue for us if we feel like she’s being shady like I rarely grab her phone Yeah. Every once in a while grab it at night when she goes to bed but I mean, there’s so much shit in there. I’m like, I need software to monitor this because I don’t have time. You know, and she can’t download any apps yet. I approve them all so it’s pretty locked down.
Yeah, and I do like about iPhone like the amount of screen time what Is your max screen time of day between everything? Do you have a max? You’re just each app has its own limits? For the kids. Yeah, for the kids.
I think it’s just those three apps. Okay, button. Oh, the max screen? That’s a good question. I think it’s two hours. Okay. So that’s a good thank you for bringing that up. I said, If you burn that during the day, you don’t get more at night. You’re done. I make her do chores. If she wants more tick tock time.
Oh, Kim’s gonna hate you.
It’s not hard stuff. But it’s like annoying stuff that I don’t want to do. I’m like, can you go put those two baskets of laundry away? I’ll give you an hour
a tic tac toe. He’s gonna be so annoyed at you why he’s so mad at you. Because I’m gonna start using that. I mean, but no, it’s great. That’s a great way. Hey, you want more? Yeah,
I mean, it’s not like you gotta go like shovel horse manure. It’s just like, there’s stuff that I don’t want to do that I’ve been annoyed with for days, you get to do it.
And you’re showing that you’re more responsible, and therefore can have more screen time. And frame it like that. So anyways, I found an article for Mayo Clinic about teens and social media. It’s a little bit old. It’s like from 2018. But it starts off with social media benefits. So here’s where like, again, a few years ago, I was this ideal parent. I was like, my kid doesn’t need social media and messaging. You’re like this? Yeah. A couple years ago, right? Like, you’re like, yeah, they don’t really need that until they’re older. Well, that’s not true. Because again, the benefit is then that he can talk with his friends outside of school.
Yeah, he’s gonna be the only you realize that he’s gonna be on the kid. That’s gonna miss stuff. Yeah, because his friends are talking in he’s just gonna be like, I’m left out.
Exactly. And again, not everyone has that in his school. There’s even some eighth graders that don’t have their own phone. But for the most part, it’s been a positive because he’s been able to talk with friends. Yeah, like again. But at first, you know, couple years ago, like a year, doesn’t it? Well, of course they do. Because they, right, as you said, their life is online, in a way. And that’s how they continue talking with their friends and are not left out of the circles. Yeah, I’m assuming for homecoming, there was some sort of group chat going on. Oh,
yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, the night of Homecoming, Shiva and asked to turn it back on because that 11 Her phone shuts off. Okay. And she’s like, you turn the screen off, and I don’t think I can turn it off until the till it switches off or something. Oh, yeah. She’s out there at like, 1015. I like waiting. And I’m like, Alright, I turned 11. And I turned it off for so I’m, I’m not the meanest Dad, where I’m like, Ah, it’s Saturday night. you’re chatting about Homecoming. It’s fine. You can have it on. I’m like,
so this is post homecoming. They definitely had to break it down.
Break it. Oh, after homecoming. Yeah. There was some drama. Of course, there always is.
Oh, Homecoming. Yeah. So again, they talk about it, you know, and even social media, like with tic tac, it’s for entertainment, or for self expression. Do you do you ever check what she posts?
Yeah, I’m friends with her on everything.
When she hides it from you? She might? Is it possible?
Yeah, I did catch her having a Instagram account. That was like a throwaway account those burner account? Yeah, so that’s so common. Yeah. So yeah, I have to, I just, you know, I just gotta trust that she’s going to do the right thing. I mean, if you’ve raised a decent kid, and, you know, I’m all about if you don’t screw the trust up, I’m gonna let you’re gonna get a long leash, but when you screw it up, it’s gonna get ripped back.
So here’s something on that article. I don’t want to go through the whole article. But this is interesting. The risk might be related to how much social media teens use a 2019 study, and more than 60 512 to 15 year olds in the US found that those who spent more than three hours a day using social media might be at a heightened risk for mental health problems, which makes sense in your right that’s where kind of your screen time we have it two to three hours as well total. Like that’s fantasy football, that’s everything. Yeah. But ya know, that’s that’s an I did that without knowing that three hours, but that just seems right like that. Okay. Beyond that, but then they say, there’ll be an that the links up between high levels of social media use and depression or anxiety symptoms, which I found interesting. So anyway, so high levels of anxiety and social media use. So here’s a here’s what they say about protecting your teen. Are you ready? I’m ready, set reasonable limits, boom, boom, we’ve gotten that we’re amazing. Monitor your team’s account. We both do that differently. You use technology. I randomly go through yours is a much better way. Explain what’s not okay. Like, do you guys have talks? Like you guys talk about it much or was that was that early on? Even
Yeah, we did. You know, make sure we’re wearing appropriate clothes. Don’t you know, post anything seductive and do not bully people? Yeah, I didn’t talk about that. There are times where I look in bark and I’m like, Ah, Avery like she likes to talk shit. Like damn girl, like someone’s gonna frickin smack you across
the face. So which parent does she get that from? She gets it
from me, but We’ve we’ve warned her like Megan’s like kind of banging her head against the wall like, Listen, honey, I’ve been through this. Like, apparently, Meghan was not the greatest in high school. Okay, she was a little bit of a bully and talk shit. So she’s like, it doesn’t work like yeah, not great. So don’t do it. So.
So yeah, maybe a few more bullying tax. Yeah. I
mean, we can only talk about it. And she’s got she’s got to get the consequence of for sure. I mean, I can’t I can lead a horse to water, but I can’t make it drink. Yeah, cuz the natural consequence
is you don’t have your friends anymore. Correct. Because they think you’re a jerk. Yeah, our biggest thing is we’ve told cameras, whatever you post online, is there forever. Yeah, we’ve definitely said that to somebody some way can get a hold of anything. And that’s again, I don’t get to working with students for so long. And that’s the thing about Snapchat is they think it doesn’t exist anymore. But it exists somewhere. Somebody’s got it somewhere. some server somewhere has what you sent in it did not go away. No, but they think it does.
And then yeah, okay. Snapchats not gonna release it. But then they get hacked. And then they leak everything. Yep. You know, and so,
yep. And then you get in because the likelihood in the next 25 years that they have a major hack, and that stuff is on the internet is high. Yeah, I would say do you want whatever you sent thinking to always anyway, so that that’s that I’m encouraged face to face contact with friends? And then talk about social media. Yeah, that’s two of the same things. Explain what’s not okay. And talk about a comma and Mayo Clinic.
I mean, communication is the key with all of it. It’s just more talking about all of it. Well, it definitely will even make them think twice about posting even if you’re not like remote on them. You’re just talking about it. Yeah, like mom and dad did talk about this the other day, so maybe
I shouldn’t do that. The next one is distracted driving. Are you ready for this? Yeah, this is gonna make you my mind. A little bit sad. What was the percentage of loss? Okay, here we go. Sorry. I lost that. Over 30 Overall, 34% of teen texters aged 16 to 17. They’ve texted while driving, that translates into 26 of all American teens. 16 to 17. So when you’re driving, so when Avery’s driving, there’s a 30% chance one in three chance that she will text except for you talked about technology.
Yeah, so I use life 360 That’s what the one we’re going to try. Okay, and I have that now, but I’m gonna buy this subscription. And it will tell you when she picks up her phone, and what she does on it. So are you while she’s driving?
So this is my question. Because again, I’ve had different parents do different things. And I wonder so how cars cars you can set up life? 360 did tell you everything in the world. Yeah, you can say if she was in a car that went around a corner too fast. Accelerated too fast break too fast. Whatever. Are you planning on setting up
that? Yep. Okay. And it sounds really bad. And it does sound bad. And I’m not going to use it as a tool to like, punish her. I just want to monitor it. Like, sorry, you were born in this time of life. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, we got I got away with murder in my car. I drove like a dick a lot. And no one ever knew about it. And I never had any consequences, because I didn’t, you know, screw up. But I’m going to use it as a tool. And I’m not going to be like, Hey, I saw you brake hard. I’m like, No, but I mean, if you know, if the car comes back damage, I’m going to be like, You need to look at some stuff.
And you’re also going to have the dash cams.
Yeah, I’m still on the fence with that. I feel like that’s a really big evasion. She didn’t bat an eye on it when I said it. And now I’ve always had a dashcam in my car. So it’s like, it’s not it’s normal to them. They know everything’s recording and all the time. Okay. But I’m still on the fence with that. Yeah, I don’t know, I might take it out and just give her a little bit of leeway. But that 360s is going to
be on. So now. Is that going to also when she’s writing with other people? Will that track it too? Yeah, that’s
gonna be my only caveat. I’m not sure how I’m able to. I mean, obviously, if she doesn’t have one of my cars, then she’s not driving. I mean, in theory,
yeah. In theory until she gets her own. Yeah. And then she could drive to a friend’s and then they could drive right, are
there I mean, I guess she would have to say, I’m not driving, you know, such and such as I’m like, okay.
Okay. Because, again, I know, just I know, there are parents who overdid life. 360. And then when their kid went to college, I mean, they’re probably strict in a lot of areas. They went batshit crazy.
The kid said, Oh, we’re not that we’re not strict, though.
I know. But like, it’s just it’s just interesting. Like, that’s always been my warning. Now. On the other hand, the parents who did nothing their kids went batshit crazy to write. You know,
I had friends that went crazy at Calvin College and got kicked out because they had so many real strict parents. Yeah, so mine’s gonna be a monitoring Yeah. It’s not going to be like I’m going to I don’t have time to look at that shit all the time yeah but if I see something pop up and like you were honestly it’s more than using the phone it’s not the heartbreaking whatever your new driver you’re gonna drive like shit yeah I get it it’s okay
what is what is the speed limit that you’re going to have it’s send you a message yet
wow I can you do it I don’t think you can do it per Speedzone can you know but
like total because again I mean if you’re doing 50 and a 30 Is it really that dangerous? Yes versus doing it?
Yes it is. Well for 30 mile an hour is almost residential. I know but
like versus doing 100 Doesn’t matter where you are 100 is yeah all round more dangerous. Yeah, I’m
sure I’ll set it like 7590
No, 90 is like you’re really breaking like a lot of
their speed kills anything over 55 on the highway. You’re losing gas mileage and it’s more dangerous. We look it up for the person who drives I don’t I do at but I’m just saying you burn a lot more fuel. Well, of course. And it’s more dangerous.
One of my favorite parents. Their kid had he had gotten a vet from his grandpa Oh cheese, and I was like, Hey, are you gonna put any you know, are you gonna matter there? He’s like, No, you don’t hear what’s going to tell on him is his gas usage? Yeah, because it was an old vet right you just as you hit the gas and the gas. See the gauge and moving he’s like the gas is gonna punish him for being an idiot as it is. I was like, That’s funny. That’s the type of parent I want to be. But anyways, here’s an interesting run. Set among all teens 12 to 17 48% So they’ve been in the car when the driver was texting. See that? That’s the part I think that scares me more right? You can teach your kid all the right things. I’ll get in the car but
she’s with somebody else. And then they’re too I hope she says Hey, yo, don’t be texting don’t when I’m in the car. Yeah, I want to talk to her about that. Yeah, like she does have a girlfriend that takes her to dance and stuff. But this kids a good kid as far as I don’t know if she uses her phone it’s such a short trip. But like as of this point, she seems like a good driver can
you imagine Okay, so like going back to 16 in maybe hitting 100 miles an hour maybe now I’m not gonna admit to anything can you imagine texting
100 is so fast it is so fast you know at your cruising add 20 miles to that Yeah, your shits flying by so fast. I know like
but like back in the day like I can’t imagine if I would add a phone to text and when I would go 100 Or maybe maybe one 100 Maybe took my parents van 90 down gravel roads may or may not have done that. Sorry Jen.
Do not do speed on gravel roads you hold die.
That was the dumbest thing but but can you imagine them being able to tax like because again as you said if you look down to taxed at 100 You’ve covered so much ground so much ground. And now because the laws you can’t just remember your first they weren’t laws and you could tax while doing this. Yeah, I feel like that was so do it all the time. That was safer. And safer than looking down. Yeah. But anyways. Limits Kids drive. I’m glad that my kid is not driving for a couple of years because that sounds scary. Especially this technology. So So you guys are putting up boundaries doing all that because your parents who love her? Yeah,
it’s not a it’s not an overbearing thing. I do like control. We obviously know that. But again, the bark is just it’s monitors it. It’s there if I if I need to, you know,
have you guys framed it as we want to make sure you’re safe. Yeah, okay.
And she knows it’s monitored. She doesn’t swear in her tax. She’s smart. Yeah,
it ain’t heard. That’s flagging it. Nice. She hasn’t gotten her dad’s potty mouth yet.
I’m sure she does. I swear like a sailor around them kids.
But again, I think that’s the way we’ve tried to frame it with cameras. Like we’re here to protect you and keep you safe. It’s not that we’re trying to keep you fun. But again, right. I imagine as a team like it feels like
Yeah, but if you have those if you’re a decent parent, though, like they get it they may not like it like a read a lot of stuff doesn’t like it but she respects it because she knows I’m not like, can do this. I don’t I’m not like that. I’m chill. I’m just like, hey, but this is our rule. All right, you know,
and here’s the limit. Because if you go past that, here’s what’s gonna happen.
And when she talked to me about having a school we had a conversation about I was like, You know what, I’ll trust you. Yeah,
see if she’s burned all her hours. Yeah, I need to go. She’s gonna hate me. Cams gonna hate you. What was what was I gonna have to listen back?
What was I gonna do? Oh, so to get screentime you have to do some chores.
That’s what’s gonna be he’s gonna be so mad at you. And Avery is gonna be mad at me. Yeah, that’s gonna be awesome.
All right. Well, guys, I appreciate you guys listening. I was not ready for this transition. I should have been we’re professionals. We’ve done a million episodes. Yeah. If you love this show, which I hope you do if you could share this episode with somebody that might that might like it. Sorry for Garrett on castbox. I look into a little bit and it hasn’t had the last two. It’s almost like they I’m sorry break yeah and decided they were going to uphold but I can’t control castbox It pulls from iTunes Apple podcasts and it’s on Apple so I don’t know I send an email to Buzzsprout but anyways no one needs to care about that but but so yeah if you could share the episode with somebody like I didn’t know Garrett was still listening I appreciate you get you can always send an email to us to if you
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You can tell we don’t say it a lot. And then as always keep the faith do your work and live life unfiltered. This podcast is produced and edited by Hey guys media group want to start a podcast check out hey guys media group.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai